My Interview Questions

These questions are from Biscotti Brain...a true sister!

I would like to suggest Michael W. Smith’s cd “Freedom” for your listening pleasure while reading my responses to Biscotti’s questions.

1. Your blog has been a story of brokenness and of joy. What have you learned about brokenness and joy in the last few years?

I have learned so much! Where to begin…I’ve learned that being broken isn’t the worst thing. As I looked at my life in pieces before me, I scrambled to try and put it back together. Somehow I thought was my job. Crazy, huh? But no matter what I did, I couldn’t get it back.

I learned what it really means to live into the reality of 2 Corinthians 4:7…I am a cracked pot and I’m in good company and there’s no reason to lose heart!

I am learning to live in the present instead of always looking ahead. I’ve learned I don’t have to be perfect…I can’t be…and that’s okay! I have learned that when the waves begin to crash in on me because I have arrogantly gotten out of the boat and tried to walk on water, that my Savior stands before me holding out his hand.

I have seen grace in the most amazing of places and revel in God’s constant presence and provision.

2. Five months ago, you were contemplating a paper route. Yesterday you were doing a full body smile in a uniform with your name stitched on it. You seem to have a deep grasp of God's provision and faithfulness. Could you describe some of that here?

So much of my life I was trying to arrive somewhere, as if the important thing about living was getting somewhere, not being in the moment. I found my only value in what I perceived others thought about me. I had to keep working to gain that approval. If I could do enough I might be acceptable. I needed to be the best at whatever I was doing. I was competitive—driven!

I even caught myself falling into this pattern when I was in jail! It dawned on me one day that I was striving to be the best Trustee that jail ever had. It was insane. As soon as I realized it I began to see more clearly how God was working in my life.

Here’s a few examples: My former employer was very good friends with the Sheriff in the county where I was going to jail. As I was being processed in, I was asked if I wanted to be a Trustee ( a job one usually has to earn). Being a Trustee meant I didn’t have to stay in the general population cell and that I could work which would give me something to occupy my time and enable me to earn days off my sentence.

At the same time I was coming out of jail the Transformation Network was starting to expand it’s ministry. They purchased their building. Then they added a worship component for people who couldn’t attend services or who would feel uncomfortable in a traditional service. Last August, the very month we began to move into our new home here in Ashland, T-Net worked out the details and began a work program with Reineke Manufacturing. And that connection, that amazing provision made it possible for me to be involved in weekly worship and to have steady full-time job with benefits.

There are so many examples of God’s provision and faithfulness. I am so bountifully blessed. Some days I feel sad for what I have lost, but then I focus on what I have gained and I can’t help but rejoice!

3. What led you to Bible college and full-time ministry? What were your favourite aspects of both experiences?

When I was a little girl I dreamed of being a minister. My sister and I shared a bedroom and slept in twin beds. They made a perfect “sanctuary.” I would line up all our dolls and stuffed animals like they were sitting in the pews and I would use the clothes hamper as my pulpit. But I was a girl and therefore I wasn’t minister material.

When I was in 9th grade we moved to a new town and began attending a church that had a woman minister on staff. I shared my dream with her and she encouraged me to develop my gifts. That church also had a dynamic youth group and my best friend in that youth group attended Mount Vernon Nazarene College (because her uncle was the mayor of Mount Vernon and on MVNC’s board of trustees).

My parents were adament about not paying for college if I was going to go for a degree in ministry so I tried to consider other majors: audio and speech pathology or nursing. I needed to get away and think about what I was going to do so I decided to spend my spring break at MVNC with my friend. I fell in love with the school and decided it was important for me to be who I was and not who my parents wanted me to be.

I remember coming home from MVNC and telling my parents that I WAS going to MVNC and I WAS going to be a minister. I told them that if I needed to I would wait a year to go to school, work, and save up my money. They decided I was serious. We ended up compromising. They paid for school. I was a sociology major with a religion minor.

While at MVNC I joined the Nazarene Church and began the process toward ordination. The Nazarene denomination has always encouraged women in ministry, but have been slow to really create viable ministry opportunities for them.

Favorite experiences? I LOVED studying Greek and doing exegetical studies. I am a die-hard student. I have a passion for language and an insatiable desire to learn more about scripture. One of my highlights was speaking at Student Revival.

I loved preaching. I love crafting sermons. I loved coming alongside people in their happiest and saddest times of life—just journeying with them. The absolute highlight of my ministry was baptising my daughters.

4. You seem to relish the role of grandmother. Are there ways that you have been changed in exploring what it is to be a grandmother?

Yes, absolutely. I spent a lot of time wondering if anything I said or did made any difference on my girls. From the time Ann found out she was pregnant until now, I marvel at how much I know and how much my opinions are valued. I must confess it feels good!

Becoming a grandmother also helped me step into my age. In ways that I’m not exactly comfortable admitting, I was afraid to be 47. The really down side to all that was not being able to access my experience and wisdom. I was so horribly disconnected. Penelope has been the glue pulling me back together and the catalyst that made me be present.

Penelope has also given me another gift: play. I didn’t know how and didn’t value play. Being around Penelope I have rediscovered my child within and she’s quite fun!

5. You have been involved with a couple denominations, and a few different types of congregation. What kind of community of believers do you now find yourself craving? What qualities would make you feel worth the commitment of you and your husband?

I have been Presbyterian, United Methodist, Nazarene, and Mennonite. I sang in a Catholic folk mass in high school. I have two Master’s degrees from a Brethren seminary. Sometimes I feel like a theological and denominational mutt.

I asked Nelson which church we’ve attended together did he think epitomized the ideal church. As I suspected his answer mirrored my own. Of course he also had a runner up. The runner up was a church we attended in Kansas City: Shawnee Church of the Nazarene. This was a large church that still had a small feel. Lots of fellowship and great opportunities to reach others.

The church that we both hold as ideal is a small inner city Mennonite church in Springfield, Ohio. This church ministered to homeless, mental health, poverty stricken people. No one wore masks. They felt that their ministry was one of healing. One of the women talked with me when we were getting ready to leave to move here. She described how she was saddened to see us leave until she realized that theirs was a healing and sending church. She talked about how so many seemed to come and get involved and bless the congregation and then move on. Then the Lord revealed to her what we had learned from our time being apart of their fellowship.

One of the things that stands out in my memory of this church really being church happened on a sunny Sunday last summer. After the morning worship service we were having a grill out picnic. People of the congregation went to the surrounding houses and also watched up and down the streets for people to invite. Instead of a meal just for those who attended the service the service went out to those around the building. People in that impoverished neighborhood were treated to great food and some of the most precious fellowship that I have ever been blessed to be a part of.

Your question about craving comes at a very interesting time. I have enjoyed our time with the worship group at T-Net. But it’s really not much more than a Bible study or Sunday School class. It’s wonderful for what it is…but…I miss congregational singing. I miss a good, meaty sermon. I miss opportunities to get lost in “wonder, love, and praise.” I miss feeling like I’m part of something bigger.

What would draw us to commit? The congregation would have to have a feeling of honesty and realness. There would have to be an acceptance of brokenness. There would need to be openness and receptivity of diversity. There wouldn’t be a rigid deathgrip on tradition and ritual simply because “we’ve always done it that way.” There would be a hunger for the Word and a passion for service. It would be a place where I would be encouraged to use my gifts and where Nelson felt comfortable. Oh, and permission from probation and the pastor would be necessary, too.

Thanks to Biscotti for the opportunity to think through these things and share my thoughts.