I was watching ESPN's Sports Center this morning before heading out to work. One of the top plays was something I had never seen before: a guy stole home. I just stood in the living room, my mouth hanging open. It was an awesome play!
Nelson laughed at me a bit because I just kept repeating how amazing I thought it was. That takes a lot of guts to steal home. The pitcher is closer to home plate than the runner. He starts to run and the catcher hops up to let the pitcher know. The throw is close.. The ump in his animated fashion signals the runner safe. The catcher is incensed. The runner trots off to the dugout like it was no big thing. I'm standing in my living room with my mouth hanging open.
It didn't take long for me to start to see multiple spiritual implications to this outstanding baseball feat. Stealing home takes absolute fearlessness. You have to run quick and hard. You have to be ready for a horrible crash with the catcher, which most like result in more than one bruise (or at least it would for me). Isn't this the type of determination that is required to live by faith? John writes that perfect love leaves no room for fear.
I was so moved by this story that I used it in my devotions this morning with the packaging crew. I linked it with Philippians 4:4-9: Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again--rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is near. Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you.
I read those verses and I picture the runner with his head down running full out for home. Every move infused with intensity and determination. There is no hint of fear. There is looking to the left or right. That runner received the instruction from the coach and went for it with his entire being. Can we do any less?
Well, of course we can...and we often do. The almost laughable thing then is that we wonder why we are so easily thrown out of the game. Perhaps it has something to do with our stinkin' thinkin'. Perhaps it has something to do with our enormous worry and need to be in control. Perhaps it something to do with stubborn independent streak that keeps us from bringing our needs to our loving heavenly Father. Simply put, our choices will trip us up as we run the bases of life. The only thing we can control is the way we choose to run.
I'm going flat out. How about you?
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Telling Stories
Coming to love your own life requires you to believe that the past is God's will...ultimately written for both his glory and your participation in his redemption...He uses pain and brokenness, just as he uses shalom. (To Be Told, p. 126)
A good editor draws out what is not said in order to give life to what was aborted before it saw the light of day. We need friends who will name what is unnamed in our story, so that the truth is told. A good editor also helps to ensure that we don't edit out the truth. And a good editor helps us consider the implications of what our story tells us about ourselves. (To Be Told, p. 133)
My story will compel me to plead, shout, and cry at God's injustice, lethargy, and disregard. But in the mddle of my rage, I can't help but wonder at what kind of God would bear my contempt and not retaliate. How could he dure my haggling, let alone alter his plan to coincide with mine? In the face of such inconceivable grace, I can't help but fall at his feet with incredulity. The Almighty, Sovereign, Cator God is also the most humble Being we will ever know. And engaging in naked prayer with our humble God humbles us. But what hubles us most is the enormity of his love for us.
It is in surrendered silence that God speaks love. It is when I have brought to him the shredded strands of my story--when I am ashamed, angry, defiant, and afraid--that he calls me to hear what can be written but can't be explained. He speaks love. (To Be Told, p. 180, 181)
When I think of fasting, I would define it as abstaining from anything that fills the space inside us that God longs to occupy. Any idols can fodder for fasting: TV, e-mail, food. The heart of a fast is stepping back from life as it is and conceiving life as it could be. Heather Webb (To Be Told, p. 183)
I just finished reading Dan Allender's book, "To Be Told." I have quoted it a couple of times in earlier posts. I pulled the book back off my shelf to finish it in an attempt to get back on track with writing my story.
I sat with my fingers poised on the keyboard for several minutes, waiting for something to come out. I listened to my family, playing downstairs with Asher. I heard Nelson talking with Ron about the basketball and baseball game and wanted to rush down and add a tidbit to the conversation that I had heard on ESPN. Beth was trying to fix supper and Asher was growing impatient. I could rush down and rescue her...and him from her wrath. But I glued my butt to the chair. I need to be here.
Telling my story. That reminded me of the early days of June 1989. I had completed an introductory course in CPO (Clinical Pastoral Orientation) at seminary in Kansas City. I loved it. I decided that I needed to go further and applied for the summer CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) unit being offered at the same hospital. I was accepted--chosen. I was really excited.
One of the first things the group of chaplains did was meet at the SIT (supervisor in training) house for a get acquainted session. Our first task was to tell our story, as a way of introducing ourselves and getting our "stuff" out there. In typical Daisymarie fashion: I offered to go first. I told my story chronologically, plodding through the many moves I made during my childhood and early adulthood. I lifted out the salient lessons of each place. I thought I did I okay. Oddly, the group pointed out that there were very few pieces of my childhood and that there was a real disconnection. Later I likened it to beads on a string: they were connected by a thread that was unseen, but separated from each other--barely touching each other.
I listened as the others (there were six of us in the group) told there stories. In my mind I graded them. I felt good about my presentation until the last young woman presented her story. She was a violinist. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do in ministry, wasn't really sure why she was in seminary at all. She was quite thin and petite. She seemed to totally captivate the SIT. I was totally jealous of her ease and grace. She told her story in third person. It was so connected, but somehow separated from her, as if it was something she looked at but not who she was. She held it like a fine porceline doll, that you could admire but never play with for fear of breaking it. I envied her style. I envied her story. I knew we would never be friends. She represented so many things I wanted to be, but knew I couldn't be.
That was my first experience telling my story. Or so I thought. Not long ago, I was going through old files and I found a paper I had written for a college psychology course. It was crude and poorly written, but it was again a retelling my story. I had forgotten all about it. The thing that jumped out at me the most was how much that telling was repeated in the later CPE experience. So in a paper written when I was about 19 I lifted up themes and feelings that were echoed in the story of a a 32 year old. I grieved, and I grieve the wasted opportunity to reflect and grow. I grieved the lost connections.
Now here I sit at 50 and I realize that I'm needing to understand that story. My story needs understood and shared because what I have experienced has a purpose. I need to learn how to tell it, because it is not just my story, but God's story, too.
A good editor draws out what is not said in order to give life to what was aborted before it saw the light of day. We need friends who will name what is unnamed in our story, so that the truth is told. A good editor also helps to ensure that we don't edit out the truth. And a good editor helps us consider the implications of what our story tells us about ourselves. (To Be Told, p. 133)
My story will compel me to plead, shout, and cry at God's injustice, lethargy, and disregard. But in the mddle of my rage, I can't help but wonder at what kind of God would bear my contempt and not retaliate. How could he dure my haggling, let alone alter his plan to coincide with mine? In the face of such inconceivable grace, I can't help but fall at his feet with incredulity. The Almighty, Sovereign, Cator God is also the most humble Being we will ever know. And engaging in naked prayer with our humble God humbles us. But what hubles us most is the enormity of his love for us.
It is in surrendered silence that God speaks love. It is when I have brought to him the shredded strands of my story--when I am ashamed, angry, defiant, and afraid--that he calls me to hear what can be written but can't be explained. He speaks love. (To Be Told, p. 180, 181)
When I think of fasting, I would define it as abstaining from anything that fills the space inside us that God longs to occupy. Any idols can fodder for fasting: TV, e-mail, food. The heart of a fast is stepping back from life as it is and conceiving life as it could be. Heather Webb (To Be Told, p. 183)
I just finished reading Dan Allender's book, "To Be Told." I have quoted it a couple of times in earlier posts. I pulled the book back off my shelf to finish it in an attempt to get back on track with writing my story.
I sat with my fingers poised on the keyboard for several minutes, waiting for something to come out. I listened to my family, playing downstairs with Asher. I heard Nelson talking with Ron about the basketball and baseball game and wanted to rush down and add a tidbit to the conversation that I had heard on ESPN. Beth was trying to fix supper and Asher was growing impatient. I could rush down and rescue her...and him from her wrath. But I glued my butt to the chair. I need to be here.
Telling my story. That reminded me of the early days of June 1989. I had completed an introductory course in CPO (Clinical Pastoral Orientation) at seminary in Kansas City. I loved it. I decided that I needed to go further and applied for the summer CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) unit being offered at the same hospital. I was accepted--chosen. I was really excited.
One of the first things the group of chaplains did was meet at the SIT (supervisor in training) house for a get acquainted session. Our first task was to tell our story, as a way of introducing ourselves and getting our "stuff" out there. In typical Daisymarie fashion: I offered to go first. I told my story chronologically, plodding through the many moves I made during my childhood and early adulthood. I lifted out the salient lessons of each place. I thought I did I okay. Oddly, the group pointed out that there were very few pieces of my childhood and that there was a real disconnection. Later I likened it to beads on a string: they were connected by a thread that was unseen, but separated from each other--barely touching each other.
I listened as the others (there were six of us in the group) told there stories. In my mind I graded them. I felt good about my presentation until the last young woman presented her story. She was a violinist. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do in ministry, wasn't really sure why she was in seminary at all. She was quite thin and petite. She seemed to totally captivate the SIT. I was totally jealous of her ease and grace. She told her story in third person. It was so connected, but somehow separated from her, as if it was something she looked at but not who she was. She held it like a fine porceline doll, that you could admire but never play with for fear of breaking it. I envied her style. I envied her story. I knew we would never be friends. She represented so many things I wanted to be, but knew I couldn't be.
That was my first experience telling my story. Or so I thought. Not long ago, I was going through old files and I found a paper I had written for a college psychology course. It was crude and poorly written, but it was again a retelling my story. I had forgotten all about it. The thing that jumped out at me the most was how much that telling was repeated in the later CPE experience. So in a paper written when I was about 19 I lifted up themes and feelings that were echoed in the story of a a 32 year old. I grieved, and I grieve the wasted opportunity to reflect and grow. I grieved the lost connections.
Now here I sit at 50 and I realize that I'm needing to understand that story. My story needs understood and shared because what I have experienced has a purpose. I need to learn how to tell it, because it is not just my story, but God's story, too.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Write Now
I need to write. I sat in the office today and tried to write and it just didn't work.
RIght now I'm on the porch with my Palm TX and portable keyboard. It is so nice to be outside. My brain feels so much freer than sittng at the desk in the office.
This morning in Sunday School our teacher, one of my favoritest in the universe professors, concluded his series on the great theologians with Henri Nouwen. Wow! I was so moved--tears flowed freely during the closing prayer.
Several things jumped out at me. First, Nouwen wrote at least 40 books. Interestingly, they're all small. If you're unfamiliar with Nouwen, he was a Catholic priest who studied psychology at Menninger in Kansas and was the first to teach abnormal psychology at Notre Dame University. He also taught at Yale and Harvard. He resigned from each position. That in itself is unheard of! He was amazingly learned, degreed, and highly respected, but his books present extremely deep thoughts in ways that the average person can grasp and not in overwhelming volumes or tomes. That spoke volumes to me about some of the "blocks" I've thrown up for writing: I could never write anything substantial (aka long). Nouwen worked from the Greek philosophical principle that big books are boring.
Another thing that moved from the life of Nouwen was the whole "wounded healer" concept. Nouwen was so beloved by his students and friends, but he was extremely wounded and he ministered out of his woundedness. It was his time at Daybreak where he rerally appears to have found his niche. This is something I need to dig more deeply on, especially as it applies to my current ministry setting.
Finally, Dr. Flora brought a copy of Rembrandt's "Return of the Prodigal" and told us about Nouwen's experience in Russia with the painting. I want the book. I want the painting. I want to be able to look so deeply into things. What has kept me from depth? I feel like I have lived my life in the shallow end of the pool. I look at the people that I admire and respect the most and they are the people who think deeply, live deeply, love deeply. Perhaps that is why I am so drawn to people of passioon. But why not me?
At the point when Dr. Flora mentiooned that Nouwen wrote 40 books before he died Nelson leaned over to me and told me I better get started. He really believes that I have something to say. I think I believe it, too. So why don't I?
I tried to blame not writing on not having enough time. Lame. I waste so much time. That's why I came out on the porch to write now. I'm sick of watching TV. I don't want to read more of what other people write--I want to write!
I have tried to usse the excuse that I don't have enough to say. Lamer. I write two devotional guides and a couple blog/journal entries a week. I teach several classes a week. I coach people daily and encourage them in their faith and their work. Nelson would be the first to tell you that I have a lot to say. So why not write it? And I can't hide behind the can't wrrite a big enough book excuse either--say it, say it well, and move on. Big books are good door stops.
I am without excuse. I am also without direction. I am without guidance. Do I need a mentor? Do I need to take a class? Do I just need a swift kick in the seat?
A couple years ago I bought a copy of that year's "Writer's Market Guide." It might even have been a Christian Writers version. At the time I just wanted to try my hand at getting a few of my devotions published. I wonder where that is? I should probably check a more recent copy out of the library.
I need to write. I want to write. At Curves when we're signing up a new member we ask them how long they've been thinking about starting with Curves. Then on their form we write (it's actually part of the script): It's time to stop thinking and get started!
It really is!
RIght now I'm on the porch with my Palm TX and portable keyboard. It is so nice to be outside. My brain feels so much freer than sittng at the desk in the office.
This morning in Sunday School our teacher, one of my favoritest in the universe professors, concluded his series on the great theologians with Henri Nouwen. Wow! I was so moved--tears flowed freely during the closing prayer.
Several things jumped out at me. First, Nouwen wrote at least 40 books. Interestingly, they're all small. If you're unfamiliar with Nouwen, he was a Catholic priest who studied psychology at Menninger in Kansas and was the first to teach abnormal psychology at Notre Dame University. He also taught at Yale and Harvard. He resigned from each position. That in itself is unheard of! He was amazingly learned, degreed, and highly respected, but his books present extremely deep thoughts in ways that the average person can grasp and not in overwhelming volumes or tomes. That spoke volumes to me about some of the "blocks" I've thrown up for writing: I could never write anything substantial (aka long). Nouwen worked from the Greek philosophical principle that big books are boring.
Another thing that moved from the life of Nouwen was the whole "wounded healer" concept. Nouwen was so beloved by his students and friends, but he was extremely wounded and he ministered out of his woundedness. It was his time at Daybreak where he rerally appears to have found his niche. This is something I need to dig more deeply on, especially as it applies to my current ministry setting.
Finally, Dr. Flora brought a copy of Rembrandt's "Return of the Prodigal" and told us about Nouwen's experience in Russia with the painting. I want the book. I want the painting. I want to be able to look so deeply into things. What has kept me from depth? I feel like I have lived my life in the shallow end of the pool. I look at the people that I admire and respect the most and they are the people who think deeply, live deeply, love deeply. Perhaps that is why I am so drawn to people of passioon. But why not me?
At the point when Dr. Flora mentiooned that Nouwen wrote 40 books before he died Nelson leaned over to me and told me I better get started. He really believes that I have something to say. I think I believe it, too. So why don't I?
I tried to blame not writing on not having enough time. Lame. I waste so much time. That's why I came out on the porch to write now. I'm sick of watching TV. I don't want to read more of what other people write--I want to write!
I have tried to usse the excuse that I don't have enough to say. Lamer. I write two devotional guides and a couple blog/journal entries a week. I teach several classes a week. I coach people daily and encourage them in their faith and their work. Nelson would be the first to tell you that I have a lot to say. So why not write it? And I can't hide behind the can't wrrite a big enough book excuse either--say it, say it well, and move on. Big books are good door stops.
I am without excuse. I am also without direction. I am without guidance. Do I need a mentor? Do I need to take a class? Do I just need a swift kick in the seat?
A couple years ago I bought a copy of that year's "Writer's Market Guide." It might even have been a Christian Writers version. At the time I just wanted to try my hand at getting a few of my devotions published. I wonder where that is? I should probably check a more recent copy out of the library.
I need to write. I want to write. At Curves when we're signing up a new member we ask them how long they've been thinking about starting with Curves. Then on their form we write (it's actually part of the script): It's time to stop thinking and get started!
It really is!
Lunch in the Park
I'm just having the absolute best lunch I could imagine. I'm sitting at a picnic table, under a grove of pine trees, beside a lake, with birds singing all around me. Nelson grilled salmon last night and packed some for me for lunch along with a yunmmy salad and white chocolate raspberry flavored light and fit yogurt.
As if the food and surroundings weren't glorious enough to my soul, then I'm able to pull out this handheld and portable keyboard and write down the experience to share. Right now: life is very sweet and good.
Drat...reality just burst in. I had to take my car to get new brakes. Of course it wasn't going to be an inexpensive brake job. No, not for me. I needed new pads and rotors on all four wheels--to the tune of $542. But even that had some goodness.. I called last night and they were able to get me right in this morning and furnished me with a loner car (which I left in Atown with Nelson since today is my out of county travel day). And the car is ready to be picked up.
Meanwhile back to serenity. This park where I'm resting is one I went to often in my youth and then again the first few years of married life.
Reflecting on the fun times spent here, I was reminded of some thoughts I had this morning while driving. I was captured for a moment thinking about age and the passing of time. I"m fifty. I say that often. I wonder if I say it too much? My dad died when he was only 53. I have a whole lot of things I want to do before die. I think it's definitely going to take more than 3 years.
Tonight I'm going to do something responsible, grown up like, if you will. I want to take better care of this body I have. I'm eating better and exercising regularly. I take a good multiple vitamin and extra calcium/vitamin D. I have scheduled an appointment with a OB/GYN for my PAP (which I haven't had since 03). I was going to talk to her about a baseline bone density exam--since my mom has so much trouble and it appears to be something that has touched several women in my family. So what am I doing? I read in the paper that there was a free bone density exam happening at one of the nursing home/retirment communities here in town tonight--so I'm going.
It was terribly hard to leave the tranquility of the park for the sterile, chopped-up confines of cubicle world. But I did it.
(Just a follow up note: My bone density was a -0.02, which is very much in the good range. I'm still going to ask the doc if I need more.)
As if the food and surroundings weren't glorious enough to my soul, then I'm able to pull out this handheld and portable keyboard and write down the experience to share. Right now: life is very sweet and good.
Drat...reality just burst in. I had to take my car to get new brakes. Of course it wasn't going to be an inexpensive brake job. No, not for me. I needed new pads and rotors on all four wheels--to the tune of $542. But even that had some goodness.. I called last night and they were able to get me right in this morning and furnished me with a loner car (which I left in Atown with Nelson since today is my out of county travel day). And the car is ready to be picked up.
Meanwhile back to serenity. This park where I'm resting is one I went to often in my youth and then again the first few years of married life.
Reflecting on the fun times spent here, I was reminded of some thoughts I had this morning while driving. I was captured for a moment thinking about age and the passing of time. I"m fifty. I say that often. I wonder if I say it too much? My dad died when he was only 53. I have a whole lot of things I want to do before die. I think it's definitely going to take more than 3 years.
Tonight I'm going to do something responsible, grown up like, if you will. I want to take better care of this body I have. I'm eating better and exercising regularly. I take a good multiple vitamin and extra calcium/vitamin D. I have scheduled an appointment with a OB/GYN for my PAP (which I haven't had since 03). I was going to talk to her about a baseline bone density exam--since my mom has so much trouble and it appears to be something that has touched several women in my family. So what am I doing? I read in the paper that there was a free bone density exam happening at one of the nursing home/retirment communities here in town tonight--so I'm going.
It was terribly hard to leave the tranquility of the park for the sterile, chopped-up confines of cubicle world. But I did it.
(Just a follow up note: My bone density was a -0.02, which is very much in the good range. I'm still going to ask the doc if I need more.)
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Plug: AKA appeal
How many of you use google or one of the other major search engines on a daily basis? Great!
Here's what I would like to ask you to consider: there is a search engine (powered by google) that makes a donation to non-profit agencies each time it's used. Pretty cool!
The search engine is found at goodsearch.comI would like to ask you to consider putting Transformation Network down as the charity/non-profit that you would like your penny to go to.
We're a great cause, a worthy ministry, and would be deeply appreciative of your gesture.
Thanks.
Here's what I would like to ask you to consider: there is a search engine (powered by google) that makes a donation to non-profit agencies each time it's used. Pretty cool!
The search engine is found at goodsearch.comI would like to ask you to consider putting Transformation Network down as the charity/non-profit that you would like your penny to go to.
We're a great cause, a worthy ministry, and would be deeply appreciative of your gesture.
Thanks.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Monday Drama
I’m starting to not like Monday mornings. That’s not completely true, but lately, or at least the last two Mondays make me wonder what next Monday might hold.
On Friday, one of my work crew members came to me and apologized for not being honest when confronted last Monday. He did, in fact, not start work until 7:00am. He stated that he had been instructed by the Team Production Leader to stick to the story that everyone started at 6:00. I called Dan on Saturday and shared the new information with him. We both felt that we needed to let the Team Leader go.
We are a ministry that majors in second chances. Many people who work for us have messed up, but been given opportunity to keep their job and start over. This situation seemed different. This leader lied, influenced others to lie (coerced is a strong term), and stole from the company. Dan and I both felt that it would confusing for the team to have this person step down to a line crew position. She’s going to start back at our office with the prep classes and maybe we’ll be able to find her something else. We haven’t written her off, we want to help her be successful—we just can’t have her on this job.
The whole thing makes me sad. But that’s not the end of the sadness. I divvied up the leadership positions between three people: production, office, and shipping and receiving. Part of the reason that they supposedly felt the need to lie about their start time was to cover for the S/R TL coming in to work a half hour late. They couldn’t start on time without him there and then covered up his tardiness by fudging the time and leaving an hour early. I had to meet with him and give him a day off without pay. It didn’t make him happy. I have a feeling that he might quit. I’ve already started praying about that one.
It was interesting when we were confronting people about the newly discovered information about the lie and theft. The consistent reason given for “why” was that they didn’t want to “snitch.” Somehow, in their minds it was more important to not be a snitch than it was to be honest and not steal from the company. The trust they felt more loyal to was that of their peers, who would stab them in the back in a heartbeat, over their employer who demonstrates grace upon grace with them. The thinking is mind-boggling.
As we talked about it, we came up with this analogy: they would rather choose a momentary reduction of pain which results in long-term negative over momentary pain and long-term positive. They were so focused on the moment that there was no consideration for the future.
The whole thing just makes me want to go home and make a batch of chocolate chip cookies and devour the batter before it ever leaves the bowl…but know the long-term consequences of that, I think I’ll grab a bottle of water instead.
On Friday, one of my work crew members came to me and apologized for not being honest when confronted last Monday. He did, in fact, not start work until 7:00am. He stated that he had been instructed by the Team Production Leader to stick to the story that everyone started at 6:00. I called Dan on Saturday and shared the new information with him. We both felt that we needed to let the Team Leader go.
We are a ministry that majors in second chances. Many people who work for us have messed up, but been given opportunity to keep their job and start over. This situation seemed different. This leader lied, influenced others to lie (coerced is a strong term), and stole from the company. Dan and I both felt that it would confusing for the team to have this person step down to a line crew position. She’s going to start back at our office with the prep classes and maybe we’ll be able to find her something else. We haven’t written her off, we want to help her be successful—we just can’t have her on this job.
The whole thing makes me sad. But that’s not the end of the sadness. I divvied up the leadership positions between three people: production, office, and shipping and receiving. Part of the reason that they supposedly felt the need to lie about their start time was to cover for the S/R TL coming in to work a half hour late. They couldn’t start on time without him there and then covered up his tardiness by fudging the time and leaving an hour early. I had to meet with him and give him a day off without pay. It didn’t make him happy. I have a feeling that he might quit. I’ve already started praying about that one.
It was interesting when we were confronting people about the newly discovered information about the lie and theft. The consistent reason given for “why” was that they didn’t want to “snitch.” Somehow, in their minds it was more important to not be a snitch than it was to be honest and not steal from the company. The trust they felt more loyal to was that of their peers, who would stab them in the back in a heartbeat, over their employer who demonstrates grace upon grace with them. The thinking is mind-boggling.
As we talked about it, we came up with this analogy: they would rather choose a momentary reduction of pain which results in long-term negative over momentary pain and long-term positive. They were so focused on the moment that there was no consideration for the future.
The whole thing just makes me want to go home and make a batch of chocolate chip cookies and devour the batter before it ever leaves the bowl…but know the long-term consequences of that, I think I’ll grab a bottle of water instead.
Monday, May 14, 2007
What I'm holding on to...
On Sunday night I wrote: Feeling Foolish
It's been a rough weekend for me. It appears that my entire crew decided to decieve me. They all signed in, or had someone sign in for them, saying they worked from 6AM until 2:30PM on Saturday. The problem is that Nelson called me from work at 6:22AM to tell me the air compressor wasn't working. The tow motor wasn't picked up until 7:15AM and one guy signed in at 7, but it was crossed out and 6 was written in instead: in someone else's handwriting. I called one of the guys who worked. He was helping us out. He was hired by the factory last month. I trusted him. I wanted...want to believe he wouldn't lie to me. He says everyone was there at 6 and working.
I called Dan when I started trying to put the pieces together. I was livid. I wanted...want to fire them all. I want to report them all to their probation officers for lying, falsifying records, and stealing from the company. The problem is I can't prove anything. I'm just sick. I have to go in tomorrow morning with a plan. Firing them all is probably not the way to go. Neither is going off half-cocked.
It's Sunday night.I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll go in with no plan and play it by ear. This is probably the worst time for me: I don't want to be me. I don't want to work with these people. I HATE being lied to. I HATE thinking I've been lied to. I HATE looking and feeling this foolish.
I wonder if I could get a job at McDonalds? (Don't worry...I'm not going to quit my job...I"m just ranting a bit tonight so that maybe I'll have a little control tomorrow.)
On Monday I wrote:
I confronted the work crew. I was, of course, completed mistaken. I was, of course, totally in the wrong. Well, except they did sort of own that they didn’t meander into the work place until nearly a quarter past 6. They are not going to be happy with me. I decided that they are not getting paid until 6:30. And if they have a problem with that, I guess they’ll have to figure out what they want to do about it.
Mothers Day was nice. Nelson took me out for dinner at a marvelous restaurant here in town. We ranked the meal up there in our top five of all time eating out experiences. Beth got me a very sweet arrangement of gerbera daisies. Ann called. I spent the day trying to figure out why Asher is all out of sorts. I’ve come to the conclusion that there must be teeth coming in, but I’m not sticking my finger in there to find out. And also, he is learning words. He jabbers non-stop. He thinks he’s saying something and if you don’t get it, he gets extremely frustrated with you. If he spots his jacket, that means he wants to go somewhere NOW! If he brings you his shoes, he wants to go outside---and now is not soon enough and he doesn’t care what time of the day it is or what the temperature is or how tired you might be!
But yesterday he said “mema” twice so it doesn’t matter how fussy he was!
Right now I’m on the phone trying to fix a mess up in an order. It came to the office building and that address is nowhere on the purchase order. I ordered eight rolls of labels and they sent 8 boxes with 4 rolls each. And I ordered ribbons and none of those came. (Picture me shaking my head.) I just got off the phone. They’re still researching the problem. They will get back to me. Meanwhile, I have enough white labels to print on until Jesus comes back—but I won’t be able to because I don’t have the necessary ribbon for the printer. (Insert me, rolling my eyes.)
When I met with the crew this morning, I started off by reading scripture—it was, after all, our devotion time. I read Romans 12:6-18:
6 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. 7 If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. 8 If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.
9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection,[e] and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.[f] 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!
17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
I started my confrontation by saying that I am not like Dan (my boss). He tends to work from a position of non-trust. I work from a position of trust—and this is sometimes to my detriment.
I don’t want to become the kind of person who operates out of distrust or no trust. What ever became of honor? There doesn’t seem to be much loyalty going around either. And that which would present itself most commonly as honor, or loyalty, or trustworthiness, is merely a masquerade for something much more self-serving.
I wear a bracelet that I got when Nelson were on our anniversary weekend getaway. It is inscribed with verses from 1 Corinthians 13: Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
That’s what I chose to hold on to…it’s what’s holding on to me.
It's been a rough weekend for me. It appears that my entire crew decided to decieve me. They all signed in, or had someone sign in for them, saying they worked from 6AM until 2:30PM on Saturday. The problem is that Nelson called me from work at 6:22AM to tell me the air compressor wasn't working. The tow motor wasn't picked up until 7:15AM and one guy signed in at 7, but it was crossed out and 6 was written in instead: in someone else's handwriting. I called one of the guys who worked. He was helping us out. He was hired by the factory last month. I trusted him. I wanted...want to believe he wouldn't lie to me. He says everyone was there at 6 and working.
I called Dan when I started trying to put the pieces together. I was livid. I wanted...want to fire them all. I want to report them all to their probation officers for lying, falsifying records, and stealing from the company. The problem is I can't prove anything. I'm just sick. I have to go in tomorrow morning with a plan. Firing them all is probably not the way to go. Neither is going off half-cocked.
It's Sunday night.I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll go in with no plan and play it by ear. This is probably the worst time for me: I don't want to be me. I don't want to work with these people. I HATE being lied to. I HATE thinking I've been lied to. I HATE looking and feeling this foolish.
I wonder if I could get a job at McDonalds? (Don't worry...I'm not going to quit my job...I"m just ranting a bit tonight so that maybe I'll have a little control tomorrow.)
On Monday I wrote:
I confronted the work crew. I was, of course, completed mistaken. I was, of course, totally in the wrong. Well, except they did sort of own that they didn’t meander into the work place until nearly a quarter past 6. They are not going to be happy with me. I decided that they are not getting paid until 6:30. And if they have a problem with that, I guess they’ll have to figure out what they want to do about it.
Mothers Day was nice. Nelson took me out for dinner at a marvelous restaurant here in town. We ranked the meal up there in our top five of all time eating out experiences. Beth got me a very sweet arrangement of gerbera daisies. Ann called. I spent the day trying to figure out why Asher is all out of sorts. I’ve come to the conclusion that there must be teeth coming in, but I’m not sticking my finger in there to find out. And also, he is learning words. He jabbers non-stop. He thinks he’s saying something and if you don’t get it, he gets extremely frustrated with you. If he spots his jacket, that means he wants to go somewhere NOW! If he brings you his shoes, he wants to go outside---and now is not soon enough and he doesn’t care what time of the day it is or what the temperature is or how tired you might be!
But yesterday he said “mema” twice so it doesn’t matter how fussy he was!
Right now I’m on the phone trying to fix a mess up in an order. It came to the office building and that address is nowhere on the purchase order. I ordered eight rolls of labels and they sent 8 boxes with 4 rolls each. And I ordered ribbons and none of those came. (Picture me shaking my head.) I just got off the phone. They’re still researching the problem. They will get back to me. Meanwhile, I have enough white labels to print on until Jesus comes back—but I won’t be able to because I don’t have the necessary ribbon for the printer. (Insert me, rolling my eyes.)
When I met with the crew this morning, I started off by reading scripture—it was, after all, our devotion time. I read Romans 12:6-18:
6 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. 7 If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. 8 If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.
9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection,[e] and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.[f] 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!
17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
I started my confrontation by saying that I am not like Dan (my boss). He tends to work from a position of non-trust. I work from a position of trust—and this is sometimes to my detriment.
I don’t want to become the kind of person who operates out of distrust or no trust. What ever became of honor? There doesn’t seem to be much loyalty going around either. And that which would present itself most commonly as honor, or loyalty, or trustworthiness, is merely a masquerade for something much more self-serving.
I wear a bracelet that I got when Nelson were on our anniversary weekend getaway. It is inscribed with verses from 1 Corinthians 13: Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
That’s what I chose to hold on to…it’s what’s holding on to me.
Friday, May 04, 2007
TGIF or TTFN
It’s Friday. And right now I have about 40 things I should be doing. Ok, maybe half that many—but I shouldn’t be writing this. Funny, I typically can find scads of things to keep me from writing anything of importance, but I then choose to resort to writing to avoid doing what I should…oh the irony of it all!
This has been a rich week. I taught our WINGS class in E County. It was a lot of fun. The participants were getting it. They were putting things together left and right. I love that. Some groups never quite get what we are offering them and it’s an agonizing time trying to teach. It’s as if my words hit the wall they have up and just slide off. (Sigh) Fortunately, that was not the case this week. I was so energized yesterday that I had to remind myself to keep an eye on the clock so we didn’t run over.
One of the coolest things that someone said as they were leaving the class was: You sure keep things interesting. In my opinion, there is nothing worse (in the field of information transmission) than poorly presented material. You can be brilliant but not be able to disseminate information through the means of public speaking—then write and have a good editor! Teachers or preachers, who are boring, lack any interest in being interesting, need to find another profession.
I have realized over the years that I have a scoonch of ADD. As a result, I get bored easily, and that’s probably a gross understatement. I determined that I would never be a boring teacher or preacher. So far, I think I’m living up to that goal.
So from the great to the painfully good: Annie and the kids are moving home tomorrow. I know it’s the right thing. I know it’s a good thing. I know that it’s best for the kids. I know that there will be difficult days that we will walk through with them in the future. I’m not sad about them moving home. I’m just aching because they’re leaving—again.
I love coming home from work and being greeted by Penelope’s exuberant: Mema’s home!!! I will miss that more than I know how to even begin to put into words.
I will not miss Destructo Boy—but I’m going to miss the cherub grin and willing kisses from Caden.
I won’t miss the unneeded baked goods that Annie makes when she gets stressed, but I will miss our talks and time together. She truly has become a friend. Can you ask more from your daughter?
Oh, great…now I’m at work…should be working…and instead I’m all teary and sniffy. Better quit this for now and try and look productive. TTFN.
This has been a rich week. I taught our WINGS class in E County. It was a lot of fun. The participants were getting it. They were putting things together left and right. I love that. Some groups never quite get what we are offering them and it’s an agonizing time trying to teach. It’s as if my words hit the wall they have up and just slide off. (Sigh) Fortunately, that was not the case this week. I was so energized yesterday that I had to remind myself to keep an eye on the clock so we didn’t run over.
One of the coolest things that someone said as they were leaving the class was: You sure keep things interesting. In my opinion, there is nothing worse (in the field of information transmission) than poorly presented material. You can be brilliant but not be able to disseminate information through the means of public speaking—then write and have a good editor! Teachers or preachers, who are boring, lack any interest in being interesting, need to find another profession.
I have realized over the years that I have a scoonch of ADD. As a result, I get bored easily, and that’s probably a gross understatement. I determined that I would never be a boring teacher or preacher. So far, I think I’m living up to that goal.
So from the great to the painfully good: Annie and the kids are moving home tomorrow. I know it’s the right thing. I know it’s a good thing. I know that it’s best for the kids. I know that there will be difficult days that we will walk through with them in the future. I’m not sad about them moving home. I’m just aching because they’re leaving—again.
I love coming home from work and being greeted by Penelope’s exuberant: Mema’s home!!! I will miss that more than I know how to even begin to put into words.
I will not miss Destructo Boy—but I’m going to miss the cherub grin and willing kisses from Caden.
I won’t miss the unneeded baked goods that Annie makes when she gets stressed, but I will miss our talks and time together. She truly has become a friend. Can you ask more from your daughter?
Oh, great…now I’m at work…should be working…and instead I’m all teary and sniffy. Better quit this for now and try and look productive. TTFN.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Heaven Too
The seminar went well. Seven counties were represented in the audience. We used power point. It was the first time I ever did that. I wish we had some sort of traveling clicker so that we didn't have to stand at the podium with the computer and use the mouse. I'll get better. I told Dan that I need to take like a three day retreat to just go and play...I mean learn how to create my own power point.
I was really drained when the seminar was over. I spent the first half presenting with my coworkers. In the second half, I was part of the panel that was comprised of "graduates" of the program. We presented our perspective alongside Mr. R who spoke from the perspective of a business owner who had been willing to work with felons. The second part was more difficult: owning my own ex-offender status. It went well. We received many positive comments on our evaluation forms. One of the counties represented asked us to come and make the same presentation to their Job and Family Service people.
Today I wrote the following devotional for our church's web devotional journal:
Transformational Journal Devotions: 1 Peter 1:3-9
Monday: vs. 3-4
In one of the churches where I served as an associate, the pastor’s wife often used a phrase that reminds me of this passage. When life got sticky or icky she could be heard reminding herself: "all this and heaven, too!" Occasionally there was a note of sarcasm in her voice, but we all knew that she said it to remind herself that whatever she was facing was not the end, as a believer, she had her heart set on heaven. It makes me sad that there seems to a languishing hunger for heaven. We live in such an instant age. People don’t save like they used to. It’s all about living in the now. It’s pretty well summed up in a bumper sticker I saw not long ago: I’m spending my children’s inheritance. As Christ followers, our priceless inheritance is kept for us in heaven "beyond the reach of change or decay." And like my pastor’s wife, I’m looking forward to the day when I receive that treasure. It’s so much more than this world around us—there really is heaven, too!
Prompts:
-Have you been living for an earthly or heavenly inheritance?
-Write about your understanding or feelings toward heaven.
-Write a prayer asking God to give you His understanding of heaven
Tonight I got a phone call from a family friend. The pastor's wife I mentioned in the devotional died Wednesday morning. She now has her "heaven, too!"
Then just a few minutes ago I got a call on my cell. Odd for this time on a Friday. I knew that one of the guys in our Ntown work program didn't work today, but I didn't know why until I got the call. It was from his sister. She had taken him to the ER last night. He has pnuemonia and they found a mass in his lung. They also think that his leukemia has returned.
I'm feeling somewhere between sad and numb. I've just been on the edge of tears since I got done with the seminar. Perhaps a good cup of tea is in order.
I was really drained when the seminar was over. I spent the first half presenting with my coworkers. In the second half, I was part of the panel that was comprised of "graduates" of the program. We presented our perspective alongside Mr. R who spoke from the perspective of a business owner who had been willing to work with felons. The second part was more difficult: owning my own ex-offender status. It went well. We received many positive comments on our evaluation forms. One of the counties represented asked us to come and make the same presentation to their Job and Family Service people.
Today I wrote the following devotional for our church's web devotional journal:
Transformational Journal Devotions: 1 Peter 1:3-9
Monday: vs. 3-4
In one of the churches where I served as an associate, the pastor’s wife often used a phrase that reminds me of this passage. When life got sticky or icky she could be heard reminding herself: "all this and heaven, too!" Occasionally there was a note of sarcasm in her voice, but we all knew that she said it to remind herself that whatever she was facing was not the end, as a believer, she had her heart set on heaven. It makes me sad that there seems to a languishing hunger for heaven. We live in such an instant age. People don’t save like they used to. It’s all about living in the now. It’s pretty well summed up in a bumper sticker I saw not long ago: I’m spending my children’s inheritance. As Christ followers, our priceless inheritance is kept for us in heaven "beyond the reach of change or decay." And like my pastor’s wife, I’m looking forward to the day when I receive that treasure. It’s so much more than this world around us—there really is heaven, too!
Prompts:
-Have you been living for an earthly or heavenly inheritance?
-Write about your understanding or feelings toward heaven.
-Write a prayer asking God to give you His understanding of heaven
Tonight I got a phone call from a family friend. The pastor's wife I mentioned in the devotional died Wednesday morning. She now has her "heaven, too!"
Then just a few minutes ago I got a call on my cell. Odd for this time on a Friday. I knew that one of the guys in our Ntown work program didn't work today, but I didn't know why until I got the call. It was from his sister. She had taken him to the ER last night. He has pnuemonia and they found a mass in his lung. They also think that his leukemia has returned.
I'm feeling somewhere between sad and numb. I've just been on the edge of tears since I got done with the seminar. Perhaps a good cup of tea is in order.
Driving Thoughts
I was thinking while I was driving yesterday. I like driving for that very reason. I like getting with my thoughts. It’s a good time to pray and sing and think.
Tomorrow is our big seminar: Breaking the Barriers. You can find info about it on web page (www.transformationnetwork.org). I just clicked over to check it out. I had to smile at the pics of me. In 7 to 10 business days, I’m going to look a bit different. Today I had an appointment to get my eyes checked. I need stronger glasses. I picked out new frames.
There was a health fair going on at the medical building. In the vision center they were have a “trunk sale.” They had two reps there displaying their wares. I tried on one of the pairs. They’re burgundy in color with a little “bling” on the ear pieces. They’re also different shaped. The lenses on the new glasses are smaller and more oval shaped. I really like them and the staff all thought they made look younger. I think they were interested because they wanted to make a sale. They decided my current glasses make me look older and something about a droop. I bought it…and them!
While I was driving I was thinking about my work. Somehow while also thinking about the seminar, my mind drifted to what I would say if I could go back and talk to the agency I had worked at. The kids we worked with there were always in trouble with the law. It wasn’t hard to imagine many of them ending up in my current workplace: unemployed due to felony convictions, needing help changing their minds and behaviors so that they could become contributing members of society. So, what would I say to that other agency? Fix them now!
I know it’s not that easy. And in some cases I don’t if it is possible. As I work with this portion of the population, I am truly beginning to understand generational strongholds. I talk with participants both here at the home base and in the outlying counties who describe how their parents and grandparents have had troubles with the law. Now, this isn’t true for everyone, but the percentage is high enough that it warrants attention.
We were having a meeting with a potential participant. Her pastor had brought her to meet with us. One comment that he made really stood out to me. In a very encouraging tone, he told her that he thought she had the best chance in her family to break the cycle of addiction. His words appear to have fallen way short of their mark. It’s been a week and she hasn’t been back.
Where does resiliency come from? Why is it some people can face adversities and atrocities beyond description and come out on top—land on their feet, while others are left with only bitterness and brokenness?
These are the question I live with daily….more later.
Tomorrow is our big seminar: Breaking the Barriers. You can find info about it on web page (www.transformationnetwork.org). I just clicked over to check it out. I had to smile at the pics of me. In 7 to 10 business days, I’m going to look a bit different. Today I had an appointment to get my eyes checked. I need stronger glasses. I picked out new frames.
There was a health fair going on at the medical building. In the vision center they were have a “trunk sale.” They had two reps there displaying their wares. I tried on one of the pairs. They’re burgundy in color with a little “bling” on the ear pieces. They’re also different shaped. The lenses on the new glasses are smaller and more oval shaped. I really like them and the staff all thought they made look younger. I think they were interested because they wanted to make a sale. They decided my current glasses make me look older and something about a droop. I bought it…and them!
While I was driving I was thinking about my work. Somehow while also thinking about the seminar, my mind drifted to what I would say if I could go back and talk to the agency I had worked at. The kids we worked with there were always in trouble with the law. It wasn’t hard to imagine many of them ending up in my current workplace: unemployed due to felony convictions, needing help changing their minds and behaviors so that they could become contributing members of society. So, what would I say to that other agency? Fix them now!
I know it’s not that easy. And in some cases I don’t if it is possible. As I work with this portion of the population, I am truly beginning to understand generational strongholds. I talk with participants both here at the home base and in the outlying counties who describe how their parents and grandparents have had troubles with the law. Now, this isn’t true for everyone, but the percentage is high enough that it warrants attention.
We were having a meeting with a potential participant. Her pastor had brought her to meet with us. One comment that he made really stood out to me. In a very encouraging tone, he told her that he thought she had the best chance in her family to break the cycle of addiction. His words appear to have fallen way short of their mark. It’s been a week and she hasn’t been back.
Where does resiliency come from? Why is it some people can face adversities and atrocities beyond description and come out on top—land on their feet, while others are left with only bitterness and brokenness?
These are the question I live with daily….more later.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Where did the week go?
It’s Wednesday morning. I can’t believe I haven’t posted for a week. Yes, I can. (Imagine me sighing and my shoulders drooping a bit.)
It’s been a long week. I worked in the factory every day but Wednesday last week. I didn’t do much manual labor—I spent my time catching up on paperwork. Cleaning up messes. Putting out relational fires.
Then on the weekend, when I might have caught a breather: Nelson and Asher get sick. Nelson went to bed at 5:30 on Saturday evening and slept through until nearly 3:00 on Sunday. He went to work on Monday, but didn’t start feeling human until yesterday. Asher, we found out yesterday when he went to get his next round of shots, has the roto virus. He was puking and having soupy poops all weekend. One exploded out his diaper, down my leg, plopped on my foot, and sprayed the walls around us. (Graphic enough picture? I’m tired of suffering alone. Lol)
To add to my exhaustion, I’m working every night this week at Curves. Then on Friday we are hosting a seminar about the reentry ministry we offer in the three counties we work in to the fifteen counties in our parole region. Oh, and wait! One of those three counties is auditing my files today. Oh and add to that, the parent company we have our packaging program with is going on a shut down so all the work had to be packaged or sent back to them and now my workers are facing several days of no work. And, we still haggling to be able to rent the new space so that the move is hanging over my head.
I didn’t want to get out of bed today. It’s my travel day. And it’s supposed to rain all day. Did I mention that I’m under a little stress and a rainy day would be perfect for staying in my jimmies, sipping tea, and being totally irresponsible.
I just don’t know how to do that. (Insert another deep sigh) I need to change my focus. Something positive and fun?
I got my Palm TX! It’s quite cool and I’m starting to figure it out. I’m frustrated because I can’t figure out how to get the status bar back at the bottom. It’s there just not showing. The keyboard that came with it is great. It has Bluetooth and WiFi capabilities. And I’ve already loaded scrabble on to it! Now, there’s a stress reliever!
Ann and Travis have worked things to the point where they want to have her and the kids move home. She gave us her two week notice. I’m going to miss her and the kids, but I so know that this is for the best. They’ll keep working and we’ll keep praying.
Beth and Ron are talking about eloping. I’m still getting used to the idea. They’ve mentioned several places, but have talked wanting to be married on the beach somewhere, possibly in Florida or San Diego. We’ll see as it all unfolds.
Nelson and I are back on track with our eating. Poor choices (aka Easter candy and other extremely high carb junk) and lack of portion control had crept back into our habits. We’re back to writing everything down and keeping totals. I’ve also stepped up my workout at Curves. I was excited this morning that I was able to fit into two skirts that had been tight just last week! I want to lose at least 15 pounds before I go to Mom’s in June.
Well, it’s now time to walk out the door. Ah, for the final blessing: there are a scazillion lilac buds on my bush! And that reminds me that God is still in control—and no matter what comes my way, if I keep hold of that: I can face anything!
It’s been a long week. I worked in the factory every day but Wednesday last week. I didn’t do much manual labor—I spent my time catching up on paperwork. Cleaning up messes. Putting out relational fires.
Then on the weekend, when I might have caught a breather: Nelson and Asher get sick. Nelson went to bed at 5:30 on Saturday evening and slept through until nearly 3:00 on Sunday. He went to work on Monday, but didn’t start feeling human until yesterday. Asher, we found out yesterday when he went to get his next round of shots, has the roto virus. He was puking and having soupy poops all weekend. One exploded out his diaper, down my leg, plopped on my foot, and sprayed the walls around us. (Graphic enough picture? I’m tired of suffering alone. Lol)
To add to my exhaustion, I’m working every night this week at Curves. Then on Friday we are hosting a seminar about the reentry ministry we offer in the three counties we work in to the fifteen counties in our parole region. Oh, and wait! One of those three counties is auditing my files today. Oh and add to that, the parent company we have our packaging program with is going on a shut down so all the work had to be packaged or sent back to them and now my workers are facing several days of no work. And, we still haggling to be able to rent the new space so that the move is hanging over my head.
I didn’t want to get out of bed today. It’s my travel day. And it’s supposed to rain all day. Did I mention that I’m under a little stress and a rainy day would be perfect for staying in my jimmies, sipping tea, and being totally irresponsible.
I just don’t know how to do that. (Insert another deep sigh) I need to change my focus. Something positive and fun?
I got my Palm TX! It’s quite cool and I’m starting to figure it out. I’m frustrated because I can’t figure out how to get the status bar back at the bottom. It’s there just not showing. The keyboard that came with it is great. It has Bluetooth and WiFi capabilities. And I’ve already loaded scrabble on to it! Now, there’s a stress reliever!
Ann and Travis have worked things to the point where they want to have her and the kids move home. She gave us her two week notice. I’m going to miss her and the kids, but I so know that this is for the best. They’ll keep working and we’ll keep praying.
Beth and Ron are talking about eloping. I’m still getting used to the idea. They’ve mentioned several places, but have talked wanting to be married on the beach somewhere, possibly in Florida or San Diego. We’ll see as it all unfolds.
Nelson and I are back on track with our eating. Poor choices (aka Easter candy and other extremely high carb junk) and lack of portion control had crept back into our habits. We’re back to writing everything down and keeping totals. I’ve also stepped up my workout at Curves. I was excited this morning that I was able to fit into two skirts that had been tight just last week! I want to lose at least 15 pounds before I go to Mom’s in June.
Well, it’s now time to walk out the door. Ah, for the final blessing: there are a scazillion lilac buds on my bush! And that reminds me that God is still in control—and no matter what comes my way, if I keep hold of that: I can face anything!
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Nothing profound
Here's how my week went...
It's April 14th. And I don't want to look out the window. It''s snowing and sticking. Sigh. I'm really afraid that there will be no lilacs this spring...I'm not even sure if there'll be a spring...double sigh. The leaves that had sprouted on the lilac have turned black from the cold. The forcast doesn't look very good for most of the week either. Guess I'll just go buy a lilac candle and dream.
It was a very busy week. On Monday I worked half day at the factory--in the morning. I wore my flashing 50 button. Nelson and the girls conspired to put one of those birthday ads in the paper. So there at the bottom of the first page of the classifieds was a picture of me from my first Christmas. I'm hairless but quite adorable. I think everyone in town saw it. It's okay. The surprise and all it took to pull it off just makes me know I'm loved and makes me know how much I love this incredible crew of mine!
Tuesday and Thursday I taught our WINGS class in Ntown. There were only 4 participants--should/could have been about 15. It was a good class. This time we switched from 9-3 to 9-4. It's amazing how much longer the day seemed even though it was only one hour longer. Wednesday I did my regular thing of meeting with participants for follow-up or orientation in Ntown and Stown. Come Friday, my throat was sore from all the speaking and my feet hurt from wearing heels. But it was a good kind of tired that I don't want to trade! (Insert contented smile!)
Today, Annie and I went shopping after we worked out at Curves. We started with lunch at O'Charleys. I had never eaten there. We decided to have a bowl of soup and split a salad. It was a very good idea. The soup was quite yummy--we each got a different kind and tasted each others. I got the loaded potato and she got the chicken tortilla. Good stuff. We both were happy with the split salad, especially when as we were about to leave the lady at a nearby table had a whole salad delivered to her. It was mamoth!!!! We were laughing about it all the way out of the restaurant!
Then we went and spent some of my birthday gift cards. We stopped first at Barnes and Nobels where I got two books. Then it was over to the mall where I actually bought jammies and underwear at Victoria Secret. The jammy pants are so incredibly soft. When we were done there it was right off to Bath and Body where after some careful deliberation I spent my card on two flavors of shower gel (wild cherry blossom and perfect peach) and a couple of purse size hand creams (sweet pea and lime coconut). My nose is still recovering from all the sniffing and sampling!
Our final stop was at a local coffee house where we indulged in a couple of frothy coffees. Mmmm! Nelson is off doing the grocery shopping. And Asher just woke from his nap. Guess I'm all done writing for now!
I'll write more later about the books...on is called "The Velveteen Principles" and the other is something like "The 5 Things You Can't Change in Life." It's about accepting the things we can't change and chosing to learn to live with them rather than against them. I'll get the exact title and premise/description later.
TTFN
It's April 14th. And I don't want to look out the window. It''s snowing and sticking. Sigh. I'm really afraid that there will be no lilacs this spring...I'm not even sure if there'll be a spring...double sigh. The leaves that had sprouted on the lilac have turned black from the cold. The forcast doesn't look very good for most of the week either. Guess I'll just go buy a lilac candle and dream.
It was a very busy week. On Monday I worked half day at the factory--in the morning. I wore my flashing 50 button. Nelson and the girls conspired to put one of those birthday ads in the paper. So there at the bottom of the first page of the classifieds was a picture of me from my first Christmas. I'm hairless but quite adorable. I think everyone in town saw it. It's okay. The surprise and all it took to pull it off just makes me know I'm loved and makes me know how much I love this incredible crew of mine!
Tuesday and Thursday I taught our WINGS class in Ntown. There were only 4 participants--should/could have been about 15. It was a good class. This time we switched from 9-3 to 9-4. It's amazing how much longer the day seemed even though it was only one hour longer. Wednesday I did my regular thing of meeting with participants for follow-up or orientation in Ntown and Stown. Come Friday, my throat was sore from all the speaking and my feet hurt from wearing heels. But it was a good kind of tired that I don't want to trade! (Insert contented smile!)
Today, Annie and I went shopping after we worked out at Curves. We started with lunch at O'Charleys. I had never eaten there. We decided to have a bowl of soup and split a salad. It was a very good idea. The soup was quite yummy--we each got a different kind and tasted each others. I got the loaded potato and she got the chicken tortilla. Good stuff. We both were happy with the split salad, especially when as we were about to leave the lady at a nearby table had a whole salad delivered to her. It was mamoth!!!! We were laughing about it all the way out of the restaurant!
Then we went and spent some of my birthday gift cards. We stopped first at Barnes and Nobels where I got two books. Then it was over to the mall where I actually bought jammies and underwear at Victoria Secret. The jammy pants are so incredibly soft. When we were done there it was right off to Bath and Body where after some careful deliberation I spent my card on two flavors of shower gel (wild cherry blossom and perfect peach) and a couple of purse size hand creams (sweet pea and lime coconut). My nose is still recovering from all the sniffing and sampling!
Our final stop was at a local coffee house where we indulged in a couple of frothy coffees. Mmmm! Nelson is off doing the grocery shopping. And Asher just woke from his nap. Guess I'm all done writing for now!
I'll write more later about the books...on is called "The Velveteen Principles" and the other is something like "The 5 Things You Can't Change in Life." It's about accepting the things we can't change and chosing to learn to live with them rather than against them. I'll get the exact title and premise/description later.
TTFN
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Party Central
I’ve had a wonderful day.
This morning I worked at Curves. Ann came in and worked out at the end of the day and then helped me clean so that I could get out of there since Nelson was taking me out for lunch for my birthday in Mtown. He had said something about going to Ruby Tuesday’s, but on the way I suggested Chipotle instead, which was fine by him!
We got to Chipotle and ordered our food. The meat that Nelson wanted for his burrito was still cooking and we waited quite a bit. When we went to pay, they told us our meal was comped! That’s the second time we’ve eaten there and the second time that our meal was free. I really like that place.
Then we went to Barnes and Nobles for a yummy coffee, a cookie and some brief browsing. We then went to Toys R Us. We were looking for a swing set for the grandbabies. The one we wanted was of course out of stock. We waited at the register for quite a while. Then the manager came and told us that they had one of last year’s models in a bunged up box that he would be willing to give us for $100—a $30 discount. Sold! We then went a couple places looking for Palm TX. They had one at Best Buy, but we decided to try and get it for less on Ebay.
When we got home, we came in the back door—nothing different about that. I noticed that there was a lot of food out in the kitchen, but didn’t think anything about it until I spied my dearest friend’s face looking back at me from the living room.
My family had worked together to create a wonderful birthday party surprise for me! It was Beth’s idea and she and Ann worked amazingly to make such a special time for me! Friends from Urbana (Karen and Joe) drove up with their three youngest kids. My sis was there with her two boys. My boss and co-workers were there from the T-Net. My manager and the club owner were there from Curves. My in-laws even showed up. Ann and Travis and Beth and Ron and all the grandbabies. We ran out of chairs!
I had asked for strawberry shortcake and there was an abundance. There was also some of Sis’ fruit and fruit dip. It was wonderful. The girls had decorated the place and there was a huge balloon that sang happy birthday (to the tune of the Hallelujah Chorus) when you tap it.
While I was enjoying visiting with all our guests the phone rang several times. Nelson had arranged for several friends to call through the course of the party. My friend Laurie called from West Liberty. My mom called and sang happy birthday. My SIL called. Rhonda called—she was unable to attend because she’s been feeling sick.
Two calls were especially sweet to receive. Nelson contacted a very dear friend who I had lost contact with. He actually paid for one of those online services to hunt her down. It was so neat to talk to her. Then a friend and his wife called and sang happy birthday. I didn’t recognize the voice at first, but when I did—well, it was just quite a blessing.
I received several humorous cards—hip, hip, hip replacement! I also got several gift cards (I love Barnes and Nobles). I also got a console table for the entry way! I’m sure there will be more surprises and each one will make me smile even more.
And just think my birthday isn’t until Monday!!!
This morning I worked at Curves. Ann came in and worked out at the end of the day and then helped me clean so that I could get out of there since Nelson was taking me out for lunch for my birthday in Mtown. He had said something about going to Ruby Tuesday’s, but on the way I suggested Chipotle instead, which was fine by him!
We got to Chipotle and ordered our food. The meat that Nelson wanted for his burrito was still cooking and we waited quite a bit. When we went to pay, they told us our meal was comped! That’s the second time we’ve eaten there and the second time that our meal was free. I really like that place.
Then we went to Barnes and Nobles for a yummy coffee, a cookie and some brief browsing. We then went to Toys R Us. We were looking for a swing set for the grandbabies. The one we wanted was of course out of stock. We waited at the register for quite a while. Then the manager came and told us that they had one of last year’s models in a bunged up box that he would be willing to give us for $100—a $30 discount. Sold! We then went a couple places looking for Palm TX. They had one at Best Buy, but we decided to try and get it for less on Ebay.
When we got home, we came in the back door—nothing different about that. I noticed that there was a lot of food out in the kitchen, but didn’t think anything about it until I spied my dearest friend’s face looking back at me from the living room.
My family had worked together to create a wonderful birthday party surprise for me! It was Beth’s idea and she and Ann worked amazingly to make such a special time for me! Friends from Urbana (Karen and Joe) drove up with their three youngest kids. My sis was there with her two boys. My boss and co-workers were there from the T-Net. My manager and the club owner were there from Curves. My in-laws even showed up. Ann and Travis and Beth and Ron and all the grandbabies. We ran out of chairs!
I had asked for strawberry shortcake and there was an abundance. There was also some of Sis’ fruit and fruit dip. It was wonderful. The girls had decorated the place and there was a huge balloon that sang happy birthday (to the tune of the Hallelujah Chorus) when you tap it.
While I was enjoying visiting with all our guests the phone rang several times. Nelson had arranged for several friends to call through the course of the party. My friend Laurie called from West Liberty. My mom called and sang happy birthday. My SIL called. Rhonda called—she was unable to attend because she’s been feeling sick.
Two calls were especially sweet to receive. Nelson contacted a very dear friend who I had lost contact with. He actually paid for one of those online services to hunt her down. It was so neat to talk to her. Then a friend and his wife called and sang happy birthday. I didn’t recognize the voice at first, but when I did—well, it was just quite a blessing.
I received several humorous cards—hip, hip, hip replacement! I also got several gift cards (I love Barnes and Nobles). I also got a console table for the entry way! I’m sure there will be more surprises and each one will make me smile even more.
And just think my birthday isn’t until Monday!!!
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Clean
Scrubbed floors and scum free bathroom.
I hate to clean--but I like things clean. And I like the clean smell when I'm all done.
While I was on my knees wiping up baby spills, I began to think...Isn't amazing how God can get your attention then?
There are other things that I hate the work or process of, but absolutely love and want the results: study, exercised, diet, and work.
All through my Christian walk I have been captivated by the verses that instruct the believer to make every effort. It really is all about the process, about the journey. End results, those things we work for (like paychecks) aren't really the end. They're just the step to the next step.
So I'll keep on walking, and cleaning (guess that means I should grouse so with each mess) because I know it's all moving me that much closer to the real end--Heaven. I wonder if anyone cleans the bathroom there?
I hate to clean--but I like things clean. And I like the clean smell when I'm all done.
While I was on my knees wiping up baby spills, I began to think...Isn't amazing how God can get your attention then?
There are other things that I hate the work or process of, but absolutely love and want the results: study, exercised, diet, and work.
All through my Christian walk I have been captivated by the verses that instruct the believer to make every effort. It really is all about the process, about the journey. End results, those things we work for (like paychecks) aren't really the end. They're just the step to the next step.
So I'll keep on walking, and cleaning (guess that means I should grouse so with each mess) because I know it's all moving me that much closer to the real end--Heaven. I wonder if anyone cleans the bathroom there?
Friday, March 30, 2007
Time for New Growth
I did not quit my job.
I did finally get to meet with my boss today. It went ok.
I need to work on rebuilding his trust in me. One of the ways I've been doing that in the past couple days is cc every email/correspondance to him so he knows exactly how I'm operating. I already keep a detailed phone log and time sheet breaking out my time spent on each contract. In our meeting he said I needed to walk that difficult line for rebuilding trust without innundating him with information he doesn't need. I'll have to work on that.
We also talked about how I tend to get defensive in meetings when my work is being questioned. I know that I tend to take things way too personally and I need to work on this issue so that my co-workers don't have to fear my "mood" when they need to confront me.
Guess I just need to revisit and fine tune all my issues. Sigh.
I
t's quite beautiful out today...and just now I looked out the offict window (which is on the second floor of the house) and I spied flowers (magnolias, I think) on the neighbor's tree just across the ally from me. I just love spring!
Tonight I'm reveling in some quiet. Ann, Penelope, and Caden are back home for a visit. Beth is working. And Nelson is out grocery gathering. Asher is down for a nap. Until he wakes up, I'm just going to stroll through some blogs/diaries, or maybe play some scrabble. It's just such a sweet sort of silence.
I wrote the following for a prayer blog I'm a part of:
Tuesday night I was in the yard with the grandbabies. A bird flew into the top of the big old tree. Penelope (cutest 3 yr old on the planet) stood at the base of the tree and jumped (a flat-footed 3 yr old kind of jump)--several times. Finally she looked over at me, where I was desperately trying not to laugh at her efforts, and she said, "I guess I'm not big enough, Mema."
Then it was as if a lightbulb went off, and she ran for the house. Moments later she emerged with her little step. She set it at the base of the tree, climbed aboard, and proceeded to try jumping again. Her face quickly displayed her frustration. Until another bulb lit up: You help me, Mema?
And I could help but picture myself jumping awkwardly at life's issues--trying to tackle problems not meant to be tackled. It reminded me of Peter trying to walk on the water. Jesus didn't invite Peter. It was Peter who asked to try something he wasn't created for. Jesus allowed it and scooped him up--lovingly...knowingly.
God grant me clearer vision of what my tasks are for this day. Help me not to waste energy jumping after things that you don't need me to do. Grant us each that assurance of your love. And we will be thankful.
I did finally get to meet with my boss today. It went ok.
I need to work on rebuilding his trust in me. One of the ways I've been doing that in the past couple days is cc every email/correspondance to him so he knows exactly how I'm operating. I already keep a detailed phone log and time sheet breaking out my time spent on each contract. In our meeting he said I needed to walk that difficult line for rebuilding trust without innundating him with information he doesn't need. I'll have to work on that.
We also talked about how I tend to get defensive in meetings when my work is being questioned. I know that I tend to take things way too personally and I need to work on this issue so that my co-workers don't have to fear my "mood" when they need to confront me.
Guess I just need to revisit and fine tune all my issues. Sigh.
I
t's quite beautiful out today...and just now I looked out the offict window (which is on the second floor of the house) and I spied flowers (magnolias, I think) on the neighbor's tree just across the ally from me. I just love spring!
Tonight I'm reveling in some quiet. Ann, Penelope, and Caden are back home for a visit. Beth is working. And Nelson is out grocery gathering. Asher is down for a nap. Until he wakes up, I'm just going to stroll through some blogs/diaries, or maybe play some scrabble. It's just such a sweet sort of silence.
I wrote the following for a prayer blog I'm a part of:
Tuesday night I was in the yard with the grandbabies. A bird flew into the top of the big old tree. Penelope (cutest 3 yr old on the planet) stood at the base of the tree and jumped (a flat-footed 3 yr old kind of jump)--several times. Finally she looked over at me, where I was desperately trying not to laugh at her efforts, and she said, "I guess I'm not big enough, Mema."
Then it was as if a lightbulb went off, and she ran for the house. Moments later she emerged with her little step. She set it at the base of the tree, climbed aboard, and proceeded to try jumping again. Her face quickly displayed her frustration. Until another bulb lit up: You help me, Mema?
And I could help but picture myself jumping awkwardly at life's issues--trying to tackle problems not meant to be tackled. It reminded me of Peter trying to walk on the water. Jesus didn't invite Peter. It was Peter who asked to try something he wasn't created for. Jesus allowed it and scooped him up--lovingly...knowingly.
God grant me clearer vision of what my tasks are for this day. Help me not to waste energy jumping after things that you don't need me to do. Grant us each that assurance of your love. And we will be thankful.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
And This Week...
It was a poopy weekend. The boys both had diarrhea. Caden had several incidents of puking as well. That’s how I was awakened: by Travis washing one whiny baby in the tub. Travis was scheduled to have the kids, but since Caden was sick, he just spent the weekend with us. It turned out to be a good thing I think.
Sunday Aunt Flo came calling and I was crampy and feeling like I was coming down with a cold. I woke up Monday morning with more of the same. Problem was that I wasn’t sick enough to stay home, but felt too lousy to be at work. So I worked.Today is better.
Nelson continues to work long days. His pants were literally falling off him, so until his new uniforms come in he was given special permission to wear some of his bib overalls. When he started he was in a 56” waiste. Right now he’s down to a 44 or 46, depending on the cut. He continues to be my inspiration!
Ann and Travis had lots of opportunity to talk about things. He’s been remodeling their home. He’s completed therapy. It looks like she will move back home in May when the remodeling is complete. That will give them time to start over, having dates and move slowly. Then in the summer they’ll start couples therapy. It sounds like a good plan. We’ll be watching and praying as it unfolds.
Beth and Ron are looking at houses. Ron’s lease is up on his apartment in October. He doesn’t see the point in renting when their plan is to get married next year. They sat and talked with Nelson about how they should go about this. He gave good advice and they listened and actually followed it. Guess we’ll be watching and praying as that unfolds too.
So my very full house could be a very large house much sooner than I anticipated. Our lease is up in July so we need to make some decisions, too. I can’t even describe how I dread even the idea of moving, but I’m not liking some things that are already going on with the management company we’re renting with. They are now saying our rent is $685 with $10 for the pet rent. We can’t locate our copy of the lease. I know we had one, but it’s hiding really well. I’m going to look again tonight. Nelson and I talked about it. There’s just no way that it was $685. We were ready to balk at the $675. I know it’s only $10 but it’s principle and it is $10. If I can’t find it, I have to call and as for a copy of our original lease. Wonder how much they’ll charge me for that?
I cleaned my office today. Sort of. I filed and decluttered my desk and surrounding space of unnecessary paper. Now I have files to put away. That shouldn’t be too hard.
Well, it’s time to head home. Until later…
Sunday Aunt Flo came calling and I was crampy and feeling like I was coming down with a cold. I woke up Monday morning with more of the same. Problem was that I wasn’t sick enough to stay home, but felt too lousy to be at work. So I worked.Today is better.
Nelson continues to work long days. His pants were literally falling off him, so until his new uniforms come in he was given special permission to wear some of his bib overalls. When he started he was in a 56” waiste. Right now he’s down to a 44 or 46, depending on the cut. He continues to be my inspiration!
Ann and Travis had lots of opportunity to talk about things. He’s been remodeling their home. He’s completed therapy. It looks like she will move back home in May when the remodeling is complete. That will give them time to start over, having dates and move slowly. Then in the summer they’ll start couples therapy. It sounds like a good plan. We’ll be watching and praying as it unfolds.
Beth and Ron are looking at houses. Ron’s lease is up on his apartment in October. He doesn’t see the point in renting when their plan is to get married next year. They sat and talked with Nelson about how they should go about this. He gave good advice and they listened and actually followed it. Guess we’ll be watching and praying as that unfolds too.
So my very full house could be a very large house much sooner than I anticipated. Our lease is up in July so we need to make some decisions, too. I can’t even describe how I dread even the idea of moving, but I’m not liking some things that are already going on with the management company we’re renting with. They are now saying our rent is $685 with $10 for the pet rent. We can’t locate our copy of the lease. I know we had one, but it’s hiding really well. I’m going to look again tonight. Nelson and I talked about it. There’s just no way that it was $685. We were ready to balk at the $675. I know it’s only $10 but it’s principle and it is $10. If I can’t find it, I have to call and as for a copy of our original lease. Wonder how much they’ll charge me for that?
I cleaned my office today. Sort of. I filed and decluttered my desk and surrounding space of unnecessary paper. Now I have files to put away. That shouldn’t be too hard.
Well, it’s time to head home. Until later…
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Same Old
My life just feels like a series of the same thing over and over repeating itself.
I work during the day. I fill in at Curves—a lot lately. I change a lot of poopy butts.
Sigh.
I’m fighting a sore throat.
Nelson and I are thinking about buying a Curves in Ft. Wayne. How insane is that?
Nelson has lost 130 pounds. But he says he hasn’t really lost it because he’s not looking for it. Clever man!
I have to leave and drive 45 minutes for a meeting in Huron county. I’m sooooo glad the sun is shining today. It’ll be a very wonderful trip!
Pretty soon my lilac will be blooming. Now that’s something to look forward to!
I work during the day. I fill in at Curves—a lot lately. I change a lot of poopy butts.
Sigh.
I’m fighting a sore throat.
Nelson and I are thinking about buying a Curves in Ft. Wayne. How insane is that?
Nelson has lost 130 pounds. But he says he hasn’t really lost it because he’s not looking for it. Clever man!
I have to leave and drive 45 minutes for a meeting in Huron county. I’m sooooo glad the sun is shining today. It’ll be a very wonderful trip!
Pretty soon my lilac will be blooming. Now that’s something to look forward to!
Monday, February 19, 2007
We're Back!
What a wonderful weekend I had!
We finally got moving down the road around 4PM.
Each turn or route we took erased a possibility of our desitnation.
We went south on 71. We went around Columbus on 270 toward Indianapolis. I crossed the border into Indiana (and I didn’t have to have a travel pass to do it!!!!). When we got to Indianapolis we went south on 465 to 65 south, straight down the road to Nashville, Indiana. Ahhhhh, Brown County.
Some of you may remember we spent our 25th anniversary in a lovely cabin there and meandered through the shops and eateries for several days. It was wonderful. Nelson knew how much I enjoyed that and decided to whisk me away for a couple of days there.
At first it seemed long way to go for such a short time---it’s about a 5 hour trip. But it was so lovely. Saturday it did a lazy snow all day—and I didn’t even care!!! Me, the queen of the weather weenies. What did I care! My car was parked, our cozy suite was within walking distance of everything. I was set. Me and my sweetie just soaked it all in.
One of the things I got was a travel mug from the Life is Good shop. It’s one of our favorite shops in town. He played special songs for us about love and our anniversary—the oldies we knew and loved. My mug is dark pink with a heart on one side where it says Life is good! The other side says “Do what you like. Like what you do.”
Since I’m at work now I think I will mind my mug and write more later. TTFN
We finally got moving down the road around 4PM.
Each turn or route we took erased a possibility of our desitnation.
We went south on 71. We went around Columbus on 270 toward Indianapolis. I crossed the border into Indiana (and I didn’t have to have a travel pass to do it!!!!). When we got to Indianapolis we went south on 465 to 65 south, straight down the road to Nashville, Indiana. Ahhhhh, Brown County.
Some of you may remember we spent our 25th anniversary in a lovely cabin there and meandered through the shops and eateries for several days. It was wonderful. Nelson knew how much I enjoyed that and decided to whisk me away for a couple of days there.
At first it seemed long way to go for such a short time---it’s about a 5 hour trip. But it was so lovely. Saturday it did a lazy snow all day—and I didn’t even care!!! Me, the queen of the weather weenies. What did I care! My car was parked, our cozy suite was within walking distance of everything. I was set. Me and my sweetie just soaked it all in.
One of the things I got was a travel mug from the Life is Good shop. It’s one of our favorite shops in town. He played special songs for us about love and our anniversary—the oldies we knew and loved. My mug is dark pink with a heart on one side where it says Life is good! The other side says “Do what you like. Like what you do.”
Since I’m at work now I think I will mind my mug and write more later. TTFN
Friday, February 16, 2007
Anniversary Adventure
Tomorrow (the 17th) is my, our 28th wedding anniversary. Nelson has made arrangements to “kidnap” me. He made sure that the girls had childcare all arranged so that I didn’t need to “worry” about that. He told me to pack a bag for him and me for two days. I was not told what we were doing, except we will be having dinner at Pizza Hut tomorrow night.
We went to Pizza Hut on our first date. We ate at Pizza Hut on our way from the wedding to the lodge at Salt Fork State Park, where we spent our honeymoon. On our way home from the hospital with Annie we stopped at Pizza Hut and celebrated her birth with our Pastor and his wife. We found a Pizza Hut near Nashville, Indiana when we were on our 25th anniversary adventure. So it is right and good to eat at Pizza Hut tomorrow night.
I went to Goodwill and was fortunate to find a pair of Victoria Secret satin pajamas to take with me on the trip. And they were half price! So was the bathing suit I bought for just in case there’s a pool wherever we’re staying.
I called home this morning and asked Annie (both Annie and Beth know Nelson’s plans, but both have done a great job of not letting anything slip) if the clothes I packed were appropriate for the trip. It’s odd. I haven’t wondered or worried about what the adventure will hold. Kind of reminds me of how I felt when I got married—I wasn’t worried and knew I could trust this amazing man.
I hope there is specialness and love in your weekend. I know there will be in mine.
We went to Pizza Hut on our first date. We ate at Pizza Hut on our way from the wedding to the lodge at Salt Fork State Park, where we spent our honeymoon. On our way home from the hospital with Annie we stopped at Pizza Hut and celebrated her birth with our Pastor and his wife. We found a Pizza Hut near Nashville, Indiana when we were on our 25th anniversary adventure. So it is right and good to eat at Pizza Hut tomorrow night.
I went to Goodwill and was fortunate to find a pair of Victoria Secret satin pajamas to take with me on the trip. And they were half price! So was the bathing suit I bought for just in case there’s a pool wherever we’re staying.
I called home this morning and asked Annie (both Annie and Beth know Nelson’s plans, but both have done a great job of not letting anything slip) if the clothes I packed were appropriate for the trip. It’s odd. I haven’t wondered or worried about what the adventure will hold. Kind of reminds me of how I felt when I got married—I wasn’t worried and knew I could trust this amazing man.
I hope there is specialness and love in your weekend. I know there will be in mine.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Babbling
Have you ever wished you were something you’re not?
I wish I was more introverted. Does that sound crazy? I know so many people who wish they were more extroverted.
Please don’t get me wrong. I love most of what it means that I am an extrovert. Except that I think out loud. That piece of my personality has led me into more muddy experiences than I can count or remember.
Here’s an example.
One of the participants in our program was fired because he missed work for a probation violation (happens quite often). Subsequent to that he sat in jail. First thing he checked on when he got out was where his last check was. We needed to get that last paycheck to him and the plan was that we would do that this week when we were in his town doing our WINGS class. Enter the blizzard. I thought his check would be mailed, but I hadn’t gotten the complete word on that. He called me at home last night. I told him my boss was unavailable and that I would get in touch with him this morning. A few minutes ago I come back from a quick trip to the bathroom to find that I missed two calls—from this guy! He wanted to know about his check. I was irritated. I had gone to my boss’ office and he was in a meeting with my co-worker. I was waiting to check on the check when this guy calls.
Enter the extrovert. Enter the feeling driven extrovert. Grrrrrr. I walk to the boss’ office, interrupt the meeting, express only partial frustration and the boss jumps on the guy about the calls. Well, he deserved some of the frustration, but I needed to think way, way through what I needed to say. I said something about being frustrated because I was thinking out loud. My behavior was more like one of our clients than that of a professional.
I just went back and apologized to my boss.
Sometimes my greatest strengths are also my greatest weaknesses.
Now before you jump on me…I know the downside to the introvert’s over-thinking things. An introvert can literally think something to death. I just want to be a little more balanced. Sometimes I think a lock on my mouth might work—or duct tape. I was talking to my prayer partner last week and our conversation got around to this kind of thing and I remember saying that I only open my mouth to change feet. (insert heavy sigh)
Guess that just means there’s room for growth. I hope so…cause I sure don’t like feeling the way I’m feeling right now.
I wish I was more introverted. Does that sound crazy? I know so many people who wish they were more extroverted.
Please don’t get me wrong. I love most of what it means that I am an extrovert. Except that I think out loud. That piece of my personality has led me into more muddy experiences than I can count or remember.
Here’s an example.
One of the participants in our program was fired because he missed work for a probation violation (happens quite often). Subsequent to that he sat in jail. First thing he checked on when he got out was where his last check was. We needed to get that last paycheck to him and the plan was that we would do that this week when we were in his town doing our WINGS class. Enter the blizzard. I thought his check would be mailed, but I hadn’t gotten the complete word on that. He called me at home last night. I told him my boss was unavailable and that I would get in touch with him this morning. A few minutes ago I come back from a quick trip to the bathroom to find that I missed two calls—from this guy! He wanted to know about his check. I was irritated. I had gone to my boss’ office and he was in a meeting with my co-worker. I was waiting to check on the check when this guy calls.
Enter the extrovert. Enter the feeling driven extrovert. Grrrrrr. I walk to the boss’ office, interrupt the meeting, express only partial frustration and the boss jumps on the guy about the calls. Well, he deserved some of the frustration, but I needed to think way, way through what I needed to say. I said something about being frustrated because I was thinking out loud. My behavior was more like one of our clients than that of a professional.
I just went back and apologized to my boss.
Sometimes my greatest strengths are also my greatest weaknesses.
Now before you jump on me…I know the downside to the introvert’s over-thinking things. An introvert can literally think something to death. I just want to be a little more balanced. Sometimes I think a lock on my mouth might work—or duct tape. I was talking to my prayer partner last week and our conversation got around to this kind of thing and I remember saying that I only open my mouth to change feet. (insert heavy sigh)
Guess that just means there’s room for growth. I hope so…cause I sure don’t like feeling the way I’m feeling right now.
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