Full Plate

It has been an interesting, challenging, frustrating, fear-full, and exhausting kind of week.

Thursday after work I got a call from my sis who got a call from my uncle that my mother had fallen and perhaps had a brain aneurysm. After a couple of days and many, many phone calls between my siblings, children, and ex-SIL, and finally with my mother’s husband, I learned that Mom hadn’t had an aneurysm. The fall may have been the result of extreme low BP. So they have decided to put in a pacemaker. We don’t know when yet, hopefully early in the week. The really frustrating—no infuriating thing is that when she fell, she was unconscious for 10-12 minutes and during that time her husband (not my dad) and he didn’t call the squad. I nearly lost my mother and he didn’t call.

Friday was a very important day at work. We had a meeting with the company who holds the contract for our packaging—big company. Important people came to the meeting. We had done a major cleaning at the end of work on Thursday. I told them to clean like their grandma was coming to visit. They understood and the area looked great when they were done. One of the first things that happened was a tour of the plant and when the group descended on our area our work team really shone! I was so proud of them!!! And made sure they knew it.

At the end of the meeting Mr. R tried to explain how important this contract is to the team and the community. I spoke up and gave personal testimony to what a blessing this job really is. Later the HR manager stopped me to tell me how powerfully I spoke. I thanked him. Just a few minutes later Mr. R stopped me and assured me that both our company and the contract company were extremely pleased with the job we’ve been doing. Mr. R went on to tell me how much he appreciates what I’ve been doing, and what I did in that meeting. He told me that the company was not going to waste my talents. He said I would go far for the company. I wanted to ask what he meant, but just accepted the compliment and went home. It really felt good: both to be complimented, but also to just have that meeting over with!!!

Saturday I worked with 4 others. We got a lot accomplished today. We finished packaging a part and prepped for Monday. I was very pleased.

After work Nelson and I had lunch and then did some shopping. I ended up with some sandals that fit, a couple of flowers for my front porch and a trellis for the climbing rose I resurrected in the back yard. We had a good time together.

This morning I got an email from my uncle stating that Mom will be getting her pacemaker today (10:30 their time/1:30 my time). He also sent an email with an addy that explains the procedure. It’s a “minor” operation. Of course, I’ve always felt that minor surgery is what happens to someone else, not someone you love.

You know when things fly at you as fast as things have been flying here, it’s hard to reflect. At least it is for me. I’ve had some fleeting thoughts about stuff. Like, wouldn’t we all be better off if we had a spiritual pacemaker inserted? Then, like with my mom, when our spiritual life dips low we would get a zap to bring it back into line.

As for the meeting…I was really uncomfortable going into the meeting. I used to spend a lot of time in meetings. I was very active in supervision and management. My opinion was sought and respected. I never really enjoyed the meetings…I’m way to restless to sit still. This was the first time in 4 years I was invited to a meeting. The first time in 4 years my opinion was truly sought and respected. Then to run into Mr. R and have him put his arm around me and tell me what he did. I remember feeling nervous throughout the day, undeserving of the attention, and fortunate to have the opportunity to share. Then there was a moment in the midst of it all when deep in my heart, in that inner spot where God speaks to me, that I sensed not a word from God, but a smile—that kind of parental pride smile when your child gets it and love is overwhelming. I think that was the bestest moment of the day.

Then this morning, I was sitting alone when I read the email from my uncle. And I was overwhelmed with a sense of the seriousness of these days with mom. My dad died in 89 and since that time my relationship with my mom has become very, very special to me—to us both. My family is extremely dysfunctional, not close at all. My grandparents are all gone, My dad was an only child and I don’t know anyone on his side of the family. I’m really only “close” to Mom’s sis and BIL, and they have no children. I was sort of hit by a feeling of aloneness—a sort of orphan-type feeling. That was icky…and the lowest part of my weekend.

So that’s how things are going here. My plate is full. And hopefully, things will slow down soon enough to let me catch my breath and reflect a little more.