Depression.
Defined by dictionary.com
The act of depressing.
The condition of being depressed.
An area that is sunk below its surroundings; a hollow.
The condition of feeling sad or despondent.
Psychology. A psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death. Also called clinical depression.
This morning Nelson asked if I had a good Thanksgiving. I said for the most part. It’s as honest as I could be. He said something about sleeping better last night. I said it looked like he slept better (his affect was much brighter). I shared the conclusion that perhaps his recent lack of sleep might explain his sour mood and negativity. He owned that he could feel himself slipping into depression, that he has a lot to be depressed about. He thinks he should create a holiday for depressed people: No Thanks Giving Day.
I knew he was slipping into depression. While he lives with a sort of low grade depression all the time (an Eeyore mentality/personality), there are times when he cycles into deeper quagmires. This is one of those times.
The really difficult thing about the down times is that he says really hurtful things. I am able to attribute the comments to his depression. They sting at first and maybe hurt like a deep bruise for a couple days, but I can move beyond them. Love does that.
My deeper ache is for the hurt he inflicts upon the girls. Now I’ll admit they aren’t perfect and can be frustrating in their own unique ways at times, but they don’t deserve some of the venom filled quips and barbs that are hurled against them. For Nelson, however, depression removes all ability to be diplomatic and takes it straight to hurtful. When you adore your dad, those comments can’t brushed away with the wave of the magic “Oh it’s just depression talking” wand.
So we’ll ride this wave and hope it doesn’t last too long. If it could melt as fast as yesterday’s snow, I’d be an even happier camper.
About Me
- daisymarie
- I am 54 years old. I have been married for 32 years to one of the most incredible men on the face of the planet. Our journey hasn't been easy, but it's been rich in love, forgiveness, joy, and adventure. I'm learning daily that God really does have a plan for my life. I want to live into whatever that means...however it unfolds. I'm an ESFP with a healthy dose of ADD...I love to help people see how very incredible they are and how much love God wants to lavish on them!
5 comments:
Once again, you amaze me. I have a hard time dealing with people close to me who are depressed (or who are unable to see any positive in their lives).
You take it to prayer.
I stew :(
Thanks, daisymarie... I will be thinking on this for a long time.
(hugs - as many as needed)
i've been there too ... in our case, it's his pain talking - mostly ... maybe i pick at the sore and expose things ... then i cry, talk to the Lord, He picks me up, strengthens me ... and off we go again, hopefully stronger and able to deal with the next round ...
trying to live for Jesus isn't for sissies ... it's only for the warrier children ... and i admire the battle you wage ... keep on fighting the good fight ...
Yes.
This is SAD season for many. And I really identify with the theme of depression, having struggled with this illness all of my life.
I have learned a few things. Medication can help. It has saved my life.
Depression which has an angry, sharp tongued quality to it could be an agitated depression, which can be relieved with the right kind of medication. There is no need for the people around Nelson to have to suffer this abuse, even if he is depressed. I suspect Nelson may be on quite the regime of meds already but this is worth a try. If he is on antidepressants, perhaps he needs a new one. Effectiveness wears off after a time.
Depression is catching. I suspect when we live with a depressed person it takes a great deal more energy to stay 'up.' Negativity can spread. The brain has no capacity to sort out negativity born out of depression from just downright meaness. (As you have suggested with your girls.) Nelson owes it to his girls to do whatever it takes to control his barbed remarks.
Hey, Nelson, why not a blog from you? Call it Eeyore's Moans and just tell us all that is bugging you. I for one, will write back. I think you should take on some of the responsibility for communicating in this family. Daisymarie does too much, and you have a lot to say and a lot we could pray for more accurately if it was coming straight from you. Soooo. What is stopping you?
DaisyMarie, has he ever gone to a real doctor (psychologist or psychiatrist) to be diagnosed properly? Perhaps if he feels like this all the time, medication could make some real difference in his life.
Believe me, I'm so NOT a pill pusher, but I have seen what this medication can do for people even on a part time basis. And, of course, there's always therapy.
When someone's depression effects the other family members its time to look into options. Those scars of pain he's throwing at the children are going to last them far longer than his bout of depression will. Don't let them suffer just because dad's "out of sorts." Please think about taking some action if this continues.
Let me know if I can help...remember - I've been there/done that.
Bless you Daisy Marie. I used to live with someone who was depressed all the time. It is not an easy road and my heart aches for you and your girls. You'll be in my prayers.
Jesus,
I lift Daisy to you right now. I know the pain they feel in this situation.I ask that youwould give her an extra measure of grace for this hard situation. Be her strong tower, be her joy, be the Father Who holds her and protects her. Be the mother who comforts and shields her. Be her safe place. I thank you that you promise that you are all these things. Be with Daisy and guide her as she cares for her girls during this situation. Pour your peace over her and give her wisdom beyond her experience. Supernaturally emower her for all she faces.
I am reminded that you say in your word that you came to set the captives free and heal the broken-hearted. I pray that you will woo Nelson, call him to yourself and make him brave enough to walk through the hurts and face them so he can be set free. Give him the courage to reach for you for the long haul, not just the short and put people in his life who know how to help him.
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