I recently commented on a friend's wonderful post about her father. As happy as I was for her, I must confess there welled up within me a terrible sadness. My dad died in August 1989. (8-9-89) There is no opportunity for resolution for us, but there is great motivation to be sure that no other chapter in my life ends that way. I wrote this back in 2002.
Like Hugging a Tree
My dad was born and raised in Canada. He moved to this country when he was sixteen. Not much is known about his childhood. Supposedly he was born a twin, but the twin did not survive, nor did the record of his existence. Dad was small enough to sleep in a drawer when he was an infant.
I have pictures that show him with a dog. He almost looks happy. He was made to play the piano, but hated it. They were too poor to have horses, so Dad rode cows for entertainment.
The pictures of when Dad and Mom were dating were of friends at the beach and around sharp cars. Dad was always surrounded by women. Recently my eighteen-year-old daughter described him as a “stud.” I guess he was.
Dad was devoted to his work. For as long as I was around Dad worked for Columbia Gas. He had no education beyond a quarter of college where he flunked Chemistry and never went back. This didn’t hold him back much. He moved up the ranks to some vice president position, or perhaps he was an assistant to a vice president. My memory is little fuzzy, because by then I was out of the house and married, focusing on my own family.
When I was in late elementary school Dad started traveling for the company. It wasn’t all the time, but it seemed to be increasing. Mom took a part-time job at the local library for about a year then. By the time I hit junior high school Dad began to travel weekly. He would leave on Mondays and be back Friday afternoons. I didn’t see him much on the weekend because I started having my own life. When I was home his nose was in a paper or on his chest, taking a nap.
Dad wasn’t very mechanically inclined. He didn’t repair things. He didn’t tinker. He loved his lawn to look nice and would spend a lot of time ridding it of weeds and making sure it was greener than anyone else’s around.
When I was in High School Dad developed a crafty side. He began making pine cone wreathes. He took orders for varying sizes. I don’t know where or when he developed this interest, but he was good at it. This hobby of sorts (and source of extra income) afforded an activity for Dad and I to work on together. As far as I can remember, he only asked for my help. We would go to different places (like the cemetery across the highway) and pick up the cones. I enjoyed doing that with him. Sometimes we wouldn’t find much of anything and just ride our bikes around.
Dad was the one to teach me to drive. Really, I think of my two parents, he was just the braver to ride with me. He was always telling me how he felt I was going to drive into the ditch. He also taught me to parallel park. He started with broomsticks in cinder blocks. When that was mastered he upped the ante a bit by first parking his work car in front of me and then at the rear. Fear motivated me to learn quickly. I could just see me creaming his car. I passed that part of the test with flying colors.
The women all seemed to love Dad. At parties, when I could sneak a peak (we were always banished to our bedrooms or the basement), I would see them hanging on him and laughing too loudly at his jokes and antics. He was always drinking and liked to see other people drink. When I was in college and my parents lived in Pennsylvania, Dad was in a car accident and charged with a DUI. As I remember the story, he played golf with the judge and pretty much got out of any fine or trouble.
Dad loved to golf. That was one of the things he and my husband had in common. My mom’s sister and brother-in-law had bought a house in a town in Arizona that was a retirement community known for its golf courses. Mom took up golf and they would go out together. They traveled a lot in those last few years of his life, but always looked forward to retiring in Green Valley.
Cancer killed my father. Or was it pride? Cancer was discovered in his bladder and rather than going through an ostomy surgery and having an external bag, Dad opted to go with chemotherapy and radiation. This afforded him about an extra year through remission. The cancer returned and with a vengeance, attacking his lungs and his brain.
In July 1989, Dad had a severe seizure. I went to visit. He was pretty incoherent. He had lost so much weight he didn’t look much like my dad. One brief moment on that visit Dad seemed to come out of the fog to give me wonderful advice and encouragement. Then just quickly as it lifted the darkness descended. He was gone six weeks later.
For all his flirtatiousness with other women, I don’t remember much tenderness or affection at home. He would kiss Mom and I would occasionally see them hug. But they never really seemed happy while I was home. The pictures of their travels seem to show them as cozy couple, smiling for the camera, in embraces that hinted at love and affection.
I remember giving hugs and kisses, at night, leaving for outings, or going away to college. Hugging my dad was like hugging a tree: stiff and totally unreturned, leaving me feeling empty and alone. I guess that’s why I’ve kept a tape of one our last conversations for all these years. When Dad called to say that the cancer had returned in May of 1989, I pushed the record button on the answering machine. In that conversation where he described only having months to live, my dad told me that he loved me. I have not only a piece of his voice, I have the words and they are precious to me.
Was it because of his upbringing? The alcohol? Or some other secret he took with him into death’s dark abyss that caused him to withhold gentle and warm embraces from me? I wonder. All I know is this, whether I am giving or receiving, no one will ever say hugging me is like hugging a tree. We all need tenderness, and affection. The world is too cold and hostile a place to send a child without the assurance of your love and encouragement. Make sure you really hug your child today!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Dance Dreams
The class went well. At least Nelson said it did and I’m still getting positive feedback. I ran out of time and didn’t get to finish the lesson. We ran over and the choir was late for warm up, which I heard about from the director (oops…giggle). They seemed to enjoy picking out their Potato Heads. Oddly enough, there were some leftover. And sadly, the Potato Head t-shirt I ordered to where while I taught arrived today in the mail (that’s me: day late and a dollar short). I’m going to take it with me on the bus trip later this week.
Did I mention I’m going on a bus trip? Things have been so hectic, I guess I forgot. Our class takes a bus trip each fall. Last year we went to Gettysburg and Hershey PA. This year we’re running through Nashville and some Native American sites of interest (I’ll put the exact places in later when I can pull up my itinerary) and then on down to the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC. I’m excited. Nelson doesn’t have any time off so I’ll be rooming with an older woman from the class. She’s a dear and I really enjoy her zeal for life. The challenge will be slowing down and talking loud. She’s extremely hard of hearing. It should prove interesting and fun! “)
This past weekend I was sucked in to an all weekend marathon. I watched at least some of every episode of “So You Think You Can Dance.” I loved it. My family just shook their heads at me—I’m used to that! (big giggles) Last night the final results were on the show from 11PM to midnight. I had been watching in bed but I started to fall asleep. The last thing I wanted to do was fall asleep and not see who won after watching all those episodes. So I went down to watch in the living room. I ate a snack even though I wasn’t hungry, hoping it would keep me awake. Wouldn’t you know it: I fell asleep!!! I was so disoriented I almost went to bed. But then the show came back on and I was able to watch them announce that person I wanted to win actually won!
I was thinking about the whole dance thing. I wanted to dance so badly when I was little. I would spin in my black patent leather Mary Janes dreaming I was a great prima ballerina. I remember wishing I could fly. This weekend as I watched the dancers, that’s what it sometimes seemed like they were doing, flying. Their leaps took them from the ground and it was as if they were suspended in air forever. It’s funny. As I’m sitting here at my desk, I can almost feel that soaring desire within.
I was amazed as I watched some of the expressions and movements. I don’t know how you are, but I know that for me I have always been too inhibited to find the freedom to move like that. They could make their bodies move in ways that I absolutely know my body is not wired and therefore never capable of achieving—certainly not now but probably not even then. They controlled their bodies. I have never felt.
And then there’s the whole passion thing. Have I ever wanted anything that badly? I feel like such a little kid writing that. But if I were a kid at least I would have my life ahead of me to pursue something. I’m fifty. So much time wasted. Okay, not wasted, but not focused.
I teach a unit in transitional class that invites the participants to dream about what they really want and then begin to think of how to bring those plans to fruition. It’s much easier to teach a principle than to apply it and live it sometimes.
Perhaps that’s what I’ll plan to do on this bus trip…dream a little…maybe even a lot.
Did I mention I’m going on a bus trip? Things have been so hectic, I guess I forgot. Our class takes a bus trip each fall. Last year we went to Gettysburg and Hershey PA. This year we’re running through Nashville and some Native American sites of interest (I’ll put the exact places in later when I can pull up my itinerary) and then on down to the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC. I’m excited. Nelson doesn’t have any time off so I’ll be rooming with an older woman from the class. She’s a dear and I really enjoy her zeal for life. The challenge will be slowing down and talking loud. She’s extremely hard of hearing. It should prove interesting and fun! “)
This past weekend I was sucked in to an all weekend marathon. I watched at least some of every episode of “So You Think You Can Dance.” I loved it. My family just shook their heads at me—I’m used to that! (big giggles) Last night the final results were on the show from 11PM to midnight. I had been watching in bed but I started to fall asleep. The last thing I wanted to do was fall asleep and not see who won after watching all those episodes. So I went down to watch in the living room. I ate a snack even though I wasn’t hungry, hoping it would keep me awake. Wouldn’t you know it: I fell asleep!!! I was so disoriented I almost went to bed. But then the show came back on and I was able to watch them announce that person I wanted to win actually won!
I was thinking about the whole dance thing. I wanted to dance so badly when I was little. I would spin in my black patent leather Mary Janes dreaming I was a great prima ballerina. I remember wishing I could fly. This weekend as I watched the dancers, that’s what it sometimes seemed like they were doing, flying. Their leaps took them from the ground and it was as if they were suspended in air forever. It’s funny. As I’m sitting here at my desk, I can almost feel that soaring desire within.
I was amazed as I watched some of the expressions and movements. I don’t know how you are, but I know that for me I have always been too inhibited to find the freedom to move like that. They could make their bodies move in ways that I absolutely know my body is not wired and therefore never capable of achieving—certainly not now but probably not even then. They controlled their bodies. I have never felt.
And then there’s the whole passion thing. Have I ever wanted anything that badly? I feel like such a little kid writing that. But if I were a kid at least I would have my life ahead of me to pursue something. I’m fifty. So much time wasted. Okay, not wasted, but not focused.
I teach a unit in transitional class that invites the participants to dream about what they really want and then begin to think of how to bring those plans to fruition. It’s much easier to teach a principle than to apply it and live it sometimes.
Perhaps that’s what I’ll plan to do on this bus trip…dream a little…maybe even a lot.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Dilemma
Or options.
I'm not always good at either.
The Potato Heads arrived and now I have to choose which lesson I'm going to do. I'm leaning hard towards the Potato Heads.
Edit:They're getting the Potato Heads tomorrow. I can't wait. Honestly, it makes me smile to just think about it now. No wait, that's not a smile...it's a full blown giggle.
Back when I was involved in full-time church ministry and preaching on a regular basis, the daughter of one my friends shared this interesting thought with my friend. She told her mom that she thought I could make a sermon illustration out of a booger. I never did, but it's a thought that has sure stuck with me (all pun intended...giggles)
I just delight in being able to take information and present it in fresh and memorable (or remember-able) ways.
So tomorrow everyone in class gets a Mr. Potato Head. It's been an expensive lesson, but worth every penny to me!
I'm not always good at either.
The Potato Heads arrived and now I have to choose which lesson I'm going to do. I'm leaning hard towards the Potato Heads.
Edit:They're getting the Potato Heads tomorrow. I can't wait. Honestly, it makes me smile to just think about it now. No wait, that's not a smile...it's a full blown giggle.
Back when I was involved in full-time church ministry and preaching on a regular basis, the daughter of one my friends shared this interesting thought with my friend. She told her mom that she thought I could make a sermon illustration out of a booger. I never did, but it's a thought that has sure stuck with me (all pun intended...giggles)
I just delight in being able to take information and present it in fresh and memorable (or remember-able) ways.
So tomorrow everyone in class gets a Mr. Potato Head. It's been an expensive lesson, but worth every penny to me!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Beyond Mediocrity
I went to the fair yesterday. This was the first time I’ve been to the fair in over 10 years. The last 3 years I haven’t been allowed due to probation/supervision requirements. It was tons of fun!!!
I had forgotten how much I loved fair food. I didn’t go way overboard, but I enjoyed a gyro, deep fried oreos (because I was “coerced” into sharing…), cinnamon toasted pecans, and lemon shake ups. Oh, my!
In the afternoon I ducked out of work for a short while to film Asher’s first foot race. Last year Beth entered him in the diaper (crawling) derby. He didn’t do well then and he was a hoot this year, too! He took off and then turned around and ran back to the start line and beyond. Realizing he was going the wrong way he turned around and headed toward the finish line. But he stopped about half way and began turning in circles. All this time he still could have won because none of the other children in his heat had finished. After about three circles one little child found the finish line. Asher was probably more pleased with the rubber ball he got for just being in the race. I got the whole thing on video and Nelson said I did a pretty good job capturing the it!
We went back to the fair after Nelson and I got off work. We went with Beth, Ron, and Asher. Nelson played the role of indulger. He purchased an unlimited ride pass for Asher. I wish I could have bottled the joy in that child’s face. He loved every ride! It was just the best stuff ever.
This weekend I get to teach our Sunday school class. I wasn’t able to get my Potato Heads quick enough. I did win two lots of them on ebay. So that lesson will wait until next month and that’s okay. Instead, I will be doing the lesson on material from “Experiencing God.” In addition to presenting the seven realities of experiencing God I’m going to use a bit of information from a lecture I do on moving beyond mediocrity. Last week when I taught the class a new format unfolded as I taught and I let the class know what a neat thing it was. I’m going to take the information and cast it into a spiritual sense. We’re going to examine why we settle for mediocrity in our spiritual life. I believe the answer to mediocrity (or at least one of them) is passion. Here’s the bare bones of the chart that goes with that portion of the lecture:
(no self) Aimlessness, going through the motions
(self) Mediocrity, settling, staying comfortable and in the familiar
(selfish) Success, typically about money or achieving and acquiring
(selfless) Excellence, passion
Many go through life aimlessly and rarely get anywhere (positive, anyway). Many more get some direction and move into mediocrity but stay there because they are comfortable staying with what is familiar. While the first group has no awareness of who they are (no self) the second group does have some awareness, but don’t take the opportunities to improve themselves. If people develop goals and begin to achieve they find a road to success that they hadn’t realized possible. Now if things go well here, I believe people will move into the next level. If they get stuck in the loop of achieving and acquiring the focus stays on self and can shift into a new form of mediocrity.
What it takes to move to excellence is passion. With passion comes a focus on others that results in selflessness. At this point I use the illustration of Olympic athletes. They are driven to levels of excellence not typically for self gain but for country. (I know that’s not true for everyone, and if pushed too far any illustration can break down. Just consider the spirit of the illustration.)
That discussion then will lead me to ask the class to consider where they may be on the chart, and more specifically, where they may be spiritually. As a segue from that into Blackaby’s material I’m going to use a quote by Stephen Covey:
When you study the lives of all great achievers--those who have had the greatest influence on others, those who have made things happen--you will find a pattern. Through their persistent efforts and inner struggle, they have greatly expanded their four native human intelligences or capacities. The highest manifestations of these four intelligences are: for mental, vision; for the physical, discipline; for the emotional, passion; for the spiritual, conscience. These manifestations also represent our highest means of expressing our voice.
Stephen Covey (1932 - )
Source: The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness, Page: 65
We’ll see how it goes. I feel good about it. I must confess though, I was looking forward to the Potato Heads. Later for him…and for you! “)
I had forgotten how much I loved fair food. I didn’t go way overboard, but I enjoyed a gyro, deep fried oreos (because I was “coerced” into sharing…), cinnamon toasted pecans, and lemon shake ups. Oh, my!
In the afternoon I ducked out of work for a short while to film Asher’s first foot race. Last year Beth entered him in the diaper (crawling) derby. He didn’t do well then and he was a hoot this year, too! He took off and then turned around and ran back to the start line and beyond. Realizing he was going the wrong way he turned around and headed toward the finish line. But he stopped about half way and began turning in circles. All this time he still could have won because none of the other children in his heat had finished. After about three circles one little child found the finish line. Asher was probably more pleased with the rubber ball he got for just being in the race. I got the whole thing on video and Nelson said I did a pretty good job capturing the it!
We went back to the fair after Nelson and I got off work. We went with Beth, Ron, and Asher. Nelson played the role of indulger. He purchased an unlimited ride pass for Asher. I wish I could have bottled the joy in that child’s face. He loved every ride! It was just the best stuff ever.
This weekend I get to teach our Sunday school class. I wasn’t able to get my Potato Heads quick enough. I did win two lots of them on ebay. So that lesson will wait until next month and that’s okay. Instead, I will be doing the lesson on material from “Experiencing God.” In addition to presenting the seven realities of experiencing God I’m going to use a bit of information from a lecture I do on moving beyond mediocrity. Last week when I taught the class a new format unfolded as I taught and I let the class know what a neat thing it was. I’m going to take the information and cast it into a spiritual sense. We’re going to examine why we settle for mediocrity in our spiritual life. I believe the answer to mediocrity (or at least one of them) is passion. Here’s the bare bones of the chart that goes with that portion of the lecture:
(no self) Aimlessness, going through the motions
(self) Mediocrity, settling, staying comfortable and in the familiar
(selfish) Success, typically about money or achieving and acquiring
(selfless) Excellence, passion
Many go through life aimlessly and rarely get anywhere (positive, anyway). Many more get some direction and move into mediocrity but stay there because they are comfortable staying with what is familiar. While the first group has no awareness of who they are (no self) the second group does have some awareness, but don’t take the opportunities to improve themselves. If people develop goals and begin to achieve they find a road to success that they hadn’t realized possible. Now if things go well here, I believe people will move into the next level. If they get stuck in the loop of achieving and acquiring the focus stays on self and can shift into a new form of mediocrity.
What it takes to move to excellence is passion. With passion comes a focus on others that results in selflessness. At this point I use the illustration of Olympic athletes. They are driven to levels of excellence not typically for self gain but for country. (I know that’s not true for everyone, and if pushed too far any illustration can break down. Just consider the spirit of the illustration.)
That discussion then will lead me to ask the class to consider where they may be on the chart, and more specifically, where they may be spiritually. As a segue from that into Blackaby’s material I’m going to use a quote by Stephen Covey:
When you study the lives of all great achievers--those who have had the greatest influence on others, those who have made things happen--you will find a pattern. Through their persistent efforts and inner struggle, they have greatly expanded their four native human intelligences or capacities. The highest manifestations of these four intelligences are: for mental, vision; for the physical, discipline; for the emotional, passion; for the spiritual, conscience. These manifestations also represent our highest means of expressing our voice.
Stephen Covey (1932 - )
Source: The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness, Page: 65
We’ll see how it goes. I feel good about it. I must confess though, I was looking forward to the Potato Heads. Later for him…and for you! “)
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
On Prisoners and Freedom
Luke gives us a picture of Jesus’ early preaching/teaching ministry. In it Jesus appears to be clearly stating his purpose as he unfolds the words of the prophet. We find it in Luke 4:16-21:
16He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. 17The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:
18"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed, 1
9to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."[a]
20Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant, and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, 21and he began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing." (NIV)
The phrase that grabbed my attention was in verse 18. Jesus tells them in verse 21 that today that scripture is fulfilled in their hearing, so it seems to me that he is saying that God sent him to proclaim freedom for the prisoners.
I remember when I met with my lawyer for the first time. He cautioned me in my zeal to be honest. He recounted that many believers who found themselves on the wrong side of the law, who thought that by telling the truth they would be set free from their consequences. I don’t find that in scripture. My understanding of many texts throughout the Bible portrays a loving God who doesn’t remove the consequences (just take a look at David who lost his son) but who promises to walk with us through the consequences even to restoration (see Micah 7: I will be patient as the Lord punishes me, for I have sinned against him…The Lord will bring me out of my darkness into the light and I will see his righteousness.).
What then is this freedom of which Jesus spoke and the prophet wrote? Let me first begin by pointing out how important this message must have been both to the heart of God and the ministry of Jesus: this is his first recorded message. Position is a powerful indicator of the importance of a topic. This passage is heart and soul to everything that Jesus would be about.
With that in mind, I believe that the message was to the prisoners. Unfortunately, as with many of the things that Jesus taught, I believe that it was highly likely that Jesus was misunderstood. To a people who had known captivity and injustice this was a message of physical and national redemption. I don’t, however, believe that was the emphasis Jesus wanted to make. I believe that the freedom was not so much freedom from something as much as it was freedom within it. There would not be the removal of consequences, but there definitely was promised the grace to endure and actually be able to count it all joy.
I’m finding that one of the toughest places for a prisoner to find freedom is freedom from judgment. No matter how much time one has done in jail or prison or on paper, there will be those who feel it is never enough. And that leads me to the second audience for Jesus’ message: those who have never broken the law.
I remember the interview I had for my present position. One of the board members asked me when I had experienced restoration. In part, it depends on where I am. With my family, it feels complete. Among my closest friends it is complete. But it is in the church where I still struggle to feel forgiveness. It is in the church where I feel the oppressiveness of judgment. It is in the church where I feel the least free.
Now, please let me hasten to say that there are pockets of loving, accepting, and forgiving people in the church. They have ministered abundant grace to my aching heart and reached out in love and forgiveness. But this experience has not been across the board. And quite honestly, I don’t expect it to be. That’s why I believe that Jesus’ message is twofold. First, I can’t wait to find freedom from my circumstances. There will be people who feel totally justified in their daily role of judge and jury (and sometimes executioner). I have to accept them and accept the freedom in my circumstances that Jesus offers.
But I also believe that Jesus is challenging those who have stood in judgment and continued to hold crime against a person, never allowing for repentance or restoration. His challenge is that they should bring freedom to the prisoner as well. If a person expresses genuine remorse and repentance, restoration should follow.
Jesus’ words are life-giving to those who have been through poverty, prison, illness, and oppression, but the joy is short-lived if we aren’t lovingly restoring the wayward back into life and fellowship. Remember, it isn’t much further into His ministry that Jesus makes it quite clear that with the same measure of mercy and forgiveness we offer to others we ourselves will be judged.
(This is just a start…but I wanted to put the thoughts out there.)
More thoughts...
Let's consider a few biblical examples. Let's start with Paul, or Saul as he was still known. He is a murderer and an all out zealot to squelch this new band of believers. God has other plans and there on the Damascus road Saul experiences God in a whole new way. His life will never be the same. The problem was: who does he tell and how? No one is going to believe him. How will he ever experience the full freedom of following Christ and answering his calling if he constantly is judged for who he was? What if Barnabas had never stood up for him and in doing so set him free to serve?
16He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. 17The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:
18"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed, 1
9to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."[a]
20Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant, and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, 21and he began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing." (NIV)
The phrase that grabbed my attention was in verse 18. Jesus tells them in verse 21 that today that scripture is fulfilled in their hearing, so it seems to me that he is saying that God sent him to proclaim freedom for the prisoners.
I remember when I met with my lawyer for the first time. He cautioned me in my zeal to be honest. He recounted that many believers who found themselves on the wrong side of the law, who thought that by telling the truth they would be set free from their consequences. I don’t find that in scripture. My understanding of many texts throughout the Bible portrays a loving God who doesn’t remove the consequences (just take a look at David who lost his son) but who promises to walk with us through the consequences even to restoration (see Micah 7: I will be patient as the Lord punishes me, for I have sinned against him…The Lord will bring me out of my darkness into the light and I will see his righteousness.).
What then is this freedom of which Jesus spoke and the prophet wrote? Let me first begin by pointing out how important this message must have been both to the heart of God and the ministry of Jesus: this is his first recorded message. Position is a powerful indicator of the importance of a topic. This passage is heart and soul to everything that Jesus would be about.
With that in mind, I believe that the message was to the prisoners. Unfortunately, as with many of the things that Jesus taught, I believe that it was highly likely that Jesus was misunderstood. To a people who had known captivity and injustice this was a message of physical and national redemption. I don’t, however, believe that was the emphasis Jesus wanted to make. I believe that the freedom was not so much freedom from something as much as it was freedom within it. There would not be the removal of consequences, but there definitely was promised the grace to endure and actually be able to count it all joy.
I’m finding that one of the toughest places for a prisoner to find freedom is freedom from judgment. No matter how much time one has done in jail or prison or on paper, there will be those who feel it is never enough. And that leads me to the second audience for Jesus’ message: those who have never broken the law.
I remember the interview I had for my present position. One of the board members asked me when I had experienced restoration. In part, it depends on where I am. With my family, it feels complete. Among my closest friends it is complete. But it is in the church where I still struggle to feel forgiveness. It is in the church where I feel the oppressiveness of judgment. It is in the church where I feel the least free.
Now, please let me hasten to say that there are pockets of loving, accepting, and forgiving people in the church. They have ministered abundant grace to my aching heart and reached out in love and forgiveness. But this experience has not been across the board. And quite honestly, I don’t expect it to be. That’s why I believe that Jesus’ message is twofold. First, I can’t wait to find freedom from my circumstances. There will be people who feel totally justified in their daily role of judge and jury (and sometimes executioner). I have to accept them and accept the freedom in my circumstances that Jesus offers.
But I also believe that Jesus is challenging those who have stood in judgment and continued to hold crime against a person, never allowing for repentance or restoration. His challenge is that they should bring freedom to the prisoner as well. If a person expresses genuine remorse and repentance, restoration should follow.
Jesus’ words are life-giving to those who have been through poverty, prison, illness, and oppression, but the joy is short-lived if we aren’t lovingly restoring the wayward back into life and fellowship. Remember, it isn’t much further into His ministry that Jesus makes it quite clear that with the same measure of mercy and forgiveness we offer to others we ourselves will be judged.
(This is just a start…but I wanted to put the thoughts out there.)
More thoughts...
Let's consider a few biblical examples. Let's start with Paul, or Saul as he was still known. He is a murderer and an all out zealot to squelch this new band of believers. God has other plans and there on the Damascus road Saul experiences God in a whole new way. His life will never be the same. The problem was: who does he tell and how? No one is going to believe him. How will he ever experience the full freedom of following Christ and answering his calling if he constantly is judged for who he was? What if Barnabas had never stood up for him and in doing so set him free to serve?
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Motivation
I just watched a special on Bravo. It was a reunion of the Biggest Losers. I like the show. As I sat there though, it really got me thinking. I've put on some of the weight I took off. I was motivated in a new way to get back to eating healthy. I'm thankful I never lost the motivation to exercise. If I had I know I'd be right back where I started.
In two and a half weeks I'll be starting a weight management class at Curves. I'm going to be doing the plan 100%! My goal is to lose at least 15 pounds during the 7 weeks of class.
I work with highly unmotivated people. Sometimes I feel like a cheerleader, cheering on a team that gave up trying long ago. They aren't inspired to change because their mantra is: why bother? Things aren't ever going to be better.
Oh, there are a few that have risen beyond that. They have chosen to move beyond their self-defeating behaviors. They are such a joy to work with and I give them my all.
But what about the rest? How do I reach them? It's just not in me to give up.
So, I have a question for you, my readers. What motivates you? What causes you to set goals and then reach for them? What keeps you going when you'd rather give up? When no one else is watching what is that thing, that thought, that kick in the butt to get you moving?
Thanks for the input! Y'all are just the best!
In two and a half weeks I'll be starting a weight management class at Curves. I'm going to be doing the plan 100%! My goal is to lose at least 15 pounds during the 7 weeks of class.
I work with highly unmotivated people. Sometimes I feel like a cheerleader, cheering on a team that gave up trying long ago. They aren't inspired to change because their mantra is: why bother? Things aren't ever going to be better.
Oh, there are a few that have risen beyond that. They have chosen to move beyond their self-defeating behaviors. They are such a joy to work with and I give them my all.
But what about the rest? How do I reach them? It's just not in me to give up.
So, I have a question for you, my readers. What motivates you? What causes you to set goals and then reach for them? What keeps you going when you'd rather give up? When no one else is watching what is that thing, that thought, that kick in the butt to get you moving?
Thanks for the input! Y'all are just the best!
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Teaching this Quarter
For the third lesson of my four this quarter I will be drawing info from Blackaby's Experiencing God. This book was very important to the healing process in the last church I pastored. Here are the basic themes:
SEVEN REALITIES OF EXPERIENCING GODFrom Experiencing GodBy Henry T. Blackaby and Claude V. King
1. God is always at work around you.
2. God pursues a continuing love relationship with you that is real and personal.
3. God invites you to become involved with Him in His work.
4. God speaks by the Holy Spirit through the Bible, prayer, circumstances, and the church to reveal Himself, His purposes, and His ways.
5. God’s invitation for you to work with Him always leads you to a crisis of belief that requires faith and action.
6. You must make major adjustments in your life to join God in what He is doing.
7. You come to know God by experience as you obey Him and He accomplishes His work through you.
This week I looked at (from Buchanan's book "Your God is Too Safe") moving from "borderland" (the place of comfort, familiar, and complacency) to the "holy wild." The key or answer being surrender.
In my next lesson I'm going to focus on how we are or aren't using the gifts God has given us. My key verse is 1 Corinthians 12:18 and the idea that God has put us right were he wants us and our gifts and the mix of the gifts around us are all on purpose.
Then looking at Blackaby's seven themes we're going to discuss that realm of holy wild and living and experiencing God.
Finally, my last lesson will tie the OT and NT together by looking at how well we "wait on God." I will look at a passage in Habakuk 2 and tie that into the rich but often ignored tradition of Advent.
I'm so excited about this.
SEVEN REALITIES OF EXPERIENCING GODFrom Experiencing GodBy Henry T. Blackaby and Claude V. King
1. God is always at work around you.
2. God pursues a continuing love relationship with you that is real and personal.
3. God invites you to become involved with Him in His work.
4. God speaks by the Holy Spirit through the Bible, prayer, circumstances, and the church to reveal Himself, His purposes, and His ways.
5. God’s invitation for you to work with Him always leads you to a crisis of belief that requires faith and action.
6. You must make major adjustments in your life to join God in what He is doing.
7. You come to know God by experience as you obey Him and He accomplishes His work through you.
This week I looked at (from Buchanan's book "Your God is Too Safe") moving from "borderland" (the place of comfort, familiar, and complacency) to the "holy wild." The key or answer being surrender.
In my next lesson I'm going to focus on how we are or aren't using the gifts God has given us. My key verse is 1 Corinthians 12:18 and the idea that God has put us right were he wants us and our gifts and the mix of the gifts around us are all on purpose.
Then looking at Blackaby's seven themes we're going to discuss that realm of holy wild and living and experiencing God.
Finally, my last lesson will tie the OT and NT together by looking at how well we "wait on God." I will look at a passage in Habakuk 2 and tie that into the rich but often ignored tradition of Advent.
I'm so excited about this.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Spud Lessons
Class went so incredibly well. Saturday evening, I did something I rarely do: I started to go over the lesson with Nelson. I never rehearse. I didn't rehearse my sermons. I do the research. I prepare. And I get up there and deliver.
As I was sharing my lesson with Nelson, I was reading a big long piece I was using as an illustration (my entry entitled "Autopilot). I looked up at him and his brow was all furrowed. Much as he would like to deny it, he was frowning big time. I realized, based on his feedback that I'm a much better extemporaneous speaker than reader of information, that I needed to adjust what I was going to be doing.
I ended up depending very little on my notes. I gave the gist of the autopilot piece and I actually ran out of time. That was one of my biggest fears: that I would run out of material long before I ran out of time. I know, it's hard to imagine me running out of things to say...
The feedback I got was very positive.
So now I'm on to the next lesson. I won't get to teach again until September 23. I'm going to use a wonderful illustration from Bob Benson entitled "The Urn." It's a satirical pieces about the strife between denominations I'm using 1 Corinthians 12: 12-27:
12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles,[e] some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.[f]
14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?
18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”
22 In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. 23 And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, 24 while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. 25 This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. 26 If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.
27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. (New Living Translation)
I'm going to use Mr. Potato Head as a hands on illustration. At the very least everyone will be going home with a piece of a Mr. Potato Head to remind them of their place in the body. I've been shopping the Internet and what I would really like to do is purchase enough Potato Head kids that everyone in the class would go home with one. (There are about 50 in our class.) I found a t-shirt and a sweatshirt for sale on EBay with Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head on them. I'm getting one and I'll wear it when I teach. I love visuals and I love giving something to the class to tangibly remind them of the lesson.
Well, it's late and I think it's about time for potato head dreams. Sweet ones to you!
As I was sharing my lesson with Nelson, I was reading a big long piece I was using as an illustration (my entry entitled "Autopilot). I looked up at him and his brow was all furrowed. Much as he would like to deny it, he was frowning big time. I realized, based on his feedback that I'm a much better extemporaneous speaker than reader of information, that I needed to adjust what I was going to be doing.
I ended up depending very little on my notes. I gave the gist of the autopilot piece and I actually ran out of time. That was one of my biggest fears: that I would run out of material long before I ran out of time. I know, it's hard to imagine me running out of things to say...
The feedback I got was very positive.
So now I'm on to the next lesson. I won't get to teach again until September 23. I'm going to use a wonderful illustration from Bob Benson entitled "The Urn." It's a satirical pieces about the strife between denominations I'm using 1 Corinthians 12: 12-27:
12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles,[e] some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.[f]
14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?
18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”
22 In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. 23 And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, 24 while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. 25 This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. 26 If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.
27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. (New Living Translation)
I'm going to use Mr. Potato Head as a hands on illustration. At the very least everyone will be going home with a piece of a Mr. Potato Head to remind them of their place in the body. I've been shopping the Internet and what I would really like to do is purchase enough Potato Head kids that everyone in the class would go home with one. (There are about 50 in our class.) I found a t-shirt and a sweatshirt for sale on EBay with Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head on them. I'm getting one and I'll wear it when I teach. I love visuals and I love giving something to the class to tangibly remind them of the lesson.
Well, it's late and I think it's about time for potato head dreams. Sweet ones to you!
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Lovely Morning
It has been a wonderful morning. Nelson got to go in early for overtime, so I was up at 4:10 braiding his hair. After that I fell right back into bed and slept soundly until 7:30 when I popped up and dressed to go work out. I had a good hard workout at Curves. On the way home I grabbed two coffees: one for me (hazelnut, of course) and one for Beth (she likes hers without girlie flavors). Then I came home, made a fried egg sandwich, and made my way to the wicker on the front porch. Ahhhhhhh.
I have decided a few things this morning.
1. I am ready for fall. I am not into the extreme seasons any longer. I love the warming up and cooling down of spring and fall. I value being able to sit on the porch or the yard swing and enjoy mellow moments that the cold snowy days of winter and hot humid days of summer just don’t offer. It makes me sad when I see the leaves on the ground, but I will focus more on their autumn glory of their final hurrah.
2. I love looking at houses. But not just the structures. I love to notice the ways in which people declare that they are living there. When I was coming home from Curves I noticed a couple houses that had cars in their drives, but that was about the only indication that anyone lived there. There were no flowers, or personal touches around the outside of the house. The windows were treated with mini-blinds so there weren’t even curtains to admire. I drove a couple blocks and noticed a couple more of the “naked” houses, but also the lived ones. And I started thinking about what it means to be “at home.” By that I mean, what does it mean to be comfortable, present, and living in your shell?
3. Working at Curves has caused me to do something more in 6 months than probably all the 6 previous years combined. Ok, that might be a wee bit of an exaggeration, but wearing shorts and capris to workout in and work in leaves one’s nubby little legs out—not a pretty sight! (giggles) It’s funny: I really like the smooth clean-shaven feel.
4. I love the farmer’s market. Our town has market gathering on both Wednesday evenings and Saturday mornings. Today I went by myself. I perused the produce and ended up buying two pints of cherry tomatoes, two pints of the biggest sandwich tomatoes, and a flower arrangement of different colored zinnias. I didn’t think twice on the tomatoes, but actually struggled at the thought of spending three dollars on the flowers for myself. It seemed so odd to me that I wouldn’t think twice if I was spending the money on flowers for someone else, but really struggled to spend it on me. Silly. I drove home the three blocks, pleased with my purchased. Reveling in the beauty of the day. Our neighbors appear are a young couple with a mom living with them. Mom was out back sitting on their patio furniture, which is right next to the fence between our yards. She commented on how pretty the flowers were. I walked right over to the fence and gave her the flowers. She was so surprised, she was speechless. I love doing that. “)
Well, I don’t know what else the day will hold, but I intend to enjoy it! Hope you can, too!
I have decided a few things this morning.
1. I am ready for fall. I am not into the extreme seasons any longer. I love the warming up and cooling down of spring and fall. I value being able to sit on the porch or the yard swing and enjoy mellow moments that the cold snowy days of winter and hot humid days of summer just don’t offer. It makes me sad when I see the leaves on the ground, but I will focus more on their autumn glory of their final hurrah.
2. I love looking at houses. But not just the structures. I love to notice the ways in which people declare that they are living there. When I was coming home from Curves I noticed a couple houses that had cars in their drives, but that was about the only indication that anyone lived there. There were no flowers, or personal touches around the outside of the house. The windows were treated with mini-blinds so there weren’t even curtains to admire. I drove a couple blocks and noticed a couple more of the “naked” houses, but also the lived ones. And I started thinking about what it means to be “at home.” By that I mean, what does it mean to be comfortable, present, and living in your shell?
3. Working at Curves has caused me to do something more in 6 months than probably all the 6 previous years combined. Ok, that might be a wee bit of an exaggeration, but wearing shorts and capris to workout in and work in leaves one’s nubby little legs out—not a pretty sight! (giggles) It’s funny: I really like the smooth clean-shaven feel.
4. I love the farmer’s market. Our town has market gathering on both Wednesday evenings and Saturday mornings. Today I went by myself. I perused the produce and ended up buying two pints of cherry tomatoes, two pints of the biggest sandwich tomatoes, and a flower arrangement of different colored zinnias. I didn’t think twice on the tomatoes, but actually struggled at the thought of spending three dollars on the flowers for myself. It seemed so odd to me that I wouldn’t think twice if I was spending the money on flowers for someone else, but really struggled to spend it on me. Silly. I drove home the three blocks, pleased with my purchased. Reveling in the beauty of the day. Our neighbors appear are a young couple with a mom living with them. Mom was out back sitting on their patio furniture, which is right next to the fence between our yards. She commented on how pretty the flowers were. I walked right over to the fence and gave her the flowers. She was so surprised, she was speechless. I love doing that. “)
Well, I don’t know what else the day will hold, but I intend to enjoy it! Hope you can, too!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Review
Tuesday: my pain was at a 3 in the morning. It had been up to 8 on Monday. I had my ultrasound at 2:30. My paperwork had been faxed over and I forgot I was to drink a bazillion ounces prior to the test. Fortunately she was able to get a clear picture. The last time the girl was very calming and reassuring. This time the gal was a hoot. I laughed my way through the exam if you can imagine that. The funniest part was that my cell phone started ringing just she was about to insert the probe. We both just roared with laughter imagining the kinds of conversation that could take place if I had answered the phone.
(Just a note: It's Friday and I've been pain free for two days. I haven't heard from the doctor either so I'm going to work under the assumption that everything is progressing as it should.)
Wednesday: This morning I actually feel human again. Hopefully this is the beginning of better days to come! If not, a hysterechtomy is looking pretty good right now!
I missed teaching yesterday but I felt good taking care of myself. A good diary buddy suggested the very things I would have told someone else. She was spot on. I'm just not verry good at taking care of myself.
It appears that Ann and Travis are headed for divorce. My heart is aching for them. They just don't seem to be able to figure out how to be together. Ann called last night. They were having a terrible fight. She said that Travis had hit her. She went to Job and Family Services to begin the process of getting assistance and getting out on her own. She's going to stay over there where she has a job and so Travis will still be in the kids' lives. It's just so hard when they ask for advice and help but don't heed any of it. (insert huge helpless feeling sigh)
Beth and Ron, on the other hand, appear to have benefited greatly from their creating some space. It hasn't hurt either that they've discussed what they've seen Ann and Travis going through. So some good is coming out of that after all.
Thursday: I taught class. It felt so good. On the third day of this class I focus on self-defeating behavior, communication, and landing the job (resumes, applications, and interview techniques and skills for the ex-offender). When we were done one of the full time employees of the job store who teaches job readiness/prep skills came and told me that he had overheard the lecture and that I did a good job. That felt good. Sometimes I wonder if I’m on target and his encouragement helped me with that a lot!
Friday: It’s been a busy day. I started out at the factory/packaging program and did a bunch of paperwork. Then I came back to the office to prepare for a meeting our management team was going to have this afternoon to discuss how to rewrite our curriculum. I had some ideas I wanted to get down on paper. Before the meeting we had lunch at a restaurant in a nearby town where we have a jail ministry. I had a wonderful (!!!!) salad. After lunch we went to the town’s brand new library, secured a study room, started creating our curriculum. When we decided on the basic components and direction we agreed that we each need to come up with our design and then we’ll put it all together. I have two weeks to do that. Eek! Part of the urgency in this is that we’re presenting our program to a new county on September 26 in an all day seminar.
This Sunday starts a new quarter in our Sunday School. I was asked to be a part of a team of three to teach our class. I start this Sunday and we’ll rotate through the rest of the quarter. The teacher who just finished ended with a section on how faith isn’t safe. I’m picking up on that this week and using material from Mark Buchanan’s book, “Your God is Too Safe” and tying it in with my piece from a few weeks back, “Autopilot.”
I haven’t completely landed on all the rest of the lessons, but I think I’m doing at least one from Henry Blackaby’s book, “Experiencing God”, one on Life in the Body (drawing on a wonderful story by Bob Benson and Mr. Potato Head), and one on the real meaning of Advent. It should be a very interesting quarter.
Well, I’m done here and need to go work out. Have a great holiday weekend, if you’re in the States, or just a wonderful weekend celebrating the advent of Fall! TTFN “)
(Just a note: It's Friday and I've been pain free for two days. I haven't heard from the doctor either so I'm going to work under the assumption that everything is progressing as it should.)
Wednesday: This morning I actually feel human again. Hopefully this is the beginning of better days to come! If not, a hysterechtomy is looking pretty good right now!
I missed teaching yesterday but I felt good taking care of myself. A good diary buddy suggested the very things I would have told someone else. She was spot on. I'm just not verry good at taking care of myself.
It appears that Ann and Travis are headed for divorce. My heart is aching for them. They just don't seem to be able to figure out how to be together. Ann called last night. They were having a terrible fight. She said that Travis had hit her. She went to Job and Family Services to begin the process of getting assistance and getting out on her own. She's going to stay over there where she has a job and so Travis will still be in the kids' lives. It's just so hard when they ask for advice and help but don't heed any of it. (insert huge helpless feeling sigh)
Beth and Ron, on the other hand, appear to have benefited greatly from their creating some space. It hasn't hurt either that they've discussed what they've seen Ann and Travis going through. So some good is coming out of that after all.
Thursday: I taught class. It felt so good. On the third day of this class I focus on self-defeating behavior, communication, and landing the job (resumes, applications, and interview techniques and skills for the ex-offender). When we were done one of the full time employees of the job store who teaches job readiness/prep skills came and told me that he had overheard the lecture and that I did a good job. That felt good. Sometimes I wonder if I’m on target and his encouragement helped me with that a lot!
Friday: It’s been a busy day. I started out at the factory/packaging program and did a bunch of paperwork. Then I came back to the office to prepare for a meeting our management team was going to have this afternoon to discuss how to rewrite our curriculum. I had some ideas I wanted to get down on paper. Before the meeting we had lunch at a restaurant in a nearby town where we have a jail ministry. I had a wonderful (!!!!) salad. After lunch we went to the town’s brand new library, secured a study room, started creating our curriculum. When we decided on the basic components and direction we agreed that we each need to come up with our design and then we’ll put it all together. I have two weeks to do that. Eek! Part of the urgency in this is that we’re presenting our program to a new county on September 26 in an all day seminar.
This Sunday starts a new quarter in our Sunday School. I was asked to be a part of a team of three to teach our class. I start this Sunday and we’ll rotate through the rest of the quarter. The teacher who just finished ended with a section on how faith isn’t safe. I’m picking up on that this week and using material from Mark Buchanan’s book, “Your God is Too Safe” and tying it in with my piece from a few weeks back, “Autopilot.”
I haven’t completely landed on all the rest of the lessons, but I think I’m doing at least one from Henry Blackaby’s book, “Experiencing God”, one on Life in the Body (drawing on a wonderful story by Bob Benson and Mr. Potato Head), and one on the real meaning of Advent. It should be a very interesting quarter.
Well, I’m done here and need to go work out. Have a great holiday weekend, if you’re in the States, or just a wonderful weekend celebrating the advent of Fall! TTFN “)
Monday, August 27, 2007
Owie
It’s like my left ovary is screaming. I don’t hurt anywhere else. I have called the doctor again. Yesterday I was curled up in the fetal position. I was wondering, given the sharpness of the pain if perhaps it wasn’t my ovary, but maybe a kidney stone trying to pass. Advil isn’t touching the pain.
Dr. R just called and I’m going to get the next available ultrasound appointment.
They called back. There’s a cancellation tomorrow afternoon at 2:30. I have to be in Sandusky tomorrow teaching all day. If I don’t take that one I can’t get in until after 9/13. I am sitting here at my desk in tears.
I have never thought of myself as a wuss, but this pain is second worse I’ve ever know. First being childbirth.
I just called off from Curves tonight. The manager was obviously ticked. I’m really sorry. I was filling in for someone who had to go to her daughter’s pre-school open house. The manager has been taking days off right and left. I’m really sorry to inconvenience them, but I can’t stand up. Even if I went in and faked the closing hour, I couldn’t clean the place and that’s really all she wanted me for.
I just talked to Dan. He’s a good boss. He told me to work out the details with Bob (co-worker) to have him cover class in the afternoon. Hopefully Bob will be as understanding.
I’ve tried relaxation breathing. I’ve tried sitting all curled up. No relief. I almost wish I’d had those pain scripts filled now—but who would have thought that three weeks from the surgery I’d be feeling like this.
I know there are so many in real pain, who have suffered long. I feel like such a baby. It’s just that I’ve been fortunate to not have had to endure pain, not like this.
Bob is going to take the whole day of teaching and we worked out plans for if I don’t feel well Wednesday. Bob and John the admin assistant just prayed for me and now I’m going home..
Dr. R just called and I’m going to get the next available ultrasound appointment.
They called back. There’s a cancellation tomorrow afternoon at 2:30. I have to be in Sandusky tomorrow teaching all day. If I don’t take that one I can’t get in until after 9/13. I am sitting here at my desk in tears.
I have never thought of myself as a wuss, but this pain is second worse I’ve ever know. First being childbirth.
I just called off from Curves tonight. The manager was obviously ticked. I’m really sorry. I was filling in for someone who had to go to her daughter’s pre-school open house. The manager has been taking days off right and left. I’m really sorry to inconvenience them, but I can’t stand up. Even if I went in and faked the closing hour, I couldn’t clean the place and that’s really all she wanted me for.
I just talked to Dan. He’s a good boss. He told me to work out the details with Bob (co-worker) to have him cover class in the afternoon. Hopefully Bob will be as understanding.
I’ve tried relaxation breathing. I’ve tried sitting all curled up. No relief. I almost wish I’d had those pain scripts filled now—but who would have thought that three weeks from the surgery I’d be feeling like this.
I know there are so many in real pain, who have suffered long. I feel like such a baby. It’s just that I’ve been fortunate to not have had to endure pain, not like this.
Bob is going to take the whole day of teaching and we worked out plans for if I don’t feel well Wednesday. Bob and John the admin assistant just prayed for me and now I’m going home..
Friday, August 24, 2007
")
Last night I wanted to write, but it’s hard when you’re doubled over with cramps. Today I’m fine. They seem to be worse in the evening. My family is getting concerned. I’m just tired.
It’s been a rough week. Penelope is in full 3yr mode: cute as a button, ornery as the dickens, stubborn as a mule, smart as a whip, and more opinionated than a sixteen year old! We think it might be better to consider shorter stays. The one nice thing is that she is very well-potty trained. We’ve only had one accident and that was probably my fault for not realizing how late it was when I gave her something to drink before bedtime. Ann and Travis will be here today with Caden for the weekend. “)
Ron moved out this week. I miss having him around, but I know it’s the right thing for their relationship. They needed some space. Hopefully this will help heal things and enable to know if they’re ready to move on in their relationship. It’s just so hard to balance support and opinion.
Nelson may be going to second shift at Rcompany. We’ve had to really talk about how life is going to go if he does. Will I still be able to work at Curves? Hopefully. If Beth can request and secure Tuesday nights off then, it looks like a definite yes. If not, but Beth and Ron stay together, perhaps he’ll be able to work his schedule so he can watch Asher and I’ll be able to work. I had to talk to my boss because I’ll need to be home by 3:30 some days or 4:00 on others. That’s not unreasonable since most days I go in at 6:30. When I go home I’ll have my cell and access to the internet so I can carry on some business. But we’ll just have to wait until Monday to see if the shift will be changed for sure.
Another really neat thing happened for Nelson at work, too. He has worked in home building, remodeling, carpentry, and the like for most of our married life. When he wasn’t doing that he was cooking in a restaurant. So this transition to manufacturing has been different. I thought it would be more challenging for him. He has learned to run at least three different CNC (computer numeric controlled) machines on the fly. Most CNC operators go to school to learn what he has in a short period of time. He’s done well and I’m so very proud of him. Anyway, earlier this week his boss (my old boss who I think the world of) came and told him that he was going to go to Michigan next week with one of the company engineers and the guy responsible for the gages in the plant to learn some new gaging system. They’ll leave on Wednesday morning and return Thursday evening. Did I mention how proud I am of him? “)
Work has been interesting. We had a bomb threat yesterday at the worksite (fortunately I wasn’t there at the time). It was probably called in by a disgruntled employee. We were contacted by two lawyers regarding matters with former employees. Oh, and someone filed an OSHA complaint. It’s never dull with the folks I work with!
I was supposed to lead a workshop for the Huron County Job and Family Services on interview skills. I stopped on my way at the Goodwill to prove a point. While I was there I bought a faux three piece Alfred Dunner suit (pants, and a jacket with a “fake” vest. So many times when I tell people how they should dress for interviews they tell me that they can’t afford it. I bought a name brand, quality, good condition suit for $10. I was excited to include my purchase in my lecture, when I was informed as I arrived that no one had shown for the class. Sigh. I guess I’ll save my notes for another time and just look forward to wearing my new suit! “)
Have a smile filled day! “)
It’s been a rough week. Penelope is in full 3yr mode: cute as a button, ornery as the dickens, stubborn as a mule, smart as a whip, and more opinionated than a sixteen year old! We think it might be better to consider shorter stays. The one nice thing is that she is very well-potty trained. We’ve only had one accident and that was probably my fault for not realizing how late it was when I gave her something to drink before bedtime. Ann and Travis will be here today with Caden for the weekend. “)
Ron moved out this week. I miss having him around, but I know it’s the right thing for their relationship. They needed some space. Hopefully this will help heal things and enable to know if they’re ready to move on in their relationship. It’s just so hard to balance support and opinion.
Nelson may be going to second shift at Rcompany. We’ve had to really talk about how life is going to go if he does. Will I still be able to work at Curves? Hopefully. If Beth can request and secure Tuesday nights off then, it looks like a definite yes. If not, but Beth and Ron stay together, perhaps he’ll be able to work his schedule so he can watch Asher and I’ll be able to work. I had to talk to my boss because I’ll need to be home by 3:30 some days or 4:00 on others. That’s not unreasonable since most days I go in at 6:30. When I go home I’ll have my cell and access to the internet so I can carry on some business. But we’ll just have to wait until Monday to see if the shift will be changed for sure.
Another really neat thing happened for Nelson at work, too. He has worked in home building, remodeling, carpentry, and the like for most of our married life. When he wasn’t doing that he was cooking in a restaurant. So this transition to manufacturing has been different. I thought it would be more challenging for him. He has learned to run at least three different CNC (computer numeric controlled) machines on the fly. Most CNC operators go to school to learn what he has in a short period of time. He’s done well and I’m so very proud of him. Anyway, earlier this week his boss (my old boss who I think the world of) came and told him that he was going to go to Michigan next week with one of the company engineers and the guy responsible for the gages in the plant to learn some new gaging system. They’ll leave on Wednesday morning and return Thursday evening. Did I mention how proud I am of him? “)
Work has been interesting. We had a bomb threat yesterday at the worksite (fortunately I wasn’t there at the time). It was probably called in by a disgruntled employee. We were contacted by two lawyers regarding matters with former employees. Oh, and someone filed an OSHA complaint. It’s never dull with the folks I work with!
I was supposed to lead a workshop for the Huron County Job and Family Services on interview skills. I stopped on my way at the Goodwill to prove a point. While I was there I bought a faux three piece Alfred Dunner suit (pants, and a jacket with a “fake” vest. So many times when I tell people how they should dress for interviews they tell me that they can’t afford it. I bought a name brand, quality, good condition suit for $10. I was excited to include my purchase in my lecture, when I was informed as I arrived that no one had shown for the class. Sigh. I guess I’ll save my notes for another time and just look forward to wearing my new suit! “)
Have a smile filled day! “)
Saturday, August 18, 2007
For Fun
One word. No explanations.
1. Yourself: optimistic
2. Your spouse: blessing
3. Your hair: fine
4. Your mother: fun
5. Your father: gone
6. Your favorite item: computer
7. Your dream last night: unremembered
8. Your favorite drink: icecoffee
9. Your dream car: unpurchasable
10. The room you are in: office
11. Your ex: married
12. Your fear: multiple
13. What you want to be in 10 years: content
14. Who you hung out with last night: grandkids
15. What you're not: disciplined
16. Muffins: mega
17: One of your wish list items: laptop
18: Time: fleeting
19. The last thing you did: played
20. What you are wearing: shorts
21. Your favorite weather: spring
22. Your favorite book: Bible
23. The last thing you ate: pbj
24. Your life: full
25. Your mood: anticipatory
26. Your best friend: troubled
27. What you're thinking about right now: hunger
28. Your car: parked
29. What you are doing at the moment: enjoying
30. Your summer: over
31. Your relationship status: married
32. What is on your TV: cartoons
33. What is the weather like: autumnal
34. When was the last time you laughed: now
1. Yourself: optimistic
2. Your spouse: blessing
3. Your hair: fine
4. Your mother: fun
5. Your father: gone
6. Your favorite item: computer
7. Your dream last night: unremembered
8. Your favorite drink: icecoffee
9. Your dream car: unpurchasable
10. The room you are in: office
11. Your ex: married
12. Your fear: multiple
13. What you want to be in 10 years: content
14. Who you hung out with last night: grandkids
15. What you're not: disciplined
16. Muffins: mega
17: One of your wish list items: laptop
18: Time: fleeting
19. The last thing you did: played
20. What you are wearing: shorts
21. Your favorite weather: spring
22. Your favorite book: Bible
23. The last thing you ate: pbj
24. Your life: full
25. Your mood: anticipatory
26. Your best friend: troubled
27. What you're thinking about right now: hunger
28. Your car: parked
29. What you are doing at the moment: enjoying
30. Your summer: over
31. Your relationship status: married
32. What is on your TV: cartoons
33. What is the weather like: autumnal
34. When was the last time you laughed: now
Finding My Smile
It's Saturday morning. I'm about to head out to Curves. I've been up for little over a half hour. I slept better last night. It's supposed to be cooler today. I get to spend the day with three of my favorite people, doing something I usually enjoy: shopping. I'm anticipating a rise in the smile factor today!
Nelson was able to get some overtime in today. His machine has been down most of the week so he's been filling in wherever all week and that typically doesn't lead to overtime. The break has been somewhat nice, but we don't want to break the bank either!
It's been stressful here for young Beth and Ron. It's definitely a matter for prayer.
We met Annie halfway last night to make the Penelope swap. Caden was saying "Mema." It just tickled my heart. He's getting so many more words. I won't surprised if doesn't come up with a dozen more this week with big sissy not around to hog all the air space. And Miss P can talk and talk and talk. Lately, she just calls to talk--her mommy and daddy are going to find one heck of a minute plan when she gets older! One night we (I mean she) talked to me for over 25 minutes! The next night she called while I was at work and bent Pepa's ear for 31!! And it's all understandable conversation. And she's so animimated and emphatic. What a joy!!!! It's going to be an interesting week, to say the least.
I went to the doctor yesterday. I almost didn't. I thought my appointment was at 3:00. I couldn't find the card, but in my pea brain I was certain. At 10:15 yesterday morning, Beth calls me at work and tells me that they called from the doctor's office and my appointment had been for 9:00! I was sick. This doctor is wonderful and lots of people see her. Rescheduled appointments can be a month off. I called, ready to beg. The receptionist was so nice. They squeezed me in at 1:30. Thankful barely comes close to describing me! She says I look ok. She says sometimes it goes this way. She says she'll see me in another month. I trust her. I will feel better. I will.
There's a new song being chirped outside my window. It's as if God has hand delivered chipper to me this morning. I think I'll accept it and revel in the gift of this day. Hope you can, too.
Nelson was able to get some overtime in today. His machine has been down most of the week so he's been filling in wherever all week and that typically doesn't lead to overtime. The break has been somewhat nice, but we don't want to break the bank either!
It's been stressful here for young Beth and Ron. It's definitely a matter for prayer.
We met Annie halfway last night to make the Penelope swap. Caden was saying "Mema." It just tickled my heart. He's getting so many more words. I won't surprised if doesn't come up with a dozen more this week with big sissy not around to hog all the air space. And Miss P can talk and talk and talk. Lately, she just calls to talk--her mommy and daddy are going to find one heck of a minute plan when she gets older! One night we (I mean she) talked to me for over 25 minutes! The next night she called while I was at work and bent Pepa's ear for 31!! And it's all understandable conversation. And she's so animimated and emphatic. What a joy!!!! It's going to be an interesting week, to say the least.
I went to the doctor yesterday. I almost didn't. I thought my appointment was at 3:00. I couldn't find the card, but in my pea brain I was certain. At 10:15 yesterday morning, Beth calls me at work and tells me that they called from the doctor's office and my appointment had been for 9:00! I was sick. This doctor is wonderful and lots of people see her. Rescheduled appointments can be a month off. I called, ready to beg. The receptionist was so nice. They squeezed me in at 1:30. Thankful barely comes close to describing me! She says I look ok. She says sometimes it goes this way. She says she'll see me in another month. I trust her. I will feel better. I will.
There's a new song being chirped outside my window. It's as if God has hand delivered chipper to me this morning. I think I'll accept it and revel in the gift of this day. Hope you can, too.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Not Chipper
I just read a fav's entry: all her answers were in two word sentences. It's the perfect description of how I feel and why I haven't posted lately.
I feel like crap. I have no energy. I just want to pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep. Sleep, that's where I do my writing. I actually dream about writing posts.
When I had my surgery on the 3rd, I was anticipating pain and bleeding. Pain was so minimal and bleeding was no big deal. Since then I have have had cramps everyday. They're not bad, just there, and I feel bad enough to not feel good. I am so drained and my appetite is out the roof. I don't like this one bit and I want it to be better. Yesterday.
And I'm so irritable I don't like myself--and that doesn't even begin to describe how much other people are getting on my nerves. I like this even less than the pain.
Nothing has happened with the house, except our finances for some reason seem horribly bleak so I can't even imagine putting in a bid. Work has been tedious and frustrating. This is a teaching week for me and I'm not experiencing my usual joy with that. (Insert HUGE tired sigh.)
Highlights: Asher. Just writing his name makes me smile. He's become quite the chatterbox, extremely emphatic with his "words." And I'm quite excited to have Penelope coming for a week to visit! I'll be going to get her tomorrow.
Well, I'm off to Curves. Perhaps I'll be able to shake loose a few dolphins (endorphins) and feel a wee bit better.
TTFN
I feel like crap. I have no energy. I just want to pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep. Sleep, that's where I do my writing. I actually dream about writing posts.
When I had my surgery on the 3rd, I was anticipating pain and bleeding. Pain was so minimal and bleeding was no big deal. Since then I have have had cramps everyday. They're not bad, just there, and I feel bad enough to not feel good. I am so drained and my appetite is out the roof. I don't like this one bit and I want it to be better. Yesterday.
And I'm so irritable I don't like myself--and that doesn't even begin to describe how much other people are getting on my nerves. I like this even less than the pain.
Nothing has happened with the house, except our finances for some reason seem horribly bleak so I can't even imagine putting in a bid. Work has been tedious and frustrating. This is a teaching week for me and I'm not experiencing my usual joy with that. (Insert HUGE tired sigh.)
Highlights: Asher. Just writing his name makes me smile. He's become quite the chatterbox, extremely emphatic with his "words." And I'm quite excited to have Penelope coming for a week to visit! I'll be going to get her tomorrow.
Well, I'm off to Curves. Perhaps I'll be able to shake loose a few dolphins (endorphins) and feel a wee bit better.
TTFN
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Sigh
I'm in love.
Nelson and I went and looked at a house today.Here it is: http://www.cbward.com/listings/detail.php?lid=19731630&limit=0&offset=75&&&posc=89&post=184&cfq=limit%3D25%26pricemax%3D999999999%26radarea%3D0%26searchtype%3D1%26cidonly%3D1%26SRSearchDate%3D1186252601%26SRRecordCount%3D184%26SRPageCount%3D8%26SRPage%3D4
It is beyond gorgeous. On the first floor there is a living room, formal dining room, butler's pantry, pantry, back porch with laundry, kitchen, another eating area, a parlor, and a half bath. The wood work is phenominal. There are pocket doors all over and the windows and built ins outstanding.
The basement is never ending. It is dry. There are four areas down there.
On the second floor there is a small bedroom, a 3/4 bath (shower only), a master suite (full bath, bedroom with built in book shelves, a sitting room with a fireplace and french doors opening to a balcony over the huge front porch), and two nice bedrooms--all with hardwood floors.
The third floor is finished with two rooms. One was used as a bedroom and has a closet and built in dresser. The other room was a TV room.
There are several flower beds around the house with mature plants and shrubs. The back yard is fenced. There is a three car garage with a second floor the current owners were thinking about turning into an apartment for housing grad students.
From the time the house was built in 1896 until 1997 there were only three owners. It is decorated to period. NONE of the wood work is painted. I could move in today and not do anything to it.
I want it. It means we would have to stay here instead of moving to Arizona. It's the kind of gem you just don't find anymore. Nelson was already talking about how we could go to auctions and fill it. It is what I have always dreamed of.
Darn it all if we didn't just sign a year lease here. We laughed at how Asher could go hide and we might not find him for a few hours. We'd have to get pretty good at "Marco Polo."
We're going to pray about it. God is going to have to make this really clear to us. Nelson said, "What if someone else buys it before we get that clear sign from God?" I told him that would be a really, really clear sign. ")
I would just have to plant some lilacs to make it truly perfect.
Nelson and I went and looked at a house today.Here it is: http://www.cbward.com/listings/detail.php?lid=19731630&limit=0&offset=75&&&posc=89&post=184&cfq=limit%3D25%26pricemax%3D999999999%26radarea%3D0%26searchtype%3D1%26cidonly%3D1%26SRSearchDate%3D1186252601%26SRRecordCount%3D184%26SRPageCount%3D8%26SRPage%3D4
It is beyond gorgeous. On the first floor there is a living room, formal dining room, butler's pantry, pantry, back porch with laundry, kitchen, another eating area, a parlor, and a half bath. The wood work is phenominal. There are pocket doors all over and the windows and built ins outstanding.
The basement is never ending. It is dry. There are four areas down there.
On the second floor there is a small bedroom, a 3/4 bath (shower only), a master suite (full bath, bedroom with built in book shelves, a sitting room with a fireplace and french doors opening to a balcony over the huge front porch), and two nice bedrooms--all with hardwood floors.
The third floor is finished with two rooms. One was used as a bedroom and has a closet and built in dresser. The other room was a TV room.
There are several flower beds around the house with mature plants and shrubs. The back yard is fenced. There is a three car garage with a second floor the current owners were thinking about turning into an apartment for housing grad students.
From the time the house was built in 1896 until 1997 there were only three owners. It is decorated to period. NONE of the wood work is painted. I could move in today and not do anything to it.
I want it. It means we would have to stay here instead of moving to Arizona. It's the kind of gem you just don't find anymore. Nelson was already talking about how we could go to auctions and fill it. It is what I have always dreamed of.
Darn it all if we didn't just sign a year lease here. We laughed at how Asher could go hide and we might not find him for a few hours. We'd have to get pretty good at "Marco Polo."
We're going to pray about it. God is going to have to make this really clear to us. Nelson said, "What if someone else buys it before we get that clear sign from God?" I told him that would be a really, really clear sign. ")
I would just have to plant some lilacs to make it truly perfect.
Friday, August 03, 2007
I'm Home
And I'm fine. I really think I could have gone back to work and with some of the things going on I think I should have. Sigh.
I walked to the hospital this morning. I would have worked out at Curves, but our town is insane. All summer they have been resurfacing the main streets. It has been a mess. Traffic has been horribly knotted up. Yesterday they started on the main drag where Curves is and I honestly just didn't want to mess with the traffic. So instead of waking Beth up to give me a ride, I let her and Asher sleep and walked. It took me about 20 minutes.
I was whisked straight to out-patient surgery as soon as I was checked in. My nurse was a dear. My sticks went in perfect. My anestesiologist (sp?) was quite nice and spoke really fast. I met briefly with the doc. I really like her. I was rolled over to surgery. The gas doc said to breath deep and the next thing I knew I woke up in recovery. I was there about 20 minutes and moved back to my original room where I immediately needed to pee. I was home before 1:00. On a scale of 1-10 my pain is at a .5 and though I was given perscriptions for 800mg Motrin and Vicadin, I just took an Alieve. Beth assured me that if I wanted some spending money I could sell the Vicadin. I laughed and told her no thanks!!!! We both laughed.
I'm not supposed to drive or shower for 24 hours and have to wait 2 weeks for well, you know, until I see my doc. I can go back to Curves on Monday. My original nurse said that my quick wake up was probably due to be in such good shape. That made me feel good!
So, I'm going to rest for today. An iced coffee sure would be nice!
TTFN
I walked to the hospital this morning. I would have worked out at Curves, but our town is insane. All summer they have been resurfacing the main streets. It has been a mess. Traffic has been horribly knotted up. Yesterday they started on the main drag where Curves is and I honestly just didn't want to mess with the traffic. So instead of waking Beth up to give me a ride, I let her and Asher sleep and walked. It took me about 20 minutes.
I was whisked straight to out-patient surgery as soon as I was checked in. My nurse was a dear. My sticks went in perfect. My anestesiologist (sp?) was quite nice and spoke really fast. I met briefly with the doc. I really like her. I was rolled over to surgery. The gas doc said to breath deep and the next thing I knew I woke up in recovery. I was there about 20 minutes and moved back to my original room where I immediately needed to pee. I was home before 1:00. On a scale of 1-10 my pain is at a .5 and though I was given perscriptions for 800mg Motrin and Vicadin, I just took an Alieve. Beth assured me that if I wanted some spending money I could sell the Vicadin. I laughed and told her no thanks!!!! We both laughed.
I'm not supposed to drive or shower for 24 hours and have to wait 2 weeks for well, you know, until I see my doc. I can go back to Curves on Monday. My original nurse said that my quick wake up was probably due to be in such good shape. That made me feel good!
So, I'm going to rest for today. An iced coffee sure would be nice!
TTFN
Friday, July 27, 2007
Finally Friday
I didn't think it was ever going to get here...but it did. Today at 3:15 I met with the doctor to discuss the results of the biopsy I had done last week.
The very best news is that it was not cancer. Hugest of sigh of relief!!!!!
Next Friday morning I am having a endometrial ablation. This is to "fix" the problem of heavy bleeding and irregular cycles. According to the doctor, 50% of all women who have this procedure never have another period. I made her repeat that. Wow! 45% experience only light periods. And the remaining 5% observe no positive results from the procedure and have to have a hysterectomy. I want to be in the 50% group!
I'm just very relieved tonight. So is Nelson. I think I'll sleep well tonight.
I hope I do because tomorrow I work at Curves in the morning and then I'm driving to Annie's (about 2 1/2 hours). I'll spend the afternoon and evening spoiling my two other grandsweeties. I wish you could hear Pnel talk---she's the maturist sounding 3 1/2 yr old around! I have to show up with ice cream and a Pony (as in My Little Pony).
On Sunday then, I'm going to drive over to Ft. Wayne to visit with my friend who just graduated from seminary and took her first church. I'm taking some music along for church...and maybe my guitar. We'll have lunch and catch up before I'll head back home.
It'll be a full weekend, but I think my spirit will be blessed and I'm sure to bring home lots and lots of smiles!!!!
Hope there's some smiles in your weekend, too!
The very best news is that it was not cancer. Hugest of sigh of relief!!!!!
Next Friday morning I am having a endometrial ablation. This is to "fix" the problem of heavy bleeding and irregular cycles. According to the doctor, 50% of all women who have this procedure never have another period. I made her repeat that. Wow! 45% experience only light periods. And the remaining 5% observe no positive results from the procedure and have to have a hysterectomy. I want to be in the 50% group!
I'm just very relieved tonight. So is Nelson. I think I'll sleep well tonight.
I hope I do because tomorrow I work at Curves in the morning and then I'm driving to Annie's (about 2 1/2 hours). I'll spend the afternoon and evening spoiling my two other grandsweeties. I wish you could hear Pnel talk---she's the maturist sounding 3 1/2 yr old around! I have to show up with ice cream and a Pony (as in My Little Pony).
On Sunday then, I'm going to drive over to Ft. Wayne to visit with my friend who just graduated from seminary and took her first church. I'm taking some music along for church...and maybe my guitar. We'll have lunch and catch up before I'll head back home.
It'll be a full weekend, but I think my spirit will be blessed and I'm sure to bring home lots and lots of smiles!!!!
Hope there's some smiles in your weekend, too!
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Feet Up
I'm really enjoying my weekends. Sundays especially. It's so good to relax.
There has been a lot of stress at work lately. I think it's going to get better.
Health issues have arisen. I had the ultrasound on 7/10 and the in-office biopsy on 7/17. I will get the results on 7/27. My uterine wall is twice as thick as it should be. Could be nothing. Or...Have I ever mentioned how I loathe waiting?
I had a flat tire on the way to work last Monday AM. On my way to open the Curves club at 5:10AM. Luckily Nelson was able to hear the phone ring. He got me to work and the car to the tire place and I was only about 10minutes late.
Saturday was pleasant. I worked out early. Nelson took Asher to a family reunion where he met up with his parents and with Annie and the kids. Beth and I shopped and had lunch together. I also visited the book sale at the library. I came away with a couple of bags of books for next to nothing. I love that! I got a couple Robert Fulghum books. I really enjoy his stuff. Thought provoking humor. I got a few novels, a huge light cookbook (for Nelson), a book on menopause and women's health, and two Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus books (recommended for Beth and Ron by my mom :).....)
Today Nelson and I brought snacks for Sunday School. We cut up fruit and made my sister's yummy fruit dip (equal parts of cream cheese and marshmallow whip seasoned with cinnamon). You would have thought we brought pure gold. Everyone loved them. And of course there was way to much so we'll be enjoying some for a few days. Then Nelson and I sang in church. I love singing with my husband. We picked a couple short songs that we used to do when we were providing music for revivals back in the early 80's. It was fun and very well received.
So, Sundays are just good days for games on the Palm, reading, generally vegging on the front porch wicker. Right now Beth, Ron, and Nelson are watching a couple suspense movies. I'll pass.
I'll save my TV time for Next Food Network Star later.
I think there's an iced coffee calling my name, so please excuse me while I hunt it down and put my feet up again.
May there be moments of pure refreshing in your day today!
There has been a lot of stress at work lately. I think it's going to get better.
Health issues have arisen. I had the ultrasound on 7/10 and the in-office biopsy on 7/17. I will get the results on 7/27. My uterine wall is twice as thick as it should be. Could be nothing. Or...Have I ever mentioned how I loathe waiting?
I had a flat tire on the way to work last Monday AM. On my way to open the Curves club at 5:10AM. Luckily Nelson was able to hear the phone ring. He got me to work and the car to the tire place and I was only about 10minutes late.
Saturday was pleasant. I worked out early. Nelson took Asher to a family reunion where he met up with his parents and with Annie and the kids. Beth and I shopped and had lunch together. I also visited the book sale at the library. I came away with a couple of bags of books for next to nothing. I love that! I got a couple Robert Fulghum books. I really enjoy his stuff. Thought provoking humor. I got a few novels, a huge light cookbook (for Nelson), a book on menopause and women's health, and two Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus books (recommended for Beth and Ron by my mom :).....)
Today Nelson and I brought snacks for Sunday School. We cut up fruit and made my sister's yummy fruit dip (equal parts of cream cheese and marshmallow whip seasoned with cinnamon). You would have thought we brought pure gold. Everyone loved them. And of course there was way to much so we'll be enjoying some for a few days. Then Nelson and I sang in church. I love singing with my husband. We picked a couple short songs that we used to do when we were providing music for revivals back in the early 80's. It was fun and very well received.
So, Sundays are just good days for games on the Palm, reading, generally vegging on the front porch wicker. Right now Beth, Ron, and Nelson are watching a couple suspense movies. I'll pass.
I'll save my TV time for Next Food Network Star later.
I think there's an iced coffee calling my name, so please excuse me while I hunt it down and put my feet up again.
May there be moments of pure refreshing in your day today!
Friday, July 20, 2007
Terrible News
I got a call from a concerned former co-worker. This person was terribly concerned for me.
This person started by asking if I was ok. Their concern began to concern me.
Turns out that Nelson and I are getting a divorce. We had a fight. He left without saying anything in the middle of the night. And now we're getting a divorce.
This was very shocking and surprising to me.
I called Nelson to check on how we are. Turns out: it was news to him too. Can you believe it? We're getting a divorce and no one told us. I didn't think it worked that way, but I guess when someone decides to meddle and spread rumors because their life is so dull that's what happens.
Anyway, I'll keep you posted. I just wish there was a way to choose who can read blog postings. I enjoy the whole process of meeting new people through this medium, but I'm really tired of the way one person and their vindictive meddling can take something that has been so positive and turn it into something so distasteful and negative.
This person started by asking if I was ok. Their concern began to concern me.
Turns out that Nelson and I are getting a divorce. We had a fight. He left without saying anything in the middle of the night. And now we're getting a divorce.
This was very shocking and surprising to me.
I called Nelson to check on how we are. Turns out: it was news to him too. Can you believe it? We're getting a divorce and no one told us. I didn't think it worked that way, but I guess when someone decides to meddle and spread rumors because their life is so dull that's what happens.
Anyway, I'll keep you posted. I just wish there was a way to choose who can read blog postings. I enjoy the whole process of meeting new people through this medium, but I'm really tired of the way one person and their vindictive meddling can take something that has been so positive and turn it into something so distasteful and negative.
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