Clean

Scrubbed floors and scum free bathroom.
I hate to clean--but I like things clean. And I like the clean smell when I'm all done.
While I was on my knees wiping up baby spills, I began to think...Isn't amazing how God can get your attention then?

There are other things that I hate the work or process of, but absolutely love and want the results: study, exercised, diet, and work.

All through my Christian walk I have been captivated by the verses that instruct the believer to make every effort. It really is all about the process, about the journey. End results, those things we work for (like paychecks) aren't really the end. They're just the step to the next step.

So I'll keep on walking, and cleaning (guess that means I should grouse so with each mess) because I know it's all moving me that much closer to the real end--Heaven. I wonder if anyone cleans the bathroom there?

Time for New Growth

I did not quit my job.

I did finally get to meet with my boss today. It went ok.

I need to work on rebuilding his trust in me. One of the ways I've been doing that in the past couple days is cc every email/correspondance to him so he knows exactly how I'm operating. I already keep a detailed phone log and time sheet breaking out my time spent on each contract. In our meeting he said I needed to walk that difficult line for rebuilding trust without innundating him with information he doesn't need. I'll have to work on that.

We also talked about how I tend to get defensive in meetings when my work is being questioned. I know that I tend to take things way too personally and I need to work on this issue so that my co-workers don't have to fear my "mood" when they need to confront me.
Guess I just need to revisit and fine tune all my issues. Sigh.
I
t's quite beautiful out today...and just now I looked out the offict window (which is on the second floor of the house) and I spied flowers (magnolias, I think) on the neighbor's tree just across the ally from me. I just love spring!

Tonight I'm reveling in some quiet. Ann, Penelope, and Caden are back home for a visit. Beth is working. And Nelson is out grocery gathering. Asher is down for a nap. Until he wakes up, I'm just going to stroll through some blogs/diaries, or maybe play some scrabble. It's just such a sweet sort of silence.

I wrote the following for a prayer blog I'm a part of:

Tuesday night I was in the yard with the grandbabies. A bird flew into the top of the big old tree. Penelope (cutest 3 yr old on the planet) stood at the base of the tree and jumped (a flat-footed 3 yr old kind of jump)--several times. Finally she looked over at me, where I was desperately trying not to laugh at her efforts, and she said, "I guess I'm not big enough, Mema."

Then it was as if a lightbulb went off, and she ran for the house. Moments later she emerged with her little step. She set it at the base of the tree, climbed aboard, and proceeded to try jumping again. Her face quickly displayed her frustration. Until another bulb lit up: You help me, Mema?

And I could help but picture myself jumping awkwardly at life's issues--trying to tackle problems not meant to be tackled. It reminded me of Peter trying to walk on the water. Jesus didn't invite Peter. It was Peter who asked to try something he wasn't created for. Jesus allowed it and scooped him up--lovingly...knowingly.

God grant me clearer vision of what my tasks are for this day. Help me not to waste energy jumping after things that you don't need me to do. Grant us each that assurance of your love. And we will be thankful.

And This Week...

It was a poopy weekend. The boys both had diarrhea. Caden had several incidents of puking as well. That’s how I was awakened: by Travis washing one whiny baby in the tub. Travis was scheduled to have the kids, but since Caden was sick, he just spent the weekend with us. It turned out to be a good thing I think.

Sunday Aunt Flo came calling and I was crampy and feeling like I was coming down with a cold. I woke up Monday morning with more of the same. Problem was that I wasn’t sick enough to stay home, but felt too lousy to be at work. So I worked.Today is better.

Nelson continues to work long days. His pants were literally falling off him, so until his new uniforms come in he was given special permission to wear some of his bib overalls. When he started he was in a 56” waiste. Right now he’s down to a 44 or 46, depending on the cut. He continues to be my inspiration!

Ann and Travis had lots of opportunity to talk about things. He’s been remodeling their home. He’s completed therapy. It looks like she will move back home in May when the remodeling is complete. That will give them time to start over, having dates and move slowly. Then in the summer they’ll start couples therapy. It sounds like a good plan. We’ll be watching and praying as it unfolds.

Beth and Ron are looking at houses. Ron’s lease is up on his apartment in October. He doesn’t see the point in renting when their plan is to get married next year. They sat and talked with Nelson about how they should go about this. He gave good advice and they listened and actually followed it. Guess we’ll be watching and praying as that unfolds too.

So my very full house could be a very large house much sooner than I anticipated. Our lease is up in July so we need to make some decisions, too. I can’t even describe how I dread even the idea of moving, but I’m not liking some things that are already going on with the management company we’re renting with. They are now saying our rent is $685 with $10 for the pet rent. We can’t locate our copy of the lease. I know we had one, but it’s hiding really well. I’m going to look again tonight. Nelson and I talked about it. There’s just no way that it was $685. We were ready to balk at the $675. I know it’s only $10 but it’s principle and it is $10. If I can’t find it, I have to call and as for a copy of our original lease. Wonder how much they’ll charge me for that?

I cleaned my office today. Sort of. I filed and decluttered my desk and surrounding space of unnecessary paper. Now I have files to put away. That shouldn’t be too hard.

Well, it’s time to head home. Until later…

Same Old

My life just feels like a series of the same thing over and over repeating itself.

I work during the day. I fill in at Curves—a lot lately. I change a lot of poopy butts.

Sigh.

I’m fighting a sore throat.

Nelson and I are thinking about buying a Curves in Ft. Wayne. How insane is that?

Nelson has lost 130 pounds. But he says he hasn’t really lost it because he’s not looking for it. Clever man!

I have to leave and drive 45 minutes for a meeting in Huron county. I’m sooooo glad the sun is shining today. It’ll be a very wonderful trip!

Pretty soon my lilac will be blooming. Now that’s something to look forward to!