Round About

Friday I got up early and went in to work. I worked out for 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer. I really liked the machine—I felt like I got a wonderful workout and nothing hurt (like knees or hips).

Saturday I walked in the afternoon. I just took off out of the house and 50 minutes later I got home. It was such a beautiful day I just kept walking. My feet didn’t even hurt!

I rested from exercise on Sunday.

This morning I got up and went in for another 30 minutes on the elliptical. I still like it.
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I was thinking when I was walking on Saturday. I do that sometimes. I learned that one of my closest friends from High School is a professor of cardiology at the University of Michigan. Another friend is an associate professor and associate dean at the University of Connecticut. Another is Director of the Northern Illinois University School of Music.

When I learned these things, my first thoughts were sad and regret-filled. Imagine that. Then my thoughts took a turn. Instead of continuing down Bemoaning Avenue, I headed straight towards Gratitudeville.

Instead of dwelling on what isn’t or what might have been, I began to consider what I had done. I’ve taught at three seminaries, amongst a whole list of other accomplishments. I was a pastor/chaplain/counselor for a total of 21 years and I was good at what I did. I don’t mean that arrogantly, but I have worked hard on being able to own that. One of the most powerful things ever said about me was said by my chaplain supervisor when he said (in an evaluation) that I was “good for people.”

I may never know who’s life I touched at the right time in the right way because I chose to be faithful in spite of the “smallness” of the assignment. I may be only making hoses right now, but I may not see why I am here doing what I am doing, I have to believe that there is purpose and continued plans for me.

On the tale end of that whole set of thinkings came a thought that sort of tickled me. The core issue is widely debated in theological circles—a debate I chose to stay out of for many reasons, the main one being I think we use a whole lot of time (not necessarily to be confused with waste) debating that could be used to creatively bring us together rather than drive us apart.

Anyway…here’s the thought: If it was ordained (or pre-ordained) that I should be ordained, was it ordained that I become un-ordained? And if so why? And trust me, the question is rhetorical. I’m not looking for an answer. And I’ll tell you why: I’ll stand with Job on this one: the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord. It’s not my place to argue, or even understand. However, whenever he wants to use me I’m there and I’ll try not to muck it up too badly this time.

Well, I fell asleep last night while writing this one. I’m still trying to get up at 4:30 and that’s hard when the shows I like are on at 9 and 10. Getting up early has definitely curbed my TV viewing time.

So I’m off to the elliptical…see you around…..