Saturday, January 21, 2006

Kicked to the Curb

Turning on to our street when I came home from work on Thursday, I noticed that two houses down from our house there was a huge stack of stuff out on the tree lawn. Friday is trash day, but they only take trash on trash days. They don’t even take lawn/leaf refuse. They take trash on Tuesdays too, and that’s when to set out your recyclables. But nothing large is allowed. Until April, that is.

In April the town is divided into sectors and during your assigned week you can put anything and everything on the tree lawn. I have actually seen a kitchen sink! What’s really funny during that time is the trucks that cruise up and down the streets and the scads of people who scavenge through the piles and piles of peoples’ cast offs.

So it struck me as very odd that there was so much sitting out on the tree lawn. The house had had some remodeling done last fall, and initially I thought perhaps they were just retting out a bit more to go along with the remodeling. After all, one of the things boldly planted out on the tree lawn was a bright orange sofa.

A little later Nelson and I went out to dinner. We noticed that the pile had grown significantly, but not nearly as much as it grew by the time we came back an hour later. And it all began to make me wonder: why? What was going on? Did a neighbor die? Was the family cleaning up and out?

It reminded me of when my grandmother went into the Nursing Home. She was a collector. My parents called her a pack rat. She had so many antiques. She had stacks of quilts. When I was a child I remember venturing into the “front room.” There was no heat in the front room. There weren’t any lights in the front room. We would go there to retrieve treasures of all sorts and food from the chest freezer. Anyway, the door barely shut at the Home before my parent had a huge dumpster backed up to Grandma’s back door and they donned one-piece jumpsuits and emptied out the house. And everything, E-VER-Y-THING went into the dumpster.

I guess that shouldn’t have been too surprising to me. When I was very young my mother’s parents moved to South Carolina and we moved into their home. In the basement of that home was a beautiful round claw foot oak table. It ended up trashed. Later we moved into a house that had several attics. In one of the attics there were several boxes of antique glass. My mom threw them out without even unpacking them. Then, after my dad died and my mom moved to Arizona she gave away my great-grandmother’s bedroom suite and secretary desk. Gave them away to non-family members who had no interest in them and no emotional ties…like me.

There had been a group of people hanging out at the back of the house one time when we came by. There was a large pick-up backed up to the house with a few items in the back. And then it was gone. Who were those people? Kids? Relatives who just didn’t want to wade through all the “junk”?

The tree lawn was still piled high when I got home from work today. There’s a two-drawer file cabinet sitting there that looks good to me, but for some reason I just don’t think I could pick through the stuff. It feels somewhat disrespectful, cold and calloused.

I started thinking about what would happen when I die. Nelson has informed me that he is going first, his estimate is within five years. Annie has already informed of several items that she wants when I die. It’s kind of nice to know I have things that someone might want, especially when I realize I could live without most of it.

Things I don’t want on the curb:
-Daisy’s lamp. Daisy influenced my life in countless ways. She died during my senior year of cancer. She did macramé. Right before she died she started a hanging lamp. It lacked one panel for completion. Her husband and children got it finished and gave it to me as a wedding gift. It’s hanging over my “corner chair.”
-My great grandmothers mantle clock and the grandfather clock we gave my parents as a 25th anniversary gift.
-Grandma’s baby dish. It’s a crock like dish and there are still some of the decals showing.
-My books. I have lots of books. And while I have culled my collection since I’m no longer a pastor or counselor, there are still five shelving units and countless unpacked boxes. Part of the collection that I hope gets passed on are the very old children’s books.
-My brass rub. When I was in Europe during college, my roommate and I did several brass rubbings. I did one of a medieval nativity on black velvet paper with silver. My dad liked the piece so much he had it professionally matted and framed. It came back to us after my dad died.
-My Pooh collection. I have stuffed Poohs; Pooh watches; Pooh games; Pooh dishes; Pooh mugs; Pooh clocks; and newest of all a set of Pooh kitchen canisters.

The things that last though, I hope, won’t be found in boxes or on shelves. I hope not just some of my words will last, but the love behind them. I hope that there will be those who will remember my hard but be quicker to mention my constant love. When I die, there won’t be lots of money to hand out, so I hope that people will see that I spent my life on others.

I guess I hope when I’m gone that there won’t be much to kick out to the curb.

5 comments:

jettybetty said...

We've been cleaning out my MIL's house--she's gone to "independent living" --I have no idea what we are going to do with all the stuff!

I hope to clean things out myself--so my kids won't have to put my old stuff on the curb!

No baby yet???

Saija said...

i came to see if there was a baby too ... and read your post with interest ... especially since we are cleaning things out for our move ... downsizing! ... since we don't have children, our legacy stuff goes to friends & family ... i am hanging on to things that have sweet sentimental meaning to me ... once i am gone - it won't matter to anyone else ...

in the end, they are all things we can't put in a u-haul and pull behind a hearst ... and in glory our treasures will be those people we bring with us ... so says a tired out saija - who is sorting sorting sorting!

blessings to you, sweet lady!

Erin said...

You're well then... making investments with eternal implications. And lets face it, when you go, you will leave a gaping hole in many lives!

So glad to see how well you're handling things at work. You're a real inspiration for me in that area!!

And I'm glad that you haven't stopped blogging, even though you had an 'outing'. Just think of all the amazing things you've taught her as she's come with other motives :)

Blessings to you as you wait to mee the new loved one face to face...

Fieldfleur said...

Interesting thoughts still. Aren't we supposed to live with the end in mind (w/o undue morbidity of course) and to count the immaterial as the truly lasting part of life? It's good to have those objects of meaning, though.

Thanks for your good thoughts!
Teri

HeyJules said...

I know exactly how you feel. I watched as all my grandparents' belongings went to auction and, at the time, I had no money to buy any of them. I finally talked my parents into letting me "steal" my grandmother's metronome that used to sit atop her piano and it is one of my most cherished items.