Mind Flooding

There hasn't been a hurricane in my life...just a few storms lately that have left me thinking. It's not necessarily deep, nor finished--but here's some of the gist...or grist:

-The message this morning was from Luke 15. The gentleman who brought the message was a professor at our local university and basketball coach at a nearby high school. The basis for his message came from a question a student asked a few years back: "Why are people in this country (she was an international student and athlete) so obsessed with winning?" It was a good question and timely given a later point you will read further in this grist list.

Beth joined Nelson and I in the living room as we "watched" the service. She went on for a minute about how many people turn to this text, implying that it is "over-preached." I chuckled. It is one of my favorites to preach from, but I tend not to go down the over beaten paths. I remember one Sunday in my last pastorate using this text and when I got to the part where the Father ran to meet the son I talked about why he did that. So many point out his joy at his son's return. Now, while I agree that there was joy, I believe it was also a more important thing the Father did. Can you imagine how horribly humiliating it would have been for the son to walk through town to get back home? How the tongue waggers would have relished each shame-filled step and how the stories would have flown! Instead the Father swooped in and proudly, celebratorily walked--no probably skipped through the streets declaring there would be a feast! Wow--now he may have blown it at other times as a Dad, but he came through big time right then!

-I'm reading a powerful little book, Traveling Mercies, by Anne Lamott. It's made me think about a lot of different things. First, I was just thinking about the style of the writing. It's much rawer and real--more unpolished than the "Christian" books that line my shelves. In books like this one and Miller's, Searching for God Knows What, everything isn't tied up in a neat package with a pretty little bow.

Last night I was reading the chapter entitled: Grace as I was going to bed. Wow. In that chapter she describes the "gift of failure." This gift "breaks through all that held breath and isometric tension about needing to look good: it's the gift of feeling floppier." And grace is "having a commitment to--or at least an acceptance of--being ineffective and foolish."

-Then this morning I found a note from someone new to my blog. She found me via a note I left on the blog of the person who gave me the Miller book. It was related to something I said about coincidences. I said I don't believe in them. Her challenge was then to believe then that it was no coincidence that someone at work found my blog and spread it around.

-One more piece: This week I found an email from one of our foster kids. This girl was a bright light amidst much frustration and feelings of futility. Her success, though, came from an inner resilliancy, all we did was nurture it. When life in my home was going south fast, I pushed to have her put in another home. I didn't want her to be negatively affected. I hoped that some day she would be able to understand why I did such a turn around from considering adoption to hving her leave. She's married (for two years, almost) and has a little baby of her own.

I was afraid at first to respond to her email. Shame will do that to you. What could she want? I spent quite a few hours playing out the worst case scenario in my mind. With great fear and trembling I finally responded. We did some small talk and catch up and then she asked about what had happened. In that moment what I thought and felt rivaled the prodigal son: I have sinned horribly against all I believed, I am not worthy to be called friend, let alone Mom...I couldn't even begin to ask for your forgiveness. Next thing I felt was her emailishly walking alongside me. Celebrating that we had reconnected.

It's been a rough week. It's been a good week. And grace isn't satisfied to leave me here...there's still more journey and growing ahead.