I walked out to the garage and loaded my things in the car. I backed out and headed out the alley. As I pulled out onto the street my purse, which I had perched precariously on the passenger seat proceeded to fall, dumping everything on the floor. I laughed out loud. And here’s what I said: “That’s just great. That’s exactly what I wanted to happen.” Then I started to think: perhaps I did.
I like to be in control. My purse dumping on the floor spoke to me about this issue. First, I say I like to be in control, but I don’t do always do what can to control what I can control. I purchased that purse specifically because it has a zipper on the top so that I can close it and secure my belongings from dumpage. This gave me pause to reflect on what I have been neglecting to control.
As I dug deeper into the issue about control I realized I needed to confess that I while I had been negligent in some areas, I have over-functioned where I had no business. I offer lip-service that says I trust God, but I plan my life tight and leave very little wiggle room for God to work. More reason to pause and reflect.
Control is interesting and illusive. When I was a counselor and working with people who felt out of control, I would require them to come up with one thing that they could in fact control and then encourage them to do so. Often by claiming control in one thing (no matter how small) can help a person feel more secure in an otherwise chaotic set of circumstances. On the other hand there is the control ‘freak’ who attempts to control everything and then in the process loses control of everything.
I don’t pretend to have all the answers here, but this one thing I do know: I will be utilizing the zipper on my purse more consistently in the future!