Humpty Dumpty Report

I’m home. I’m exhausted. We got Nelson there—even a little early! Not a good thing necessarily when you’re waiting for surgery. I just wanted to allow for traffic.

While we were in surgery waiting, the doctor let us know that Nelson would be staying a couple extra days. This was comforting news. Nelson had been concerned about how we were going to be able to manage his pain.

My sis came early and then stayed all day with me. It was good to have the company. We talked a lot and were quiet at other times. The surgery waiting area was very “homey” so we were comfortable all afternoon.

Nelson was taken to surgery around 11:30am and we finally got to his room around 5:30. The surgery took about 4 hours. They found more damage to the joint than anticipated and found another broken bone, this one in his foot.

We took Nelson’s c-pap (forced air breathing machine for his apnea) machine with us—just in case they did keep him. Julie had gone to the parking garage to retrieve it from the car when I arrived in Nelson’s room. I was not ready for what I found. Nelson was laying in the bed moaning, it was obvious that he was in terrible pain.

I have known this man for nearly 28 years. I have seen him injured on several occasions. I have never seen him hurting as badly as I did this evening. He told the nurse that his pain was at a 9 (on a scale where 10 is the worst). I translated to the nurse that on a “normal” person’s pain scale that would put Nelson’s pain at about a 15. He just doesn’t complain about pain. My heart started to ache. I felt so helpless, sick seeing him hurt and totally unable to do anything…well, not anything. I walked over and just began stroking him on the arm and across his forehead. That calms him, relaxes him. And as he relaxed the pain meds began to kick in.

Yesterday, I called Nelson from work while I was on my 2:00 break. He told me he was a big boy. He had gotten out of the bed and onto the bedside potty all by himself and had a bowel movement. I started thinking about it and the thoughts weren’t good. I had forgotten to put any water in the potty bucket. That would make clean up fun. And how pleasant it was going to be to come into the house with that aroma greeting me. He told me hat he was a really big boy and put the bucket in the half bath and shut the door. He had managed to get himself from the potty to the wheel chair and rolled to the bathroom to “hide” the potty bucket. I told him to warn the daughter so that she didn’t walk in there after work.

I cleaned things up when I got home from work…including the hubster. That’s really love. I kept trying to tell myself that it wasn’t much different from changing a dirty diaper, but it really isn’t the same.

Wiping your sweetie’s seatie is really love in action. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that true love is just willing to wade through the crap: whether it’s wiping a poopy bottom or coming to grips with unexpected, unexplainable criminal behavior. Nelson’s amazing ability to forgive me and keep loving me makes cleaning up poop seem like a walk in the park.

One of my favorite biblical moments comes when the crowd questions the woman who anoints Jesus feet and head at the dinner at the Pharisee’s house. Jesus tells a story to explain her extravagant display love. (Luke 7:36-50) In the story two men are forgiven a debt they cannot repay: one small and the other enormous. Jesus’ question: Which one will love more? Simon’s response is that it will be the one who has been forgiven more.

I understand this. I have been greatly forgiven, I am deeply loved…and there is no other response but to love and love deeply.

I may not be explaining this well…that may be because I’m feeling it quite deeply.

So now I’m going to take my weary self to bed…tomorrow holds much to do: work and a run to the hospital. Better get some rest. Hope you do too!