Thursday, March 24, 2005

Day Three Power

Wednesday. Hump day. Half way through the work week. It’s been a rough one. It’s been physically taxing and today was emotionally difficult as well. Yesterday I had some serious issues with one of the employees: the 21 year old. Taken separately they were troubling, but considering them all together, I had very little choice but to confront. And I don’t like to confront.

I wrote up my concerns and I requested back up. I asked Dan (director of T-Net) to be present. I wanted another set of ears there because I knew the 21 yr old had difficulty remembering things in their proper perspective, as they were said. I wanted to be able to deal with the distortions later…when the need arises.

Rather than face the issues the 21yr old used several different methods to deflect. She was defensive, claimed everything was an accident (as if accidents shouldn’t have consequences), blamed everyone else, pointed out the mistakes of others, and then finally just down emotionally blaming all the chaos in her life. Reality is that there is a ton of chaos in her life: she had a car accident on Friday, her 17yr old sister has cancer (and is undergoing some very serious treatments) thus making her parents pretty unavailable to her, her brother’s marriage is in the crapper and he’s trying to mooch off her, and then just the everyday stuff.

I felt myself getting sucked in to rescue her. I was able to maintain some internal distancing (aka healthy boundaries) while offering support. Afterward Dan admonished me to be careful. I heard him on a superficial level, but it wasn’t until later that his concern really grabbed my spirit. This is one of my weaknesses. So I thought it was very much like God to get through with his message.

I have a copy of “My Utmost for His Highest” in the bathroom. I figure it’s one place I visit on a daily basis so it’s also a good time to fill with good thoughts. Anyway, I grabbed it this morning during my pit stop. The message was one of not giving into rescuing or removing another person’s struggle from them. The struggle is a gift to them to make them dependent upon God. Then the last line: You may often have to watch Jesus Christ wreck a life before He saves it (see Matthew 10:34 ). Wow! Now there’s something for me to meditate on today.

On a funner note…I was entrusted with power!!!! I started small with a heavy duty power stapler. (Insert Tim the Toolman noise here) Then I was trained on the stud press. Oh my. Big machine. Lots of power. Lots of sensors to keep you from smashing your hands or arms. That’s a little scary.

Another thing that felt really good today was that several of the factory employees included me in their jokes and conversations. This really seems to be a neat group of people.

So while I was working the stud press I was thinking. Good thing really. I’ve talked to several people about this career. The general response is one of not being able to handle the boredom or the repetition. I don’t mind it. In fact I enjoy it. I find the time refreshing. I don’t mind working alone. And while it’s noisy in the factory it has an odd sort of quiet feeling, too. Maybe that comes from the solitariness of the work. Whatever it is I like it. I like the opportunity to pray and praise.

(Finishing this up on Thursday morning)

Yesterday Dan asked if I wanted to go with him to a Maundy Thursday service. A local pastor had called Transformation Network to ask if some of the folks would come and represent T-Net and read scripture for the service. This church financially supports the ministry. Dan accepted the invite. He asked if I would be willing to read. My first response was to remind him that I wasn’t allowed in church. He assured me he had checked with probation and got it approved. I’m in! I haven’t been in a church service since August. This one should be interesting since I went to college with the pastor and know some people in the congregation. Hopefully God will smooth over some of the potential akwardness.

Well, this is droning on so I better post and get myself ready for work. Blessed day to one and all.

1 comment:

anj said...

Um...what a timely meditation, and so important to live it out. Good on you for having ears to hear. Hope your church service was a Well of refreshment.