Friday, August 31, 2007


Tuesday: my pain was at a 3 in the morning. It had been up to 8 on Monday. I had my ultrasound at 2:30. My paperwork had been faxed over and I forgot I was to drink a bazillion ounces prior to the test. Fortunately she was able to get a clear picture. The last time the girl was very calming and reassuring. This time the gal was a hoot. I laughed my way through the exam if you can imagine that. The funniest part was that my cell phone started ringing just she was about to insert the probe. We both just roared with laughter imagining the kinds of conversation that could take place if I had answered the phone.

(Just a note: It's Friday and I've been pain free for two days. I haven't heard from the doctor either so I'm going to work under the assumption that everything is progressing as it should.)

Wednesday: This morning I actually feel human again. Hopefully this is the beginning of better days to come! If not, a hysterechtomy is looking pretty good right now!

I missed teaching yesterday but I felt good taking care of myself. A good diary buddy suggested the very things I would have told someone else. She was spot on. I'm just not verry good at taking care of myself.

It appears that Ann and Travis are headed for divorce. My heart is aching for them. They just don't seem to be able to figure out how to be together. Ann called last night. They were having a terrible fight. She said that Travis had hit her. She went to Job and Family Services to begin the process of getting assistance and getting out on her own. She's going to stay over there where she has a job and so Travis will still be in the kids' lives. It's just so hard when they ask for advice and help but don't heed any of it. (insert huge helpless feeling sigh)

Beth and Ron, on the other hand, appear to have benefited greatly from their creating some space. It hasn't hurt either that they've discussed what they've seen Ann and Travis going through. So some good is coming out of that after all.

Thursday: I taught class. It felt so good. On the third day of this class I focus on self-defeating behavior, communication, and landing the job (resumes, applications, and interview techniques and skills for the ex-offender). When we were done one of the full time employees of the job store who teaches job readiness/prep skills came and told me that he had overheard the lecture and that I did a good job. That felt good. Sometimes I wonder if I’m on target and his encouragement helped me with that a lot!

Friday: It’s been a busy day. I started out at the factory/packaging program and did a bunch of paperwork. Then I came back to the office to prepare for a meeting our management team was going to have this afternoon to discuss how to rewrite our curriculum. I had some ideas I wanted to get down on paper. Before the meeting we had lunch at a restaurant in a nearby town where we have a jail ministry. I had a wonderful (!!!!) salad. After lunch we went to the town’s brand new library, secured a study room, started creating our curriculum. When we decided on the basic components and direction we agreed that we each need to come up with our design and then we’ll put it all together. I have two weeks to do that. Eek! Part of the urgency in this is that we’re presenting our program to a new county on September 26 in an all day seminar.

This Sunday starts a new quarter in our Sunday School. I was asked to be a part of a team of three to teach our class. I start this Sunday and we’ll rotate through the rest of the quarter. The teacher who just finished ended with a section on how faith isn’t safe. I’m picking up on that this week and using material from Mark Buchanan’s book, “Your God is Too Safe” and tying it in with my piece from a few weeks back, “Autopilot.”

I haven’t completely landed on all the rest of the lessons, but I think I’m doing at least one from Henry Blackaby’s book, “Experiencing God”, one on Life in the Body (drawing on a wonderful story by Bob Benson and Mr. Potato Head), and one on the real meaning of Advent. It should be a very interesting quarter.

Well, I’m done here and need to go work out. Have a great holiday weekend, if you’re in the States, or just a wonderful weekend celebrating the advent of Fall! TTFN “)

Monday, August 27, 2007


It’s like my left ovary is screaming. I don’t hurt anywhere else. I have called the doctor again. Yesterday I was curled up in the fetal position. I was wondering, given the sharpness of the pain if perhaps it wasn’t my ovary, but maybe a kidney stone trying to pass. Advil isn’t touching the pain.

Dr. R just called and I’m going to get the next available ultrasound appointment.

They called back. There’s a cancellation tomorrow afternoon at 2:30. I have to be in Sandusky tomorrow teaching all day. If I don’t take that one I can’t get in until after 9/13. I am sitting here at my desk in tears.

I have never thought of myself as a wuss, but this pain is second worse I’ve ever know. First being childbirth.

I just called off from Curves tonight. The manager was obviously ticked. I’m really sorry. I was filling in for someone who had to go to her daughter’s pre-school open house. The manager has been taking days off right and left. I’m really sorry to inconvenience them, but I can’t stand up. Even if I went in and faked the closing hour, I couldn’t clean the place and that’s really all she wanted me for.

I just talked to Dan. He’s a good boss. He told me to work out the details with Bob (co-worker) to have him cover class in the afternoon. Hopefully Bob will be as understanding.

I’ve tried relaxation breathing. I’ve tried sitting all curled up. No relief. I almost wish I’d had those pain scripts filled now—but who would have thought that three weeks from the surgery I’d be feeling like this.

I know there are so many in real pain, who have suffered long. I feel like such a baby. It’s just that I’ve been fortunate to not have had to endure pain, not like this.

Bob is going to take the whole day of teaching and we worked out plans for if I don’t feel well Wednesday. Bob and John the admin assistant just prayed for me and now I’m going home..

Friday, August 24, 2007


Last night I wanted to write, but it’s hard when you’re doubled over with cramps. Today I’m fine. They seem to be worse in the evening. My family is getting concerned. I’m just tired.

It’s been a rough week. Penelope is in full 3yr mode: cute as a button, ornery as the dickens, stubborn as a mule, smart as a whip, and more opinionated than a sixteen year old! We think it might be better to consider shorter stays. The one nice thing is that she is very well-potty trained. We’ve only had one accident and that was probably my fault for not realizing how late it was when I gave her something to drink before bedtime. Ann and Travis will be here today with Caden for the weekend. “)

Ron moved out this week. I miss having him around, but I know it’s the right thing for their relationship. They needed some space. Hopefully this will help heal things and enable to know if they’re ready to move on in their relationship. It’s just so hard to balance support and opinion.

Nelson may be going to second shift at Rcompany. We’ve had to really talk about how life is going to go if he does. Will I still be able to work at Curves? Hopefully. If Beth can request and secure Tuesday nights off then, it looks like a definite yes. If not, but Beth and Ron stay together, perhaps he’ll be able to work his schedule so he can watch Asher and I’ll be able to work. I had to talk to my boss because I’ll need to be home by 3:30 some days or 4:00 on others. That’s not unreasonable since most days I go in at 6:30. When I go home I’ll have my cell and access to the internet so I can carry on some business. But we’ll just have to wait until Monday to see if the shift will be changed for sure.

Another really neat thing happened for Nelson at work, too. He has worked in home building, remodeling, carpentry, and the like for most of our married life. When he wasn’t doing that he was cooking in a restaurant. So this transition to manufacturing has been different. I thought it would be more challenging for him. He has learned to run at least three different CNC (computer numeric controlled) machines on the fly. Most CNC operators go to school to learn what he has in a short period of time. He’s done well and I’m so very proud of him. Anyway, earlier this week his boss (my old boss who I think the world of) came and told him that he was going to go to Michigan next week with one of the company engineers and the guy responsible for the gages in the plant to learn some new gaging system. They’ll leave on Wednesday morning and return Thursday evening. Did I mention how proud I am of him? “)

Work has been interesting. We had a bomb threat yesterday at the worksite (fortunately I wasn’t there at the time). It was probably called in by a disgruntled employee. We were contacted by two lawyers regarding matters with former employees. Oh, and someone filed an OSHA complaint. It’s never dull with the folks I work with!

I was supposed to lead a workshop for the Huron County Job and Family Services on interview skills. I stopped on my way at the Goodwill to prove a point. While I was there I bought a faux three piece Alfred Dunner suit (pants, and a jacket with a “fake” vest. So many times when I tell people how they should dress for interviews they tell me that they can’t afford it. I bought a name brand, quality, good condition suit for $10. I was excited to include my purchase in my lecture, when I was informed as I arrived that no one had shown for the class. Sigh. I guess I’ll save my notes for another time and just look forward to wearing my new suit! “)

Have a smile filled day! “)

Saturday, August 18, 2007

For Fun

One word. No explanations.
1. Yourself: optimistic
2. Your spouse: blessing
3. Your hair: fine
4. Your mother: fun
5. Your father: gone
6. Your favorite item: computer
7. Your dream last night: unremembered
8. Your favorite drink: icecoffee
9. Your dream car: unpurchasable
10. The room you are in: office
11. Your ex: married
12. Your fear: multiple
13. What you want to be in 10 years: content
14. Who you hung out with last night: grandkids
15. What you're not: disciplined
16. Muffins: mega
17: One of your wish list items: laptop
18: Time: fleeting
19. The last thing you did: played
20. What you are wearing: shorts
21. Your favorite weather: spring
22. Your favorite book: Bible
23. The last thing you ate: pbj
24. Your life: full
25. Your mood: anticipatory
26. Your best friend: troubled
27. What you're thinking about right now: hunger
28. Your car: parked
29. What you are doing at the moment: enjoying
30. Your summer: over
31. Your relationship status: married
32. What is on your TV: cartoons
33. What is the weather like: autumnal
34. When was the last time you laughed: now

Finding My Smile

It's Saturday morning. I'm about to head out to Curves. I've been up for little over a half hour. I slept better last night. It's supposed to be cooler today. I get to spend the day with three of my favorite people, doing something I usually enjoy: shopping. I'm anticipating a rise in the smile factor today!

Nelson was able to get some overtime in today. His machine has been down most of the week so he's been filling in wherever all week and that typically doesn't lead to overtime. The break has been somewhat nice, but we don't want to break the bank either!

It's been stressful here for young Beth and Ron. It's definitely a matter for prayer.

We met Annie halfway last night to make the Penelope swap. Caden was saying "Mema." It just tickled my heart. He's getting so many more words. I won't surprised if doesn't come up with a dozen more this week with big sissy not around to hog all the air space. And Miss P can talk and talk and talk. Lately, she just calls to talk--her mommy and daddy are going to find one heck of a minute plan when she gets older! One night we (I mean she) talked to me for over 25 minutes! The next night she called while I was at work and bent Pepa's ear for 31!! And it's all understandable conversation. And she's so animimated and emphatic. What a joy!!!! It's going to be an interesting week, to say the least.

I went to the doctor yesterday. I almost didn't. I thought my appointment was at 3:00. I couldn't find the card, but in my pea brain I was certain. At 10:15 yesterday morning, Beth calls me at work and tells me that they called from the doctor's office and my appointment had been for 9:00! I was sick. This doctor is wonderful and lots of people see her. Rescheduled appointments can be a month off. I called, ready to beg. The receptionist was so nice. They squeezed me in at 1:30. Thankful barely comes close to describing me! She says I look ok. She says sometimes it goes this way. She says she'll see me in another month. I trust her. I will feel better. I will.

There's a new song being chirped outside my window. It's as if God has hand delivered chipper to me this morning. I think I'll accept it and revel in the gift of this day. Hope you can, too.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Not Chipper

I just read a fav's entry: all her answers were in two word sentences. It's the perfect description of how I feel and why I haven't posted lately.

I feel like crap. I have no energy. I just want to pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep. Sleep, that's where I do my writing. I actually dream about writing posts.

When I had my surgery on the 3rd, I was anticipating pain and bleeding. Pain was so minimal and bleeding was no big deal. Since then I have have had cramps everyday. They're not bad, just there, and I feel bad enough to not feel good. I am so drained and my appetite is out the roof. I don't like this one bit and I want it to be better. Yesterday.

And I'm so irritable I don't like myself--and that doesn't even begin to describe how much other people are getting on my nerves. I like this even less than the pain.

Nothing has happened with the house, except our finances for some reason seem horribly bleak so I can't even imagine putting in a bid. Work has been tedious and frustrating. This is a teaching week for me and I'm not experiencing my usual joy with that. (Insert HUGE tired sigh.)

Highlights: Asher. Just writing his name makes me smile. He's become quite the chatterbox, extremely emphatic with his "words." And I'm quite excited to have Penelope coming for a week to visit! I'll be going to get her tomorrow.

Well, I'm off to Curves. Perhaps I'll be able to shake loose a few dolphins (endorphins) and feel a wee bit better.


Saturday, August 04, 2007


I'm in love.

Nelson and I went and looked at a house today.Here it is:

It is beyond gorgeous. On the first floor there is a living room, formal dining room, butler's pantry, pantry, back porch with laundry, kitchen, another eating area, a parlor, and a half bath. The wood work is phenominal. There are pocket doors all over and the windows and built ins outstanding.

The basement is never ending. It is dry. There are four areas down there.
On the second floor there is a small bedroom, a 3/4 bath (shower only), a master suite (full bath, bedroom with built in book shelves, a sitting room with a fireplace and french doors opening to a balcony over the huge front porch), and two nice bedrooms--all with hardwood floors.

The third floor is finished with two rooms. One was used as a bedroom and has a closet and built in dresser. The other room was a TV room.

There are several flower beds around the house with mature plants and shrubs. The back yard is fenced. There is a three car garage with a second floor the current owners were thinking about turning into an apartment for housing grad students.

From the time the house was built in 1896 until 1997 there were only three owners. It is decorated to period. NONE of the wood work is painted. I could move in today and not do anything to it.

I want it. It means we would have to stay here instead of moving to Arizona. It's the kind of gem you just don't find anymore. Nelson was already talking about how we could go to auctions and fill it. It is what I have always dreamed of.

Darn it all if we didn't just sign a year lease here. We laughed at how Asher could go hide and we might not find him for a few hours. We'd have to get pretty good at "Marco Polo."

We're going to pray about it. God is going to have to make this really clear to us. Nelson said, "What if someone else buys it before we get that clear sign from God?" I told him that would be a really, really clear sign. ")

I would just have to plant some lilacs to make it truly perfect.

Friday, August 03, 2007

I'm Home

And I'm fine. I really think I could have gone back to work and with some of the things going on I think I should have. Sigh.

I walked to the hospital this morning. I would have worked out at Curves, but our town is insane. All summer they have been resurfacing the main streets. It has been a mess. Traffic has been horribly knotted up. Yesterday they started on the main drag where Curves is and I honestly just didn't want to mess with the traffic. So instead of waking Beth up to give me a ride, I let her and Asher sleep and walked. It took me about 20 minutes.

I was whisked straight to out-patient surgery as soon as I was checked in. My nurse was a dear. My sticks went in perfect. My anestesiologist (sp?) was quite nice and spoke really fast. I met briefly with the doc. I really like her. I was rolled over to surgery. The gas doc said to breath deep and the next thing I knew I woke up in recovery. I was there about 20 minutes and moved back to my original room where I immediately needed to pee. I was home before 1:00. On a scale of 1-10 my pain is at a .5 and though I was given perscriptions for 800mg Motrin and Vicadin, I just took an Alieve. Beth assured me that if I wanted some spending money I could sell the Vicadin. I laughed and told her no thanks!!!! We both laughed.

I'm not supposed to drive or shower for 24 hours and have to wait 2 weeks for well, you know, until I see my doc. I can go back to Curves on Monday. My original nurse said that my quick wake up was probably due to be in such good shape. That made me feel good!

So, I'm going to rest for today. An iced coffee sure would be nice!