Friends and Hope

500
25 Thousand
600 Minutes

I went and saw RENT today with Annie. Wow! Now I know it’s not a movie for everyone. But I really enjoyed the movie. I was moved by it. The characters with their passion, creativity, and most of all love, made me think, laugh, cry, and thank.

And for now that’s all I want to say on that.

Last evening I went to a Ladies Advent Candlelight Tea at church. It was nice, but it wasn’t what I expected—what I hoped for…longed for it to be. I like the fact that this church has activities. There is always something to do. Once upon time that would have been enough. The busyness would have satisfied my need to take on anything and everything and appear to be juggling the world. “How does she do it all?”

I like that there’s something to do, but I’m not doing for doing sake. I’m going hoping to connect, to find a friend, maybe even more than one. I was thinking back over my “church history” and the memories of the different friendships at different churches brought a smile to my heart.

I remember Rita. We were young moms, new to Toledo. We met at the women’s outing when we toured a glass factory. She hooked her arm through mine and announced that we would be friends. We still are though separated by distance.

There was Florene, Rita, Jean, Connie, Elaine, Chris, Laurie, Marsha, Connie, Irene, Joyce, Carol, and Now…no one. Not yet. I’m still very, very hopeful.

I have to be. Here’s why: I am totally and absolutely convinced that we are exactly attending the church where God wants us to be. I was absolutely overwhelmed by this awareness as I sat in Sunday School this morning. We started a new quarter, and had a new teacher. As the new teacher stood to teach, I started to cry. In some distant muffled awareness, I knew the teacher was speaking about the transforming love of God. In that moment I was totally immersed in the experience of God providing grace and love.

When we moved here in August 2005 the plan was to attend the Nazarene church in a nearby town. The first block to that we experienced came from my PO. Then we observed seriously disturbing behavior with the Pastor of the church. We were terribly confused and hurt when that door closed.

But another door opened and we joined up with a little worship group. There were ups and downs with them, but the support and love we felt was balm to our hearts and we were able to use our gifts, received many blessings, and were there when they closed that group down.

The summer months were a sort of dessert experience. We tried to watch church on TV, but it I was left with an empty feeling. Then at the beginning of June we were given the okay to “go” to church. At the end of June Nelson fell and we weren’t “going” anywhere.

With mobility came resolve to try the nearby Brethren Church. We were received so warmly. After a few weeks we decided to go to Sunday School. I had a few reservations, but they were easily laid to rest. Yesterday morning sealed the deal.

I was sitting there flooded with overwhelming thankfulness. There in that classroom were my two most favoritest seminary professors—and one of them was going to teach the class this quarter. But that wasn’t all. My supervisor was there—what a tenderhearted godly man! And the owner of my company is a part of that class too. And when he prays—wow!

I sat there just getting my socks blessed off as Dr. M (too much respect to cozy up and call him by his first name) taught the class. He’s so dynamic and entertaining and then he gets you with the point. I loved it. On the way home I asked Nelson how he liked it? He said it was too short. Exactly!

In the afternoon there was a shower for Beth. Several of her work friends came. My in-laws drove down from Toledo. Annie did the games. Penelope entertained us. It was fun. Beth got some lovely things.

And now it’s Monday morning. I’m a little nervous about going to work. Friday afternoon several people at the plant got laid off. We only have about 35 workers. About 8 were to get laid off. I wasn’t one of them, though I was lower on the seniority pole. Since I’m am trained for my area I made it through the first cut. That’s not going to make some people very happy. If we don’t get work this week, I may be next.

On my way to work this morning the thought occurred to me that trusting in God doesn’t necessarily mean that the queasy stomache associated with “stepping in the water” doesn’t automatically go away. And I’m really okay with that, because it reminds me to keep trusting.

He’s provided so much—I’ve no cause to doubt that He WILL carry me through.